Smoker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
justicereigns) wrote2009-12-10 04:10 am
justicereigns) wrote2009-12-10 04:10 am
ooc: log finished
Who: Smoker/Karen
When: Last night (Wed. Dec. 9th) after Zenigata's post and Karen's thread with him.
What: Smoker brings soup and makes things better
Why: Because we can. And happiness.
Where: Karen's hotel room
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13 for *gasp* being on the same bed together.
Karen still felt congested up. Horribly congested. The steam shower hardly did anything for her and she came out of the bathroom with her towel running through her hair. Her eyes were red, possibly from crying, and her nose was dry. She hardly had any makeup on and she was dressed in nothing more than pajama pants with a tight spaghetti strapped black top that clung to her. On her face she wore black square framed glasses she used for reading. "The one time I actually get sick and it's not even in our world.." She murmured to herself and her teddy bear, Po, that sat on the bed.
Smoker hovered uncertainly on the balcony steps. When she said she was going to come see the lights he'd gotten even more worried, and decided he had to just check on if she was really as healthy as she said, some pieces of the puzzle that made up her mind starting to click together and he realized he couldn't leave her there sick and alone, possibly getting sicker. He held the overly large thermos of chicken soup in one hand and knocked hesitantly at the balcony glass door. She looked beautiful. Sick as a dog and if he'd been in that state he'd have been miserable. But still beautiful. And definitely not in any condition to be sitting out on balconies. He felt a little foolish given that he'd gotten all this worried about something she wasn't even doing but now that he saw her there he could help the familiar tug, wanting to protect and care for her.
She rose her head up and blinked, swearing she heard something. She turned and looked behind her, giving a loud sort of yelping scream at jump at him for just...appearing on the balcony. How the hell long was he out there. She hurried to the door, still bare armed with damp hair, and opened the doors, tugging him in out of the freezing snow. "What are you doing out there? You could of gotten sick." She shot at him, rubbing her forehead as she flushed over from her fever, freezing from the bit of the cold that was let in from the door opening.
Half expecting a punch, Smoker flushed himself at her reaction but quickly shut the door and catching her faint look, reflexively reached to carry her but forced himself to stop short and merely catch her and hold her steady instead. "I brought you soup," he grumbled and tore off the torn gloves -- he still hadn't found time to get them replaced. He checked her forehead and growled at how hot it was. "You need to be in bed. Not looking at aurora borealis." He tsked in frustration. "I had no idea it was this bad or I'd have come sooner." He clicked his teeth shut on the cigars. "Lie down and I'll get a spoon." He paused remembering how she told him not to give her orders that should be requests. "Please angel, if you'll let me."
Karen flinched a bit when he almost caught her, still unsure if she's on a sort of hallucinogen from her medication or if this was real. She rubbed her forehead and groaned, not having the energy to really put up some kind of battle. "I just took a shower in hopes it'll get better. So far..nope!" She sighed, sounding stuffed up and turned around, collapsing back on the large bed with a small groan. Her glasses hung down to the brim of her nose and she flopped an arm over her eyes, finding nothing but candle light a bit annoying right now.
Deciding right then and there that Karen was by far the most adorable sick person he'd ever known, Smoker grinned wryly at her and made sure she was safely onto the bed. He set the soup on a nightstand warning Karen, "Don't touch," with a stern finger as if she was three. "Evening Po," he greeted the small stuffed bear almost seriously and walked off to the kitchen to get supplies. Spoon, check. Ice chips to suck on if she she felt too hot later, check. He checked the small refrigerator for something with vitamin C and settled for a glass of orange juice. He then wet a cloth and wrung it out, making sure it was fluffy to put over her eyes. He grabbed a low lantern and one of the decorative advent wreaths and walked back to the bedroom, shutting things off as she went. "Here," he growled softly, putting the damp cloth on her forehead trying to be gruff and caring at the same time. He then went about switch the lights to something less glaring and more festive. Still enough he could read by or at least make sure he got soup in her. "Better?" he asked hopefully before absent-mindedly pulling one of the bright red holiday blankets up and over her shoulders, only half-aware he was practically treating her like a child.
Karen wanted to tell him not to wait on her, but her current state hardly let her pride get in the way. The lights were dim and the air was filled with the scent of soup. Something warm and homely about that scent... Her mother never made her soup like this. Well, she did at one time...but when Karen reheated it with her fire ability her mother pushed the bowl on her and burnt the child before Karen was promptly beaten up for using her fire ability. Memories to her and Po. Hell, Smoker even greeted Po.
