justicereigns | Appointment Post / Voicemail / All That Jazz

....

[slumps to the floor, drawing his legs up to his chin and rests his arms on them]

Her and everyone else.

[it's like he can't even really decide how people will take him anymore. They all already know. How he lived. How he died. He can't become something new. He can't even play at it because they know the truth. And what stung the most is they knew more than he did and there was a part of that he could never find out for himself unless...

unless he went back and saw for himself

He rests his head on folded arms]

Who cares. I'm still going to take her on.

[Picks him up and takes Ace with him.]

You're an idiot. You want to take her on? Make her like you. She's not as hard a sell as I am, and her justice is less unwavering, but it's twice as strong. She told me off for upsetting you. Not because I was too nice. She wants you to have a chance here, and hates your killer maybe even more than I do.

[Holds him on his shoulders, to the motorbike.]

[And drives it out to Fayren.]

You can't make her hate you. You'd have to become blacker and bleaker than you'd ever be happy with. So don't try. You want to prove something? I told you how from the start. Make it so that every marine who winds up here finds an entirely corrupted marine corps who would all defend your right to live in peace and refuse their idea to hurt you.

Your brother is doing that. It drives me insane. My whole G-5 have to act like imbeciles because they like his crew too much. And Tashigi is still fond of the doctor and navigator. And the chef completely converted my men, as if they weren't annoying enough already.

Edited 2016-08-04 07:29 (UTC)

[he doesn't have it in him to move away. Though he does feel more comfortable away from the house. He lays limp on Smoker's shoulder and watches his butt idly and the ground whirring past. This is kind of nostalgic]

I don't want to make her like me. That's not honest.

[and it would require him to be not himself]

I want to fight her. I want to see-- It... [okay he will be honest] if she dislikes me fine but I want to see how much she can take. I want to see what she does. She's interesting. I don't like her anyway but... I don't dislike her either.

[reaches down and grabs Smoker's butt, just to feel it squish]

And I still want to find new ways to annoy you and see how far you'll go.

[he doesn't know. He wants to see their breaking points. But then he really would be like the assholes on the sea. It's not befitting a Whitebeard or the brother of Luffy.]

I don't care about corrupting the Marines. If they can be corrupted their weak. Luffy doesn't count because everyone loves an idiot.

[squish squish]

[Annoyed, and as soon as he gets some place less crowded, he takes Ace down, even though it puts him pretty much in between Smoker's lap and the handlebars. Fuck it, he doesn't care.]

That's not how it works.

You want to see if she's strong enough to withstand your worst? Is that what your crew went through? How much fire do you want everyone to jump through before they're worth being strong enough to love you, huh?

Boo. [leans forward to rest his chin on the dash, resting his fist on it]

My crew are already too strong to get burned. [which is why he belonged there] And Luffy is too stupid. [and Sabo ... well.. that's something else again]

No one else gets that... Or, well I guess maybe Jiijii.

....

[he rests his cheek on his arms, hat shadowing his face]

He was there too ...

[:< Stupid brat.]

[He hates when you're sad.]

Dummy...

[HUGS HARD.]

[Because he's thinking of Whitebeard, and what Whitebeard would do and Tashigi, and her sense of justice and --]

You can't save everyone pain by making them hate you so that they'll be glad you're dead. The only thing you can do is embrace what you have and live it to it's fullest.

[SHOVES BACK HARD AND PRESSES THE COWBOY HAT DOWN ON ACE'S HEAD.] Why do you think I'm doing motorcycles, here?

You're not dead.

[he sounded more bitter than he meant to but fuck it]

You can go back. I don't want to make a life here. There's no life here. There's nothing in this place. Not even a decent ocean. There's hardly anyone I know and no one I care to see and I can't even do anything. I can't see Pops or the rest--

Tch...

I want to go home, Smoker. Who cares about here?

[and he hates that's his only option]

[Takes Ace's hat off, and gently hangs it around his back so he can run a hand through Ace's hair, gently ruffling it back.]

I don't know why you're here, Portgas. I don't know why you came at such a confusing time for you.

But I do know you weren't meant to be here so you could convince people to hate you. And your life wasn't, or shouldn't have ever been about that either.

Other than protecting Luffy, [Probably the first and only time Ace will ever hear Smoker call him that] and seeing him become King, what do you want? To be happy? To be miserable and take it out on anyone close enough to you that you're jealous and can hurt them and can feed that self-loathing more?

[Gently pushes black hair back.]

The man I knew, who died that day smiling because he knew his brother was going to change the whole shape of the world's history, he didn't seem to want anything. He hated himself for his family being in danger, and he hated them for loving him enough to risk anything to be by his side, and he loved them for it, and hated himself because he didn't think he deserved it. But he died happy, or at least satisfied, because he knew he did something no one else could do. Are you going to shrink away from that now? Do something petty and small-time that anyone could do, or are you going to do something here so important, so vital, so big that no one but you could dare to try it?

