[Though a quick analysis reminds him that it was a good way of shutting Portgas up.]
[OR SMOKER HIMSELF.]
Do what you want, Portgas.
[SLOW SMIRK. It's kind of funny. Having Portgas wanting to be pursued for a change. The first Portgas just melted down Smoker's walls while Smoker wasn't able to rebuild them quickly enough.]
[Smoker WOULD normally lean his arm on Portgas' head to be an asshole, but he can't with Ace's head on his shoulder.]
[So he winds up gently floofing black hair instead, letting it gently fall through the fingers of his other hand.]
Namur pointed out, if I really had a problem with this, I could very easily keep you at a distance. And it's true.
[Snorts.]
[Eyes closed.]
But I wouldn't have said any of this to you if I didn't --
[Like, trust, want to be with, TOLERATE, want alive...]
[It's a mixed bag of things.]
[Not love. Namur's insane.]
[Enjoy????]
Want to. [NOD! It's true.]
Hina's another friend in the marines keeping me from getting killed by Akainu. Or getting exiled ages ago. She always says I always get my own way.
And I do.
Remember that.
[He lays back in the grass, both hands behind his head, thinking.]
[He didn't mean to make Ace think more.]
[Bad habit. Smoker thinks too much about everything. Hell, he half thought... that might be what Portgas (the first time) saw in him. Or maybe it's the equals thing. Or trust. Or just that Portgas needs to be loved even by someone who absolutely shouldn't ever-- argh that's just a setup for pain and part of that "just to torture himself" thing all over again, isn't it?]
The only times I ever stopped... thinking about everything...
[Was when? Running on instinct? But even then, his brain always caught up with him at some point.]
[Having fun.]
[He vaguely remembers REALLY early back when. BEFORE Portgas. When people asked him what he did for fun or the like.]
[It's annoying.]
[He could be playful...ish... before. On the Grand Line. But it wasn't for fun. Right? Yeah. It was to be... himself? An asshole? Keep people on their toes?]
[Eh.]
Namur said he fights his instincts for people he cares about. Does things for 'em, he wouldn't normally because it goes so hard against his instincts. And that being around them makes him feel more like himself.
There's only a few times where I'm truly comfortable in my own skin. It's something I like about smoke. It's an irritating element, not like sand which is too fucking malleable, and grainy, and disgusting. But you can't really breathe pure smoke. And it bothers a lot of people. Most, hell maybe all of them. [Lightly kicks Ace!] Except you, still think you're a secret masochist though.
[Snorts and moves a hand to his cigars.] But that's... me bothering everyone else. I didn't even have to respond to you. Sometimes when a Portgas got here, I didn't. I didn't want to deal with it.
If I decided to push you out... I already would have.
It's not that I can't have a life outside of you. Or even that you really forced me to stop being me. You made me want to live more. Even just the dumbass you that's dead, before either of us showed up here, got it? [RUFFLES ACE'S HAIR AGAIN.] You're a pain in the ass, so start taking some responsibility for it, you little shit. That doesn't mean, apologize and try to let everyone live without you. It means, we're already too fucking used to wanting you around. It's a god damn pain in the ass. And your nakama are too nice to ever say so. They'll want to give you space and shit. Let you do you.
But I'm the asshole that always gets my way. Even your little brother can't get his way with me. He wanted to fight Caesar for experimenting on kids he kidnapped from G5's territory. I agreed to fight Vergo only because he was pretending to be a marine, and that's a betrayal I couldn't let go. Sound familiar brat? [Lightly flicks Ace!] Like I said. Equals, you and me. [Snort.] The whole time we were hunting them, your brother never shut up about how I was running too fast for him to keep up because he's like half my height. [EXAGGERATING.] Wasting breath he needed for running.
If I didn't want you here Portgas, I wouldn't be here myself. It's just that simple. Stop thinking so much and do what you want.
[But Smoker's still kind of smug. He knows Portgas wants to be pursued. AND KNOWING THAT: he's going to take some damn time just to be a fucking asshole.]
[Though probably not too long because the last thing Smoker needs is an actual murder on his rap. And he's serious about the snapping thing.]
no subject
[Though a quick analysis reminds him that it was a good way of shutting Portgas up.]