Running her hand over her face, Karen sat up and pushed her glasses up, snuffling with her hands rubbing her tired and red swollen eyes. She glanced up when the lights dimmed and nodded slowly, scooting back on the bed with the blanket half wrapped around her bare shoulders. "Didn't have to do this." She said wearily while she leaned back against the headboard of her bed. With a dry laugh she pulled the blanket up. "So, reading my replies with Zenigata?"
She seemed a little more lucid at least. Smoker took the soup off the nightstand and grabbed the spoon. He sighed at the words. He'd been half debating not coming but too many things started making sense finally and he knew where he belonged, and that was to at least make sure she wasn't going to make herself even sicker. "I did," he admitted shamelessly, idly remembering he'd once given her that very song to listen to. He stopped himself short of feeding her, fairly certain it would go directly into a category of smothering and gave her the spoon like a sword, and the soup like a shield. "And I already made the soup, just was waiting for a good reason to come over." He held her gaze intently, staring straight into golden eyes with his piercing grey eyes. "I know you can take care of yourself, I know you're strong and don't need anyone. I'm not trying to rid you of independence." When Tashigi had brought things over for him it clicked. "You told Nataku you couldn't stop worrying about him even though he said he's safe. Let me do this for you." The tone was still gruff and commanding, and the chomping on cigars didn't soften it but the intentions held the same at least.
She looked over the rim of her glasses to Smoker when he handed her the soup and sat up straight, adjusting the blanket to easily take the bowl from his hands. She dipped the spoon in and took a drink of it. From what she COULD taste it was rather good. Home made. Sincere. Everything she wasn't... Clearing her throat she took another sip of it before she sat it down at the side on the nightstand. "S'good." She said quietly and drew her legs up to her, wrapping her blanket tight around her while she sniffed again, wondering if she should go back into the shower for the steam.
Smoker hesitated. She looked sad again and he couldn't tell why or if he was just reading too much into it. He handed the orange juice, "Drink," he ordered reflexively, thinking to himself. "Want me to get a humidifier or something? A book? Anything that would make you more comfortable?" Smothering again... damn it. "If you want to be alone or... not with me I understand. I'll go a room over so you can have your space but if you need anything you can still call," he added in an extremely quiet voice.
She took the orange juice and took a deep sip of the citrus, enjoying the taste before she sat it beside the soup. He was being more cautious at least.
With a small sigh, Karen scooted down on the bed and curled up with her head in his lap, pushing up her glasses with her fingers. "Mm. Just shut up for a bit." She said quietly, not minding and missing the bit of body warmth that he offered. She'd been cold for a good while, while on the island. Maybe this was the better remedy.
He chuckled softly to himself, usually he was the one telling people to shut up. He took a deep breath, inhaling the cigar smoke and letting her scent waft in along it. She smelled clean from the shower, flowery but fiery as well. The tall marine couldn't help leaning over her a little protectively, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and stroking her hair softly. He leaned back for a second to grab her bear and put him in her small arms. "He looked lonely," Smoker insisted gruffly, sounding completely serious about it before wrapping her up in his own strong arms again.
She closed her eyes and curled up in a small ball beside him, blindly fumbling for her bear that she pulled under the blanket with her and hugged on to tight. Po's fur was a little charred still, dirty from years of wear with various seams sewn back in to place. "Just a little" She said quietly with a faint tone of amusement. She laid like that for a moment then glanced up at him from over her rims. "Are you even comfortable like that?"
His eyes were closed, just memorizing the feel, holding the moment knowing he still had to let her go eventually. They opened at the question and leaned his cheek against the damp cloth he'd put on her forehead. "For the first time in weeks," he admitted grudgingly, fidgeting slightly now that she mentioned it. It was easy to remember mornings he'd lounged in bed, smoking a pair of cigars while she still slept on his chest. He carefully pulled his feet up and crossed his legs under her, making sure not to disturb her. There that was even better. "Are you?" he asked still softly in a quiet gruff growl, like a sleepy mastiff warning off intruders.
She sighed quietly and got up, heading so she was laying more on the bed and motioned him to follow her while she tugged the blankets and crawled under them. "Get under. You were out there for who knows how long. You could get sick, too." She said quietly while she set her glasses near the bowl and waited for him to kick off his shoes or undress to get under the sheets. "Might as well go all out on this comfort thing." And she said that with the faintest of smiles.
