justicereigns | New Yurk Stock Exchange [Video Post]

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New Yurk Stock Exchange [Video Post]

I don't know what to make of this place. It's got moments of dead quiet and then-- [Cut off by a sudden stampede. Bears and bulls go running by and Smoker just dodges out of the way and climbs onto some high rocks and lets the laptop camera take it in. And then there's more of the stampede with men in business suits carrying briefcases and running desperately out of breath chasing the bulls and bears.] This is completely nuts... shit wait for it. [And then they all come running back again in the other direction they originally came from, the businessman running away from the rampaging bulls and bears.]

[Waits for the dust to settle and sighs.] So I guess the bulls are supposed to be on the stock exchange? In exchange for money or bears I don't know. But apparently something happened and it's all gone to hell. And anytime I lasso those men in suits away from their herd they just babble about needing to chase the bears and bulls and "dollar signs." I have no freaking clue what a dollar is supposed to be. Unless they use sand dollars for currency? I guess I could go dig some up to try to bribe one of them for information.

This is ridiculous. If this is supposed to be a punishment Sengoku, you made your goddamn point. Can I have a real assignment? They don't even have a boss to talk to. Tch. Who the hell wears a tux to deal with bulls? Stupid...

[Walks off back to shore and in the background the stampede starts up again.]

Oh Tsuzuki. Happy Birthday. Is the color okay?

[[ooc: reminder to Smoker's crew to check out the MM_SS crew post so you know what islands we're at. And SUPER EXTRA IMPORTANT REMINDER OF THE 7 SINS PLOT!]]

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Right. Those are both completely sane activities.

Good luck with that, then.

I didn't say I have sane thrills. I said I have other ones and I don't need to go for the cheap ones.

...Okay?

You know what, I have a new policy. Every time I talk to you, I'm going to imagine that you make sense and respond accordingly. We'll see how that works out.

Probably better than currently.

I sure hope so, if you plan to keep talking to me.

You do realize this is my journal, and thus you talking to me?

Nooo, I'm talking to you too. You're also talking to me. Besides, you commented to my post.

I was keeping tabs on the situations with the Straw-Hats. I'm not even sure what you're here for.

In any case, you seem to be the only one to find me nonsensical. Except the leopard bastard who doesn't count. So, I'm pretty sure it's you.

Okay, let me explain something to you.

This internet thing? This is new to me. I've just discovered an expeditious means of communication that connects me to someone halfway across the world, transmitting messages back and forth between the two of us at speeds unreachable by any means where I come from, let alone technological. Now, at least by the standards of my world, I'm a pretty smart guy. That means I'm frequently a pretty cautious guy: I'm pretty good at sizing a person up and evaluating quickly whether they can hurt me, and what the chances are that they'll try. I can tell when someone's going to get in my way, ruin my plans, or attempt to run me through with a sword. I've been doing it for my whole life.

You, sir, are a high risk suspect on my list. I have no doubt in my mind that you might fly off the handle and attempt to kill and/or arrest me were we acquainted in person. The beautiful thing is, we aren't. I'm over here, and you're all the way over there. Judging by your complete and utter lack of motivation to actually capture any of the pirates you're after, you're going to be all the way over there, on the other side of the internet, for a good long time.

Another thing about me is that I lie. I lie a lot, sir. It's what I do, and it serves me well. But when I feel that I'm not at risk? I can be brutally honest.

When I talk to you, like this? I'm not at risk. And I don't like you very much, and that means that I like to piss you off. The best way to accomplish that, nearly always, is not to tell someone you slept with their mother or that their ears look funny. No, the most efficient way to piss someone off, Commodore Smoker, is to tell the truth.

All of this adds up to one thing: I have every reason to be honest with you. Every reason! You can't hurt me, and I like to annoy you! Do you see what I'm saying?

What I'm saying is that maybe it's not very smart of me to be evaluating you as someone very far away, because no one else seems to be doing that - and I can tell. Maybe I should be keeping my mouth shut and lying through my teeth.

But I'm not.

You're just a fucking nutball.

Have a nice day.

First of all, I am hunting you crew. Unfortunately, as both me and my boss know, I need a strong crew just to handle your crew's inherent idiocy. Furthermore the only times I can catch up to Straw-Hat are not directly on his tail, but getting ahead of him and waiting for him to show up. I've done it 4 times, I can and will do it again.

Secondly, I'm very good at discerning criminal's lies. Maybe you haven't noticed, but between all the idiocy, paperwork, and errand running, that is actually my job.

Now scram.

Okay, now you're telling me all these things you do that you don't actually do. Never mind, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to you later.

I do all of those. And in the last six months I've accomplished more than you have probably in your entire life.

Okay. I want a list.

Go back through the journals.

I've taken down 2 crime ring organizations, protected 3 islands. Arrested 7 or 8 pirate crews, and I filled out my crew's ranks much better including a Bookman, 3 guns specialists, and a couple of secret weapons I'm not giving out information out about.

Yeah? An indeterminate number of pirate crews, Jesus. That's something.

I used to be a god.

7 or 8, it's not that vague!

No, you didn't.

You can't remember?

Yes, I did. What, do you have proof to the contrary? Let's see it.

Not for specifically 6 months. I don't think it's 9 unless you count the other criminal rings, which I don't. They were mostly weakling so I don't really care very much. Just my job. And since Mello's pet homunculus ate my paperwork, the last few months are the last to be restored and sorted and I don't feel like looking up notes.

Tch. There's only one real God and he's not human. Also you can't stop being a god. So assuming some idiot made you into some sort of living idol, that doesn't really make you a real god because you'd have no powers aside from the socio-political ones afforded you by your so-called status.

You believe in God? How? You know a guy whose father is a god and whose girlfriend is the daughter of the goddess. The people on this ship fought and defeated a god, who was omniscient and had lightning powers. There's a guy here who was once the opponent of a man who had the powers of a god of death. I know a girl personally who's a grim reaper, one of many, and hasn't seen anything to indicate that people go to Heaven or Hell as the church describes them. And on top of that, plenty of people here believe in more than one god at once, so announcing that there's only one real God is kind of a dick move, if you ask me. You can't know that, and there's a lot of evidence to support that it's false.

Besides, even if I WAS only a living idol with massive sociopolitical power and influence over an entire nation, what do you have rule over, a ship? How many people, a few dozen? You have a BOSS. I rescued an entire people with a boat, two assistants, and a plan I made up myself. No, I haven't captured any pirates or broken up any crime rings; just subverted the efforts of an ENTIRE ARMY. I'm sure you could do better.

Frankly Tulio, I once again don't give a damn.

George herself has said they crossover into the light. I've had a young woman work with my ship who also was a shinigami. She's said herself there's no heaven or hell as defined by Catholicism, but I've also known Karen, and half of my crew who are Catholic and have seen more than, I expect, most people. Tsuzuki is likewise, dead and has met the King of Hades. But maybe you haven't noticed yet, it's a pretty big universe with a lot of differences world to world or versions of world to another. I don't really care that much about what happens when I die; just how I run my life now.

Are you really that pissy just because I don't think you're a god? Mm-hm. Good luck with that, my opinion isn't changing from this. You claimed I haven't done anything worthwhile, I already told you otherwise, now shoo.

...So what you're saying is that, in spite of all that, you're automatically right anyway.

And you said that you'd accomplished more in the past six months than I had in my entire life. Yeah, I took offense to that, because it was wrong. So I stated my case. If you still think you're that successful in comparison, hey, feel free to act condescending all you want.

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New Yurk Stock Exchange [Video Post]

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