ooc: Log closed

[justicereigns]

Who: Smoker and Tsuzuki
When: This evening-ish
Why: Smoker never gets a break and Tsuzuki is upset
Where: In the stock room under the stairs and possibly on deck
What: Talking and possibly sparring.
Rating: PG for violence and general swearing, Smoker isn't in a good mood and deals with unhappy marines by making them work. Great guy.



Smoker stomped down the stairs to the cargo hold, teeth grinding viciously on cigars. He wasn't in a good mood. No, foul mood insinuated there could be something good to be found in it. He still hadn't gotten his jitte replaced, he'd only finished the Zs on his filing cabinets, and yet he still had to deal with pirate fights, ship affairs, storms, and he'd idiotically given Tashigi two weeks leaving, not knowing this would all happen at once, so he had to do it alone.

He scanned the boxes and barrels and checked various places someone could hide. It wasn't unheard of for marines to go hiding when things got to be too much. Smoker himself had had plenty of days in the past where he'd wanted to. He went to check the crawl space under the stairs and found it slight jammed like someone was holding it closed. Bingo. He tore it open, just keeping it on its hinges and crouched down to look Tsuzuki in the eyes. He didn't say anything at first, just glared down, trying to keep his calm, what little was left.

Comments

Getting closer... He's hides stuff if you couldn't tell...

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

"Looking for...?" Tsuzuki reached for his right wrist. Gripping around his watch, his shoulders hunched forward. When he had first come to the Grand Line, he had wished to be free of his ties as a shinigami and try to find if he was really a demon, but people had seen right through him. Now, he was haunted once again by his sins. Could he ever be free of them?

"I... I wanted... to find... me." Looking out at the sea, Tsuzuki's eyes softened even more. "I want to know... if I'm really a monster..." He gripped his wrist, recalling his gravest sin of all. It was the sin that truly damned him...

[justicereigns]

"So you said," Smoker sighed, "And you hate using your powers because it hurts people." Smoker ran a hand through green-grey hair. He'd hoped that by showing the kid Tsuzuki he could use his powers for good it would get them somewhere. "Do you really think a man like that could be all bad? A monster?" Smoker growled bitterly. "There are men who spend their whole life striving for nothing more than power, fame, riches, who hurt others and trampling everything in their pass. You try to help others even in death. You think a man like that deserves the title of monster?" He didn't bother fixing Tsuzuki with one of his infamous stares, preferring that the shinigami thought the words over himself and actually thought about it, took it into consideration somehow.

I think we've hit a breaking point... Is Smoker slow with body language? Cough! Wrist! Cough!

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

"There are monsters like that, but I'm worse..." Pulling his wrist to his chest, a tear escaped his left eye. It took everything in him not ot break down. "I'm a coward...! A coward that slaughtered innocents and ran away! I even tried to escape the divine punishment for my crimes by commiting another! I... I'm damned! If it wasn't for the King interceeding at my trial, I would be burning in Hell...!"

He gets it but he's not going to press the fact that Tsuzuki is suicidal cutting >>

[justicereigns]

"And why do you think he interceded?" Smoker pressed calmly.

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

Tsuzuki paused. He'd always thought that the reason Enma-Daioh had stepped in was because of the depth of his regret, which made him a great candidate for the shinigami. Having to kill more was a much worse punishment than hell in the shinigami's eyes. It had taken 80 years for him to get this numb to it, and that wasn't all that much better. Hearing the tone in the marine's voice, he knew what he was trying to say. He sounded just like Tatsumi: You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault. Just rest and you'll feel better. That didn't ease the pain in his heart! It only sounded like running away!

"H-How should I know?! I never understood why Enma-Daioh saved my retched spirit! I didn't deserve it! I murdereded my whole village! I killed the only person that ever cared about me! And then... then..." Tears fell once again. He couldn't help it. He'd keep everything bottled up for decades, for he knew there was no one that could accept all of him. The Commodore had been so good to him. He couldn't bare to fall in his eyes as well.

[justicereigns]

"I said it before," Smoker growled furiously, mostly with the situation, partly with himself but very little at Tsuzuki himself who was at least trying. "A real murderer wouldn't regret it. Wouldn't feel they deserved the suffering. If you don't want it to happen again then get stronger so that it can't. Find out why it really did and make sure it never happens again. That's what you're here for. To do some good for the people here and also yourself. You have a sense of justice, kid. Of right and wrong. If someone else was in your situation, would you really rebuke them the way you are yourself?

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

Catching his breath, Tsuzuki gaped down at the Commodore. How could he ever say such things to someone else? Was he really just being too hard on himself?

"What... else can I do? I want to help people... but..." Suddenly, his left foot slipped from the railing. Failing his arms about, the shinigami grabbed the edge of the crows' nest. Looking innocently back at the his new boss, he gave him a look that said: I'm so useless...

[justicereigns]

Smoker snorted. "But what? You think you can't? Work at it until you do," Smoker fixed him with a stark stare that left no room for argument. "No one who can hold their own against me is incapable of doing something, or getting stronger until they do."

Book Luka, not his sister, but I don't think Smoker knows the diff...

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

"Commodore..." Tsuzuki looked back at the gaze. This wasn't like anyone back home. They all treated him with knit gloves and avoided talking about things. That got him nowhere. The marine was right. He had to get stronger of heart. Then he would be able to get over his fear of himself. He would protect lives and follow the justice he had always believed in. With his legs still dangling in the air, he gathered up the courage to speak his mind.

"I want to get stronger... The only weakness I have is my fears... So many people have suffered because of me, and I don't want that to happen again... If I can, I want to be the angel that Luka called me. I want to be someone like that..."

he doesn't but *shrugs*

[justicereigns]

"Then do it," Smoker growled seriously, his face a gathering storm cloud. "Get stronger until you get there. There's only one way to move on this ocean; forward and up or you'll be left behind." He fixed him with another piercing gaze, grey eyes on purple, "And I'm not leaving any of my men behind."

Tsuzuki has smiled!

[amethystsregret.livejournal.com]

"Alright then." Pulling himself up, he swung his legs around to sit on the edge of the nest. He smiled that was a goal he could work on. "I won't give you a reason to, Commodore Smoker." Putting an elbow on his knee, he rested his cheek on his palm. He smiled down at the gaze. Maybe on the Grand Line he might learn to forgive...

Achievement unlocked! \o/

[justicereigns]

Smoker nodded to himself and glanced out at the horizon. No matter what struggles someone faced; externally or even inside of themselves, the world kept turning. Life moved on and it was either keep up or fall behind. Aokiji had learned that long ago and Smoker knew it well by now. He wouldn't be falling behind any time soon, and if he wasn't allowed to, neither was his crew.