Smoker's heart skipped a beat, not about to argue it after last time. He got up and off the bed and kicked off the boots, setting his jacket on a chair the way he always did and stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He debated whether to wear them with her. He'd always just worn boxers or nothing around Karen but now it wouldn't be decent. On the other hand the jeans might scratch her. Smoker took her Christmas present out of the pockets and set it on the nightstand. He was still carrying it... a reminder things undone perhaps. Or he was just a masochist. At this point he wasn't sure.
"Jeans on or off?" he asked her with a nervous cough. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable either way. "And you're finishing off that soup," he growled, "If I have to feed it to you myself. I don't cook for anyone so you'd better damn well finish it." He was crankier sounding than really necessary but being nervous set him on edge, thinking he might screw things up all over again. He softened his voice and added in a stern growl, "And you should have the liquids."
With a tired smirk and sat up and took the soup in her hands, drinking it down like miso soup. She breathed and kept eating some of the soup until it was half gone then set it back on the stand. "Whichever you'd like." She left the option open to him. She kept her spaghetti strap shirt and pajama pants on and curled back under the blankets. It was a little chilly. "Either way you'll be warm." She said quietly, somewhat wanting that heat more than ever in her moments of ailment.
"Mm," Smoker rumbled softly, almost in a purr, "Sounds good to me." He took off the jeans, she made it sound like he might be there for a while and he hated trying to sleep in jeans. Besides it wasn't like he was naked. Nor that she hadn't offered. He climbed into bed with her, slipping under the covers and keeping them wrapped tight around her even as he edged up closer and held her in warm embrace around the shoulders. He couldn't pick one thing he'd missed most of all about Karen, there were too many things, but the warmth would always be one. Protectively holding her close like he could fight off her virus just by being there, Smoker leaned his cheek on her hair. "Anything else I can get you angel?" He took one of her soft hands in his, just longing to feel the warmth she radiated like a furnace.
Feeling her medication slowly take a hold of her, she shook her head and buried in close against him, nearly completely hidden under the covers by him and the blankets. "Mm, no...I'm already comforting." She murmured through a sleepy haze. In this condition she would now doubt spill any of her darkest secrets to him.
Smoker really did purr this time, "Hmm... should I just let you sleep then or would you like to talk?" He nearly shied away from that, blowing out a small frustrated puff of smoke seconds after he said it. He wanted to talk, or better yet, just sit and listen to her voice but didn't want her draining herself or risk getting in another fight. "I could sing you a lullabye," he teased gently, "But I don't promise to be any good."
"And one more thing," maybe he was pushing his luck on this but it was important. "I don't want to be the only one telling the truth. Sometimes you have to come tell me things too. If you trust me with it." He kept trusting her and it was lonely feeling like she didn't trust him back. Maybe she didn't have enough proof yet but he was at least trying to make sure she had the chance.
She nodded tiredly with her eyes still closed, rubbing her chin slightly with a small groan at how her head was slightly aching. "Mm, yeah yeah, just..shoot. Go ahead." Came the quiet murmur. There wasn't much she could do right now but talk to him, completely embraced but not exactly hating it. "You speak and I'll retaliate...all calm. I'm not exactly in a position to fight back."
"Yeah," Smoker gave her a gentle squeeze, "That's why I love you angel. Well.. one of many reasons." He ran a hand through green-grey hair. "I didn't understand what you meant about Tashigi." He covered her lips with a finger, mostly expecting it to get bit. "Because well partly because I don't think I've ever really tried to explain what Tashigi means to me to anyone, even myself." He looked up at the ceiling, trying to collect his thoughts in the dim candlelight. "This time without you... when I saw you worrying about Nataku I wished I was him. Even though I don't want to be your kid, I just would have done anything to get your attention and hold it like that." He wrapped both arms around her shoulders again and tugged in her tighter.
"But what I want you to know is that what I'm offering you... it won't ever be what I have with Tashigi. Because you're not her and it wouldn't make sense. But it would be better. Tashigi doesn't even know I like to sing at Christmas mass. Or that I like my showers on fire. And frankly I can't put up with listening to five hours a day of swordtalk. I never get tired of hearing you talk about anything. I always want more. If I'm smothering you I don't know what to do but back off I guess but I don't want to hold anything back from you. You've seen some of my darkest sides, you bring me to the point of losing control. I love that. I don't do that with her. I never could." She looked up to him as a mentor or a role model even if not a father or big brother and he couldn't take advantage of it. "It's cruel I guess but you're stronger. I trust you to handle things I don't trust her with. Can you handle that?" he asked tentatively.