[Sighs and gets off his bike, swinging his leg over like dismounting from a horse and walks out into the wilds, flicking ash off the end of the cigars.] I grew up in Loguetown, I don't know if anyone ever told you. I was really taken with the stories of Roger. I hated other pirates, because they all claimed they were going to be as big as him, but they only ever did petty bullying shit that he would have kicked their asses for. [Turns back to shoot Ace a sharp look.] Your Pops was livid when you died. He swore up and down that One Piece was real. And it was going to be found. Probably by your brother. He did that for you.

[Reaches out and points with the hand holding his cigars.] If he was here now, what do you think he'd tell you to do? Sit around making an ass of yourself because things didn't turn out well, or stand up and shake up the universe, Portgas?

[don't ruffle his hair. Don't sound like Adela. Don't talk about Luffy or Pops that way. Don't talk about his death being some being important thing that he'd been happy about even if he couldn't remember any of it because he'd never had it]

Fuck you I don't even know that guy.

[it seemed alien to him. Well except the parts at everyone coming for him.]

And Pops wouldn't care. He wouldn't care if I shook up the universe or spent all my time strolling so long as... [Ace looks away, gets off the bike and walks a short distance just to get away from Smoker a little...

As long as he was happy.

But he didn't know how to be happy here. Especially since he didn't want to be here. He could manage it sometimes but all the other times he was angry or jealous or confused or or anything but...]

Pops will find the one piece... [huffs. and Luffy will be Pirate King. It will work out because things for Lu tended to.]

I... I don't know what to do.... [about anything]

Edited 2016-08-04 08:50 (UTC)

[...]

[No, he won't.]

[Whitebeard never wanted to or he could have gone after it twenty years ago.]

[Whitebeard died that day.]

[Whitebeard's vaccuum was still somehow less than Ace's, because Ace was young. Because Ace should have been given more chance. Because that's justice, and what happened, wasn't. It was what Doflamingo described as strength. But it wasn't. It was an abuse of power. It was weakness.]

[And it pisses Smoker off.]

[But it's not worth the fight.]

[Not even a little.]

[So he just grabs Ace with a lasso of smoke around the foot, to try to whip him up and hang him upside down eye level with Smoker.]

Start small.

If you don't know what would make you happy, start with not doing things that make you miserable.

Believe it or not brat? I've been there. And I'll do my best to help you through it.

[damn him...

though Ace weirdly kind of likes it. It's interesting and he's never really seen Smoker from this angle before... and maybe because partly he's relieved. That's something he can do. It's easier than the rest of it. Maybe he can't figure out happy but not miserable...

but still...

He sighs]

I still want to mess with Tashigi though. It's a problem. I want to figure her out and I don't want her to think of me as just some poor stupid dead pirate. But I don't want to freak you out either. Because it's too hard to be mad at you for long and you were right. I can't stay away from your stupid face.

[Grabs Smoker's face in both hands and kisses his chin]

[His heart jumps up into his throat, and he blushes furiously, and tries even harder to ignore or at least PRETEND to ignore the whole thing, even as the blush spreads out to his ears. It's fine. It's Portgas being Portgas. And it probably doesn't mean anything, he just wants to annoy him, so the simple thing is to not be annoyed, right?]

[Right.]

You hurt her and I'll break you.

And I mean it, Portgas.

I haven't gone easy on you out of pity, but because...

[...]

[His tongue shrivels up and refuses to finish that...]

Well...

You know.

[Because he told him once before. Even if Ace didn't believe him.]

[He swings Ace once, just because he thinks the kid might enjoy it, and then carefully swings him back into a soft landing on the ground.]

She doesn't pity you either. She's just...

[He sits down near Ace on the ground, with his knees bunched up, and arms around them and offers Portgas a cigar.]

We knew what your grandfather did for you. [Quiet voice.] All of it. [Moves just enough to let Ace choke or beat him senseless, whichever he preferred.] I don't think the others do as much. And we... don't agree with the government on it. [Wary, and haki coating his balls, but otherwise still willing to let Ace lose his cool.]

Well-- I can't say I won't... But I won't ride her as hard as I do you. I just want to see... Anyway she's you're subordinate right? She's got to be strong as steel.

[he's not sure what he's supposed to know... and the swing thrills him for a moment and then... the rest of it.

Ace flushes and moves away from Smoker, pulling his hat down as something like shame stings through him. Fuck]

Does everyone know about that? God. Who cares if you don't agree. I don't want to hear your stupid platitudes.

[but that she knew. That she would treat him any differently just because--]

Is that why you get so weird around me? Because you know all of it? It doesn't mean anything! [he wishes it didn't mean so much. That it was everyone's first thought

Just knowing...]

Did you tell Adela too?! Does everyone have to know every stupid detail about stuff that doesn't matter?!

No.

No, I wouldn't.

That's your place, if you ever feel strong enough.

And I don't treat you weird over him.

And she won't either. [Lights a fresh pair of cigars.] She told me off for thinking I could get one over on him by --

[Waves a hand.] Well, it's not important. And I hate to admit it, but she's probably right. She usually is.

And it doesn't matter how strong she is, she never realizes her real strength, and if you can't help her with that, at minimum, don't make it worse.

