[GOD. IF THERE WAS A SELF-LOATHING CHART OR THERMOMETER, SMOKER JUST BROKE IT.]
[As soon as Ace latches onto the words about having his fingers sucked, Smoker winces, and feels like Garp having a "Shouldn't have said that moment." And then when Ace sucks on them? HE KNOWS HE SHOULDN'T HAVE. Because he all but snaps and throws Ace to the floor to fuck him madly.]
[AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL IN THE EPIC FASHION IT ONLY CAN WITH SMOKER BECAUSE SMOKER IS A FUCK UP WHO CAN'T HANDLE EMOTIONS AND SERIOUS SHIT EVER.]
[Yes.]
[Beautiful.]
[Wait...]
[DON'T TELL HIM YOU MORE THAN LIKE HIM. HE CAN BARELY HANDLE YOU LIKING HIM!!!]
[Fuck fuck fuck.]
[Breathe.]
I really wish you would.
[Quietly about Ace punching the hell out of him.]
[And as Ace screams into the pillow, Smoker winces and moves to cuddle the brat all the same, and gently kisses Ace's knuckles.]
[WORDS.]
[Fuck.]
[He is WORSE with words than emotions. Is that possible? Maybe they're just equally at 0. Or in the negatives.]
[More kissing Ace's knuckles and Smoker quietly moves him into his lap, willing to let Ace punch him as needed.]
Easier when you don't think about it and get to play tough, isn't it?
[A quiet snort, because Smoker knows it is. He's the same way. Was trying to do that from the start and Ace and others didn't really let him.]
[Finally Smoker takes Ace's face in both hands and leans his forehead against Ace's.]
[Firefist. Portgas. Brat. Hot Sauce. Mine. Just call him Ace. How HARD is that? Okay, it almost took a year to call Aizawa Shouta, and he's not a pirate, but... so what? He's known Ace a lot longer. Why is he so weak?!]
[He gives up trying and back to kissing knuckles.]
I said you're worth taking it slow for. This is some shit I shouldn't neglect. And if you let me... I always will. I'll always turn it into fucking you, and trying to make you smile, because I'm not strong enough yet.
[Pushes Ace to lie down in front of him with Smoker on his side protectively holding Ace like a smaller spoon. Love. Fuck. Fuck. Okay part of him... had to know it. He's just... Bad at every single ounce of this.]
Ace.
[He did it! It's not "I love you," but... it's a step.]
[Smoker moves to gently lay Ace flat to look him in the eyes and pin him with his other elbow under Ace's shoulder.]
[There's a lot of emotions. And even though Smoker doesn't experience them nearly as close to the surface and overwhelmingly as Ace, he gets it. It's like he tried to tell Ace before. It fucked with his head...]
[Which is why he can't help it. He starts laughing, and grabs a cigar for both of them again.]
[It's a tough word for him. For now, he just has to do his best to show things, and hope that counts. And he moves back to Ace's side, though, he leaves an arm protectively over Ace's shoulders and gently kisses his cheek near his an ear with an affectionate dog-like nudge.]
Sorry.
[Another chuckle.] All this was... shit I was thinking, but at least I didn't have to... feel it. [Closes his eyes and snorts, and moves his cigar to kisses Ace's lips, before putting the cigar back and sucking on his own.]
[Timing. Wait or...?]
[For now, Smoker just gauges Ace's temper to see how heated his blood is about all of it.]
no subject
[As soon as Ace latches onto the words about having his fingers sucked, Smoker winces, and feels like Garp having a "Shouldn't have said that moment." And then when Ace sucks on them? HE KNOWS HE SHOULDN'T HAVE. Because he all but snaps and throws Ace to the floor to fuck him madly.]
[AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL IN THE EPIC FASHION IT ONLY CAN WITH SMOKER BECAUSE SMOKER IS A FUCK UP WHO CAN'T HANDLE EMOTIONS AND SERIOUS SHIT EVER.]
[Yes.]
[Beautiful.]
[Wait...]
[DON'T TELL HIM YOU MORE THAN LIKE HIM. HE CAN BARELY HANDLE YOU LIKING HIM!!!]
[Fuck fuck fuck.]
[Breathe.]
I really wish you would.
[Quietly about Ace punching the hell out of him.]
[And as Ace screams into the pillow, Smoker winces and moves to cuddle the brat all the same, and gently kisses Ace's knuckles.]
[WORDS.]
[Fuck.]
[He is WORSE with words than emotions. Is that possible? Maybe they're just equally at 0. Or in the negatives.]
[More kissing Ace's knuckles and Smoker quietly moves him into his lap, willing to let Ace punch him as needed.]
Easier when you don't think about it and get to play tough, isn't it?
[A quiet snort, because Smoker knows it is. He's the same way. Was trying to do that from the start and Ace and others didn't really let him.]
[Finally Smoker takes Ace's face in both hands and leans his forehead against Ace's.]
[Firefist. Portgas. Brat. Hot Sauce. Mine. Just call him Ace. How HARD is that? Okay, it almost took a year to call Aizawa Shouta, and he's not a pirate, but... so what? He's known Ace a lot longer. Why is he so weak?!]
[He gives up trying and back to kissing knuckles.]
I said you're worth taking it slow for. This is some shit I shouldn't neglect. And if you let me... I always will. I'll always turn it into fucking you, and trying to make you smile, because I'm not strong enough yet.
[Pushes Ace to lie down in front of him with Smoker on his side protectively holding Ace like a smaller spoon. Love. Fuck. Fuck. Okay part of him... had to know it. He's just... Bad at every single ounce of this.]
Ace.
[He did it! It's not "I love you," but... it's a step.]
[Smoker moves to gently lay Ace flat to look him in the eyes and pin him with his other elbow under Ace's shoulder.]
[There's a lot of emotions. And even though Smoker doesn't experience them nearly as close to the surface and overwhelmingly as Ace, he gets it. It's like he tried to tell Ace before. It fucked with his head...]
[Which is why he can't help it. He starts laughing, and grabs a cigar for both of them again.]
[It's a tough word for him. For now, he just has to do his best to show things, and hope that counts. And he moves back to Ace's side, though, he leaves an arm protectively over Ace's shoulders and gently kisses his cheek near his an ear with an affectionate dog-like nudge.]
Sorry.
[Another chuckle.] All this was... shit I was thinking, but at least I didn't have to... feel it. [Closes his eyes and snorts, and moves his cigar to kisses Ace's lips, before putting the cigar back and sucking on his own.]
[Timing. Wait or...?]
[For now, Smoker just gauges Ace's temper to see how heated his blood is about all of it.]