It wouldn't solve everything. Maybe it wouldn't solve anything, just make things worse for all he knew but he had to get it off his chest. To try. To at least know if he was wasting his time still thinking about her, still trying to figure out where he'd screwed up and how. He couldn't go on thinking he was making her miserable with his own callous idiocy. Not while there was something left to try. He hadn't been able to give up yet either but maybe now it would tilt the coin one edge or another.
She was about to open her mouth to say something, but his callous rough fingers touched her lips and she stopped any thought of talking. She glanced up at him and kept quiet all the while. He looked in on her conversations with Nataku. It seemed a little different but in the sense the same. She listened and took everything he said in, her eyes still shut with her mind half loss in the desire to do nothing but sleep. She gave the simplest of nods.
When all was said and done she almost felt that weight lifted from his chest, she leaned up and quickly kissed his lips, traces of chicken noodle soup still there. "I forgive you..I just wanted you to figure it out...so thanks."
Forgive? Smoker tried not to be rankled, instead enjoying the soft kiss and taste of his own soup on her lips. Still, he wasn't sure there was something to forgive. Was he supposed to feel guilty for the way he treated Karen? Or Tashigi? They both seemed to want his attention which was a relief in some ways, and dizzying in others. Tashigi wanted him as a commanding officer and maybe a friend or whatever it was but Karen... he didn't know what Karen wanted from him. Once he would have said lover without hesitation but now... "That's not the only reason you wanted space from me is it?" he growled irritably.
"It was one of the big key things." She said quietly and glanced up at him. Weakly, she laid back on the bed and tugged him to hover on top of her so s he could stare up at him. "I don't...have people in my world. Well, I do." She said tiredly. "I love the ones that are apart of our mission...but, I never had someone care like you seem to do for me. I've been alone since I was little..so having all...this. Waiting around hand and foot. It's different. And I'll try to be a little more patient to it."
"Karen..." Smoker whined, flickering too many emotions at once. Despair and frustration that she couldn't have just come out and told him she was jealous and wanting his time. That instead she pushed him away, getting less of his time? Although it did get him to chase her so it certainly worked in a way. And he was a little amused, she was adorable, and feisty, and everything he loved. Sometimes he liked mind games even when he was on the wrong end of them. "Don't be patient," he insisted with a firm growl, laying over her, supported on his elbows and legs while one of his hands played with her hair. "I don't think I can go through this again. If it seems like I'm not paying you enough attention make me pay attention. Grab my face and tell me you miss me. Fuck. The last month has been the worst of my life without how much I missed you." Granted, he'd arrived at several very important discoveries so no regrets but he really never wanted to go through it again. "I'd move a mountain if you asked me to, I can open up my schedule to make my time for my favorite girl. Got it?" He kissed her forehead firmly again.
"Yeah yeah..I got it." She said quietly and kept her eyes closed while she enjoyed the warmth that enveloped around her. "I'll be sure to do that next time this happens." She smiled faintly though looking as if she was asleep. "Stay with me tonight?" She moaned quietly, still rather congested and light headed from her medication wearing in.
He shifted to snuggle next to her but kept an arm across her chest and shoulders to keep her close to him and warm. "Forever if you'll let me," his whispered into her ear, flooded with a small warmth that she had at least promised as much as she did for the future. She hadn't said she was coming back yet but he was more than content with what he'd already gotten.
Her hands gently ran up those strong arms that she missed and she curled in close next to him, keeping her eyes closed while she nuzzled and clung to that warmth. Maybe off in the distance she heard a soothing sound of bells with Christmas carols. Either or, it was one of those peaceful Silent Nights despite the illness. Quietly, in her daze, she nudged her head to his, gathering closer and whispered, "I love you."
Smoker gulped in air, his face turning bright pink. No matter what he felt he still got nervous saying it, or even hearing it. "I love you too angel," he grinned happily, placing a hand over hers and nudging her head back with his scruff. "Now go to sleep." It was another order but an affectionate one and he tapped her nose lightly the way he used to. He protectively held her close and silently prayed she just remembered it all in the morning and he hadn't made it up.
And he didn't even have to tell her twice on that command. Easily, Karen fell into an actual peaceful sleep curled up next to him and feeling rather safe in his arms. "Sleep well.." She sighed quietly yet happily.