Portgas. [Looks up at him, and moves to crouching on his heels.] I've always told Adela you're Whitebeard's son, because you died making sure the whole world wouldn't forget it. And I haven't.

But I think it's important you know. You said trying to make her like you would be dishonest, and hiding just how much I know from you--

[Shrugs and rolls his eyes.] Would be the opposite of what Maribelle did for me. She trusted me enough to handle everything she knew. And while I didn't handle that great, I still think she had the right of it.

[Sighs and stretches out his legs.] You said once you don't get close to girls. But here... it's not like the government is after you. I know you don't want to be here, and I'm not trying to get you to do anything you don't want to, I just want to understand your thinking on it, all right?

[he nods about Tashigi. Part of him wants to take down a Marine out of... something. But he can't to someone so close to Smoker... and that's not really him anyway...

He's glad that Adela knows that he's Pops' son and no one else's. His was the only son Ace ever wanted to be, even if he wasn't doing such a great job of it. Marco and Namur were being so calm and confident about everything and Ace knew what a mess he was...

He sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets]

Thanks... about Adela...

But strength has nothing to do with it. It's not some thing that I have to aspire to. That I have to get tough enough for. Why does anyone have to know?

[he kicks at the ground, back turned to Smoker and huffs. Does it matter, he wonders, when it seems everyone from his world knows already?

He rolls his eyes at Smoker's question]

Why are you so obsessed with that? [turns back toward him and is mildly surprised to find him crouched. Have headpats Smoker. Have ear scratches]

Heel.

[good dog]

[Annoyed warning growl at the command and headpats. Remove that hand, boy, or find it soon bitten.]

I'm not obsessed. But if you are holding back from such a thing to protect Adela from it, you do owe her a better explanation than not.

[SIGHS AND SITS DOWN CROSS-LEGGED ALL HUFFY.]

No, never mind. I suppose I understand your thinking. [Ace wanted to be a protector, and if she saw something he couldn't handle she'd view him differently. And yet...]

[Gets back up and ruffles Ace's hair in REVEEEENGE.]

About Adela. Not everything else. It's important, Portgas. You're not hunted here. Except by me. Why not take advantage of that? Isn't that the freedom pirates crave so much?

[Ace groans and does remove his hand if only because he now wants to punch Smoker on the head and doesn't want to give him the pleasure. But then he scowls and moves away from Smoker's grip]

Look I'm grateful that you look after her but what goes on between us is none of your stupid business. I've already told her I'm not interested. Why should I have to tell her why? I tried to push away from her but she wouldn't let me. Now I'm not supposed to do that but everyone wants to know why I do?

Fuck that. Because I don't want to. Don't tell me to take advantage of it and I'm fucking sick of hearing what a pirate is supposed to be like. [kicks him in the shin]

Freedom is doing whatever the hell you want regardless of what people think. Of being who you are even if it pisses everyone off. [of being able to invent and reinvent yourself but how could he when there was nowhere to go]

So get off it already, will you? I'll try not to break her heart but I didn't ask for her to care for me in the first place!

[Punches him in the jaw, hard. With haki. Full-out Garp style.]

KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!

I told you! I TOLD YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN! You can't stop people from caring about you and to try will only get them killed quicker than not!

You think I want to be out here giving a damn about a pirate? Stop hating yourself for something you can't control! If you're going to hate yourself, at least do it for your actual actions! Not being someone people like!

[He's livid again, and wants to tackle Ace and throttle him, but for now his fists are just clenched very tightly at his sides.]

I like you, Adela likes you, I piss everyone off and I'm not even a pirate!

Stop thinking you can protect ANYONE by keeping them away from your heart! I'VE TRIED IT! I GET IT! I wouldn't be able to handle her any better, I'd probably be worse!

[Tilts his neck with a stretch to the side.] You can't control how you feel so what makes you so god damn arrogant as to think you can control anyone else's! Maybe I want to be pissed off like this! What are you going to do about it?!

[Gives him a more wild swing this time, easily dodgeable.]

[what the fuck? Ace staggers with the hit. Why are they even talking about this?! Why is Smoker so pissed? He was talking about something else altogether! Why does Smoker want answers when he can't even get what Ace was trying to tell him. He dodges the swing but then just stares at him. This is so stupid. It's all so stupid

So he tries again]

I can't stop you but I don't owe you anything either. Also don't tell me what to do.

Idiot!

I'm not telling you do anything, other than stop being an asshole just because people like you and you don't know how to deal with it. It's infuriating.

She likes you, but she's competent enough to deal with it without your pity or bullshit.

[Takes out his jitte and points it at Ace with a double twirl.] I didn't tell you to take advantage of anything other than being free you fucking dumbass. Something you should be able to do instinctively enough! And you don't owe me an explanation of why you won't, but you do owe yourself one if you don't!

You can't even make up your mind! Be free but stop being an asshole! Do what you want except what I don't want you to do! You owe Adela an explanation but she's strong enough not to need pity or bullshit..

What the hell do you want from me?! [throws up his hands] I can't be whatever mess is inside your head!

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