[OR SMOKER HIMSELF.]
Do what you want, Portgas.
[SLOW SMIRK. It's kind of funny. Having Portgas wanting to be pursued for a change. The first Portgas just melted down Smoker's walls while Smoker wasn't able to rebuild them quickly enough.]
[Smoker WOULD normally lean his arm on Portgas' head to be an asshole, but he can't with Ace's head on his shoulder.]
[So he winds up gently floofing black hair instead, letting it gently fall through the fingers of his other hand.]
Namur pointed out, if I really had a problem with this, I could very easily keep you at a distance. And it's true.
[Snorts.]
[Eyes closed.]
But I wouldn't have said any of this to you if I didn't --
[Like, trust, want to be with, TOLERATE, want alive...]
[It's a mixed bag of things.]
[Not love. Namur's insane.]
[Enjoy????]
Want to. [NOD! It's true.]
Hina's another friend in the marines keeping me from getting killed by Akainu. Or getting exiled ages ago. She always says I always get my own way.
And I do.
Remember that.
[He lays back in the grass, both hands behind his head, thinking.]
[He didn't mean to make Ace think more.]
[Bad habit. Smoker thinks too much about everything. Hell, he half thought... that might be what Portgas (the first time) saw in him. Or maybe it's the equals thing. Or trust. Or just that Portgas needs to be loved even by someone who absolutely shouldn't ever-- argh that's just a setup for pain and part of that "just to torture himself" thing all over again, isn't it?]
The only times I ever stopped... thinking about everything...
[Was when? Running on instinct? But even then, his brain always caught up with him at some point.]
[Having fun.]
[He vaguely remembers REALLY early back when. BEFORE Portgas. When people asked him what he did for fun or the like.]
[It's annoying.]
[He could be playful...ish... before. On the Grand Line. But it wasn't for fun. Right? Yeah. It was to be... himself? An asshole? Keep people on their toes?]
[Eh.]
Namur said he fights his instincts for people he cares about. Does things for 'em, he wouldn't normally because it goes so hard against his instincts. And that being around them makes him feel more like himself.
There's only a few times where I'm truly comfortable in my own skin. It's something I like about smoke. It's an irritating element, not like sand which is too fucking malleable, and grainy, and disgusting. But you can't really breathe pure smoke. And it bothers a lot of people. Most, hell maybe all of them. [Lightly kicks Ace!] Except you, still think you're a secret masochist though.
[Snorts and moves a hand to his cigars.] But that's... me bothering everyone else. I didn't even have to respond to you. Sometimes when a Portgas got here, I didn't. I didn't want to deal with it.
If I decided to push you out... I already would have.
It's not that I can't have a life outside of you. Or even that you really forced me to stop being me. You made me want to live more. Even just the dumbass you that's dead, before either of us showed up here, got it? [RUFFLES ACE'S HAIR AGAIN.] You're a pain in the ass, so start taking some responsibility for it, you little shit. That doesn't mean, apologize and try to let everyone live without you. It means, we're already too fucking used to wanting you around. It's a god damn pain in the ass. And your nakama are too nice to ever say so. They'll want to give you space and shit. Let you do you.
But I'm the asshole that always gets my way. Even your little brother can't get his way with me. He wanted to fight Caesar for experimenting on kids he kidnapped from G5's territory. I agreed to fight Vergo only because he was pretending to be a marine, and that's a betrayal I couldn't let go. Sound familiar brat? [Lightly flicks Ace!] Like I said. Equals, you and me. [Snort.] The whole time we were hunting them, your brother never shut up about how I was running too fast for him to keep up because he's like half my height. [EXAGGERATING.] Wasting breath he needed for running.
If I didn't want you here Portgas, I wouldn't be here myself. It's just that simple. Stop thinking so much and do what you want.
[But Smoker's still kind of smug. He knows Portgas wants to be pursued. AND KNOWING THAT: he's going to take some damn time just to be a fucking asshole.]
[Though probably not too long because the last thing Smoker needs is an actual murder on his rap. And he's serious about the snapping thing.]