And for the first night in a month, he really did.
When: Last night (Wed. Dec. 9th) after Zenigata's post and Karen's thread with him.
What: Smoker brings soup and makes things better
Why: Because we can. And happiness.
Where: Karen's hotel room
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13 for *gasp* being on the same bed together.
Karen still felt congested up. Horribly congested. The steam shower hardly did anything for her and she came out of the bathroom with her towel running through her hair. Her eyes were red, possibly from crying, and her nose was dry. She hardly had any makeup on and she was dressed in nothing more than pajama pants with a tight spaghetti strapped black top that clung to her. On her face she wore black square framed glasses she used for reading. "The one time I actually get sick and it's not even in our world.." She murmured to herself and her teddy bear, Po, that sat on the bed.
Smoker hovered uncertainly on the balcony steps. When she said she was going to come see the lights he'd gotten even more worried, and decided he had to just check on if she was really as healthy as she said, some pieces of the puzzle that made up her mind starting to click together and he realized he couldn't leave her there sick and alone, possibly getting sicker. He held the overly large thermos of chicken soup in one hand and knocked hesitantly at the balcony glass door. She looked beautiful. Sick as a dog and if he'd been in that state he'd have been miserable. But still beautiful. And definitely not in any condition to be sitting out on balconies. He felt a little foolish given that he'd gotten all this worried about something she wasn't even doing but now that he saw her there he could help the familiar tug, wanting to protect and care for her.
She rose her head up and blinked, swearing she heard something. She turned and looked behind her, giving a loud sort of yelping scream at jump at him for just...appearing on the balcony. How the hell long was he out there. She hurried to the door, still bare armed with damp hair, and opened the doors, tugging him in out of the freezing snow. "What are you doing out there? You could of gotten sick." She shot at him, rubbing her forehead as she flushed over from her fever, freezing from the bit of the cold that was let in from the door opening.
Half expecting a punch, Smoker flushed himself at her reaction but quickly shut the door and catching her faint look, reflexively reached to carry her but forced himself to stop short and merely catch her and hold her steady instead. "I brought you soup," he grumbled and tore off the torn gloves -- he still hadn't found time to get them replaced. He checked her forehead and growled at how hot it was. "You need to be in bed. Not looking at aurora borealis." He tsked in frustration. "I had no idea it was this bad or I'd have come sooner." He clicked his teeth shut on the cigars. "Lie down and I'll get a spoon." He paused remembering how she told him not to give her orders that should be requests. "Please angel, if you'll let me."
Karen flinched a bit when he almost caught her, still unsure if she's on a sort of hallucinogen from her medication or if this was real. She rubbed her forehead and groaned, not having the energy to really put up some kind of battle. "I just took a shower in hopes it'll get better. So far..nope!" She sighed, sounding stuffed up and turned around, collapsing back on the large bed with a small groan. Her glasses hung down to the brim of her nose and she flopped an arm over her eyes, finding nothing but candle light a bit annoying right now.
Deciding right then and there that Karen was by far the most adorable sick person he'd ever known, Smoker grinned wryly at her and made sure she was safely onto the bed. He set the soup on a nightstand warning Karen, "Don't touch," with a stern finger as if she was three. "Evening Po," he greeted the small stuffed bear almost seriously and walked off to the kitchen to get supplies. Spoon, check. Ice chips to suck on if she she felt too hot later, check. He checked the small refrigerator for something with vitamin C and settled for a glass of orange juice. He then wet a cloth and wrung it out, making sure it was fluffy to put over her eyes. He grabbed a low lantern and one of the decorative advent wreaths and walked back to the bedroom, shutting things off as she went. "Here," he growled softly, putting the damp cloth on her forehead trying to be gruff and caring at the same time. He then went about switch the lights to something less glaring and more festive. Still enough he could read by or at least make sure he got soup in her. "Better?" he asked hopefully before absent-mindedly pulling one of the bright red holiday blankets up and over her shoulders, only half-aware he was practically treating her like a child.
Karen wanted to tell him not to wait on her, but her current state hardly let her pride get in the way. The lights were dim and the air was filled with the scent of soup. Something warm and homely about that scent... Her mother never made her soup like this. Well, she did at one time...but when Karen reheated it with her fire ability her mother pushed the bowl on her and burnt the child before Karen was promptly beaten up for using her fire ability. Memories to her and Po. Hell, Smoker even greeted Po.
