justicereigns | Appointment Post / Voicemail / All That Jazz

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Appointment Post / Voicemail / All That Jazz

Smoker can't come to the journal right now because he's out not!arresting pirates so leave a message.

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Duly noted.

[Oh. God. Lupin... why would you compliment him? And say he's not scary? HE LIKES BEING SCARY. Also way to sound way too much like Straw Hat for his comfort there. So quick as a flash, Smoker takes his jitte and rams it hard on the toes of one of Lupin's foot. It's not as bone-crushing as in his full form or if was standing, but it's enough to make stubbing a toe seem like a nice massage in comparison.]

So long as you're not horrible I'm sure your neighbors will appreciate it too. [Red ears. Must tsun more! And an annoyed growl.] I'll have you know I'm very intimidating punk. Just because you're too much like Straw Hat to have sense doesn't mean the others aren't.

[Jitte+Foot=PAIN!!] Heeeeeyyyy~

[That's his only protest as he clutches his foot, letting the torrent of tsun fall onto his ears. The anger is only delightfully cute with Smoker as a woman--otherwise, it would likely be intimidating.

It's still not scary, though.

He still grins that infamous wolf grin seconds later, despite the pain in his foot.]

Maybe not 'having the sense' just means we can actually get things done, Cap'. It's not a bad thing. It just helps some people do what they do better.

Tsk. [Outwardly ignores the pain, but he's pleased B)] So I seem to recall, though that usually applies to a specific set of people in my world.

Unless you secretly have a middle initial D. hidden away in your name somewhere.

[That was a nonsequiter. Have a blank stare.]

...what does that have anything to do with anything?

That's the people it applies to in my world. Gol D. Roger, Monkey D. Luffy, Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Dragon. And so on.

Ahh~, I see. Nope, sorry to disappoint. There's no D. in my name.

I'm not disappointed.

[If anything, he's more relieved, but he suspects it doesn't mean much for other worlds.] Besides, to my knowledge you don't eat enough to break world records. [Since Garp broke the record for donut eating and Smoker has had the misfortune of seeing Luffy and Ace eat :| AND Blackbeard in Luceti...]

How's your foot?

[What a wierd crowd...]

I don't think I want to know why hot dog eating contests are important. Sounds like they need a better hobby.

...and it's not broken, though that jitte makes me glad Pops only uses the cuffs when we're running around.

Tell that to Straw-Hat. It's only because of his weakling chef that he doesn't eat all of the meat here.

And his grandfather broke the donut eating contest. And crackers. And tea. The marines have some strange people in it.

[Smirks at the bit about his jitte.] And this isn't even my seastone tipped one. Harder than diamonds.

....I'm thinking I'll stick with the nice people at Interpol, thanks. At least they have understandable, if more annoying, quirks.

[He stares at Smoker at this, curious about the seastone in general but not wanting to break his hands.]

I'll be sure to not give you reason to use your normal one, then.

[That would be best Lupin, if you touch his seastone, he will break bones.]

That'd be for the best thief.

And your world does seem a lot more normal than mine. The people in it certainly do. [He says even though he thinks Lupin is kind of nuts, if Lupin is the Luffy of the world, he's a lot milder.]

[...huh. Was that Smoker being a little nice there?]

When the worst I need to deal with are sociopaths who went nuts and got their hands on some nasty tech? Yeah, that is more 'normal', compared to a place where everyone and their dog can have super powers or something wacky.

Yeah, there's corruption, but that's everywhere. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Really? I thought it was less corruption in your world.

Corruption's everywhere--how else do you think I stay in business? I've taken out politicians and dictators, you know.

It's all part of the game, really. [He shrugs. What else was there to say?]

Really now. [Sliiiightly disbelieving. Smoker allows for exceptions like Straw Hat, but he doesn't expect them.]

Tsk. I suppose it's a matter of World Government instead of a country. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

[The Government agencies don't expect them either, but they tend to weave their own web of lies that makes them easy to bribe or take down.

Another shrug.]

That's probably so. I'm not big into that stuff, I'm just a guy who doesn't like being told what to do [and is a compulsive thief to boot.] If you want a better idea of politics in my world, try Pops or Fujiko. Pops works for them; Fujiko steals their secrets.

Fujiko is...?

Tsk, I hardly think stealing is the best way to go about change.

A thief. A spy. An assassin. One of these, all of these--I don't know. I love her to bits though.

And none of us are doing anything so noble as 'going about change.' We can only live our lives as we do, and our lives don't follow the laws of our world.

Pardon? Oh. Your girlfriend? [HELL NO LUPIN. He's not going near the crazy psycho with a ten foot pole. Just from what Zenigata told him.]

Tch. Then why bother. You don't have any sense of justice?

[He sighs.]

I'm a thief--I don't act on justice. I act for what I like, what I want to do, what's fun. That doesn't stop me from taking out the truely bad guys, though. They try to kill me, eventually. Being the Greatest Thief of the Century puts a target on your head.

But, you know what? I get them first. And, sometimes, people are better off.