Running her hand over her face, Karen sat up and pushed her glasses up, snuffling with her hands rubbing her tired and red swollen eyes. She glanced up when the lights dimmed and nodded slowly, scooting back on the bed with the blanket half wrapped around her bare shoulders. "Didn't have to do this." She said wearily while she leaned back against the headboard of her bed. With a dry laugh she pulled the blanket up. "So, reading my replies with Zenigata?"
She seemed a little more lucid at least. Smoker took the soup off the nightstand and grabbed the spoon. He sighed at the words. He'd been half debating not coming but too many things started making sense finally and he knew where he belonged, and that was to at least make sure she wasn't going to make herself even sicker. "I did," he admitted shamelessly, idly remembering he'd once given her that very song to listen to. He stopped himself short of feeding her, fairly certain it would go directly into a category of smothering and gave her the spoon like a sword, and the soup like a shield. "And I already made the soup, just was waiting for a good reason to come over." He held her gaze intently, staring straight into golden eyes with his piercing grey eyes. "I know you can take care of yourself, I know you're strong and don't need anyone. I'm not trying to rid you of independence." When Tashigi had brought things over for him it clicked. "You told Nataku you couldn't stop worrying about him even though he said he's safe. Let me do this for you." The tone was still gruff and commanding, and the chomping on cigars didn't soften it but the intentions held the same at least.
She looked over the rim of her glasses to Smoker when he handed her the soup and sat up straight, adjusting the blanket to easily take the bowl from his hands. She dipped the spoon in and took a drink of it. From what she COULD taste it was rather good. Home made. Sincere. Everything she wasn't... Clearing her throat she took another sip of it before she sat it down at the side on the nightstand. "S'good." She said quietly and drew her legs up to her, wrapping her blanket tight around her while she sniffed again, wondering if she should go back into the shower for the steam.
Smoker hesitated. She looked sad again and he couldn't tell why or if he was just reading too much into it. He handed the orange juice, "Drink," he ordered reflexively, thinking to himself. "Want me to get a humidifier or something? A book? Anything that would make you more comfortable?" Smothering again... damn it. "If you want to be alone or... not with me I understand. I'll go a room over so you can have your space but if you need anything you can still call," he added in an extremely quiet voice.
She took the orange juice and took a deep sip of the citrus, enjoying the taste before she sat it beside the soup. He was being more cautious at least.
With a small sigh, Karen scooted down on the bed and curled up with her head in his lap, pushing up her glasses with her fingers. "Mm. Just shut up for a bit." She said quietly, not minding and missing the bit of body warmth that he offered. She'd been cold for a good while, while on the island. Maybe this was the better remedy.
He chuckled softly to himself, usually he was the one telling people to shut up. He took a deep breath, inhaling the cigar smoke and letting her scent waft in along it. She smelled clean from the shower, flowery but fiery as well. The tall marine couldn't help leaning over her a little protectively, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and stroking her hair softly. He leaned back for a second to grab her bear and put him in her small arms. "He looked lonely," Smoker insisted gruffly, sounding completely serious about it before wrapping her up in his own strong arms again.
She closed her eyes and curled up in a small ball beside him, blindly fumbling for her bear that she pulled under the blanket with her and hugged on to tight. Po's fur was a little charred still, dirty from years of wear with various seams sewn back in to place. "Just a little" She said quietly with a faint tone of amusement. She laid like that for a moment then glanced up at him from over her rims. "Are you even comfortable like that?"
His eyes were closed, just memorizing the feel, holding the moment knowing he still had to let her go eventually. They opened at the question and leaned his cheek against the damp cloth he'd put on her forehead. "For the first time in weeks," he admitted grudgingly, fidgeting slightly now that she mentioned it. It was easy to remember mornings he'd lounged in bed, smoking a pair of cigars while she still slept on his chest. He carefully pulled his feet up and crossed his legs under her, making sure not to disturb her. There that was even better. "Are you?" he asked still softly in a quiet gruff growl, like a sleepy mastiff warning off intruders.
She sighed quietly and got up, heading so she was laying more on the bed and motioned him to follow her while she tugged the blankets and crawled under them. "Get under. You were out there for who knows how long. You could get sick, too." She said quietly while she set her glasses near the bowl and waited for him to kick off his shoes or undress to get under the sheets. "Might as well go all out on this comfort thing." And she said that with the faintest of smiles.
Smoker's heart skipped a beat, not about to argue it after last time. He got up and off the bed and kicked off the boots, setting his jacket on a chair the way he always did and stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He debated whether to wear them with her. He'd always just worn boxers or nothing around Karen but now it wouldn't be decent. On the other hand the jeans might scratch her. Smoker took her Christmas present out of the pockets and set it on the nightstand. He was still carrying it... a reminder things undone perhaps. Or he was just a masochist. At this point he wasn't sure.
"Jeans on or off?" he asked her with a nervous cough. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable either way. "And you're finishing off that soup," he growled, "If I have to feed it to you myself. I don't cook for anyone so you'd better damn well finish it." He was crankier sounding than really necessary but being nervous set him on edge, thinking he might screw things up all over again. He softened his voice and added in a stern growl, "And you should have the liquids."
With a tired smirk and sat up and took the soup in her hands, drinking it down like miso soup. She breathed and kept eating some of the soup until it was half gone then set it back on the stand. "Whichever you'd like." She left the option open to him. She kept her spaghetti strap shirt and pajama pants on and curled back under the blankets. It was a little chilly. "Either way you'll be warm." She said quietly, somewhat wanting that heat more than ever in her moments of ailment.
"Mm," Smoker rumbled softly, almost in a purr, "Sounds good to me." He took off the jeans, she made it sound like he might be there for a while and he hated trying to sleep in jeans. Besides it wasn't like he was naked. Nor that she hadn't offered. He climbed into bed with her, slipping under the covers and keeping them wrapped tight around her even as he edged up closer and held her in warm embrace around the shoulders. He couldn't pick one thing he'd missed most of all about Karen, there were too many things, but the warmth would always be one. Protectively holding her close like he could fight off her virus just by being there, Smoker leaned his cheek on her hair. "Anything else I can get you angel?" He took one of her soft hands in his, just longing to feel the warmth she radiated like a furnace.
Feeling her medication slowly take a hold of her, she shook her head and buried in close against him, nearly completely hidden under the covers by him and the blankets. "Mm, no...I'm already comforting." She murmured through a sleepy haze. In this condition she would now doubt spill any of her darkest secrets to him.
Smoker really did purr this time, "Hmm... should I just let you sleep then or would you like to talk?" He nearly shied away from that, blowing out a small frustrated puff of smoke seconds after he said it. He wanted to talk, or better yet, just sit and listen to her voice but didn't want her draining herself or risk getting in another fight. "I could sing you a lullabye," he teased gently, "But I don't promise to be any good."
"And one more thing," maybe he was pushing his luck on this but it was important. "I don't want to be the only one telling the truth. Sometimes you have to come tell me things too. If you trust me with it." He kept trusting her and it was lonely feeling like she didn't trust him back. Maybe she didn't have enough proof yet but he was at least trying to make sure she had the chance.
She nodded tiredly with her eyes still closed, rubbing her chin slightly with a small groan at how her head was slightly aching. "Mm, yeah yeah, just..shoot. Go ahead." Came the quiet murmur. There wasn't much she could do right now but talk to him, completely embraced but not exactly hating it. "You speak and I'll retaliate...all calm. I'm not exactly in a position to fight back."
"Yeah," Smoker gave her a gentle squeeze, "That's why I love you angel. Well.. one of many reasons." He ran a hand through green-grey hair. "I didn't understand what you meant about Tashigi." He covered her lips with a finger, mostly expecting it to get bit. "Because well partly because I don't think I've ever really tried to explain what Tashigi means to me to anyone, even myself." He looked up at the ceiling, trying to collect his thoughts in the dim candlelight. "This time without you... when I saw you worrying about Nataku I wished I was him. Even though I don't want to be your kid, I just would have done anything to get your attention and hold it like that." He wrapped both arms around her shoulders again and tugged in her tighter.
"But what I want you to know is that what I'm offering you... it won't ever be what I have with Tashigi. Because you're not her and it wouldn't make sense. But it would be better. Tashigi doesn't even know I like to sing at Christmas mass. Or that I like my showers on fire. And frankly I can't put up with listening to five hours a day of swordtalk. I never get tired of hearing you talk about anything. I always want more. If I'm smothering you I don't know what to do but back off I guess but I don't want to hold anything back from you. You've seen some of my darkest sides, you bring me to the point of losing control. I love that. I don't do that with her. I never could." She looked up to him as a mentor or a role model even if not a father or big brother and he couldn't take advantage of it. "It's cruel I guess but you're stronger. I trust you to handle things I don't trust her with. Can you handle that?" he asked tentatively.
It wouldn't solve everything. Maybe it wouldn't solve anything, just make things worse for all he knew but he had to get it off his chest. To try. To at least know if he was wasting his time still thinking about her, still trying to figure out where he'd screwed up and how. He couldn't go on thinking he was making her miserable with his own callous idiocy. Not while there was something left to try. He hadn't been able to give up yet either but maybe now it would tilt the coin one edge or another.
She was about to open her mouth to say something, but his callous rough fingers touched her lips and she stopped any thought of talking. She glanced up at him and kept quiet all the while. He looked in on her conversations with Nataku. It seemed a little different but in the sense the same. She listened and took everything he said in, her eyes still shut with her mind half loss in the desire to do nothing but sleep. She gave the simplest of nods.
When all was said and done she almost felt that weight lifted from his chest, she leaned up and quickly kissed his lips, traces of chicken noodle soup still there. "I forgive you..I just wanted you to figure it out...so thanks."
Forgive? Smoker tried not to be rankled, instead enjoying the soft kiss and taste of his own soup on her lips. Still, he wasn't sure there was something to forgive. Was he supposed to feel guilty for the way he treated Karen? Or Tashigi? They both seemed to want his attention which was a relief in some ways, and dizzying in others. Tashigi wanted him as a commanding officer and maybe a friend or whatever it was but Karen... he didn't know what Karen wanted from him. Once he would have said lover without hesitation but now... "That's not the only reason you wanted space from me is it?" he growled irritably.
"It was one of the big key things." She said quietly and glanced up at him. Weakly, she laid back on the bed and tugged him to hover on top of her so s he could stare up at him. "I don't...have people in my world. Well, I do." She said tiredly. "I love the ones that are apart of our mission...but, I never had someone care like you seem to do for me. I've been alone since I was little..so having all...this. Waiting around hand and foot. It's different. And I'll try to be a little more patient to it."
"Karen..." Smoker whined, flickering too many emotions at once. Despair and frustration that she couldn't have just come out and told him she was jealous and wanting his time. That instead she pushed him away, getting less of his time? Although it did get him to chase her so it certainly worked in a way. And he was a little amused, she was adorable, and feisty, and everything he loved. Sometimes he liked mind games even when he was on the wrong end of them. "Don't be patient," he insisted with a firm growl, laying over her, supported on his elbows and legs while one of his hands played with her hair. "I don't think I can go through this again. If it seems like I'm not paying you enough attention make me pay attention. Grab my face and tell me you miss me. Fuck. The last month has been the worst of my life without how much I missed you." Granted, he'd arrived at several very important discoveries so no regrets but he really never wanted to go through it again. "I'd move a mountain if you asked me to, I can open up my schedule to make my time for my favorite girl. Got it?" He kissed her forehead firmly again.
"Yeah yeah..I got it." She said quietly and kept her eyes closed while she enjoyed the warmth that enveloped around her. "I'll be sure to do that next time this happens." She smiled faintly though looking as if she was asleep. "Stay with me tonight?" She moaned quietly, still rather congested and light headed from her medication wearing in.
He shifted to snuggle next to her but kept an arm across her chest and shoulders to keep her close to him and warm. "Forever if you'll let me," his whispered into her ear, flooded with a small warmth that she had at least promised as much as she did for the future. She hadn't said she was coming back yet but he was more than content with what he'd already gotten.
Her hands gently ran up those strong arms that she missed and she curled in close next to him, keeping her eyes closed while she nuzzled and clung to that warmth. Maybe off in the distance she heard a soothing sound of bells with Christmas carols. Either or, it was one of those peaceful Silent Nights despite the illness. Quietly, in her daze, she nudged her head to his, gathering closer and whispered, "I love you."
Smoker gulped in air, his face turning bright pink. No matter what he felt he still got nervous saying it, or even hearing it. "I love you too angel," he grinned happily, placing a hand over hers and nudging her head back with his scruff. "Now go to sleep." It was another order but an affectionate one and he tapped her nose lightly the way he used to. He protectively held her close and silently prayed she just remembered it all in the morning and he hadn't made it up.
And he didn't even have to tell her twice on that command. Easily, Karen fell into an actual peaceful sleep curled up next to him and feeling rather safe in his arms. "Sleep well.." She sighed quietly yet happily.
And for the first night in a month, he really did.