justicereigns | [Video] / Action // Holiday Cheer?

[LOOK EVERYONE! It's Santa! OMG I KNOW THAT GUY!!!!]

[Wait. What is he doing in Luceti? And why is he smoking two cigars? Surely that is setting a very bad example for the kids! And dang, don't those scars look a little familiar? Along with the scowling face? Why yes! It's Smoker! Back from his kidnapping! He clears his throat gruffly and... wait for it.... wait for it....]

[Why yes! That is Smoker, dressed as Santa, caroling. It's a holiday miracle!]

Have a holly jolly Christmas....

[He sounds like someone just killed his pet. Dear god, that's about as far from "holly jolly as you can get!]

It's the best time of the year.
I don't care if there'll be snow.
I just want a rum and beer.

[... Um. We're experiencing some technical difficulties, as a green little elf hand stops the journal transmission. After a few seconds he comes back and TRIES to be a little more cheerful...ish.]

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street... [He twitches. Can he do it? Can he keep up this masquerade of holiday spirits and Santa Claus holly jolly warmth?!]
Say hello to --

No. That's it. I'm done. Keep your damn rum cookies you tyrant! I'm out of here.

[And he storms out, shutting off his journal to take it with him.

[Action:]

[If anyone wants to find him, he's skipping teaching lessons today and just bumming around the bar instead. Still stuck in his Santa costume. It doesn't come off. And thus his immense frustration. Besides Chun-Li already mentioned covering them so fuck it. Time for booze. Also, if no one stops him, he'll be lighting up his cigars with a cigar menorah. Yes. A cigar menorah. Too bad no matter how he tries he can't seem to pry the cigars out of there. Oh... and he does try. At least they keep smoking and smelling vaguely pine like! Awww how festive.]

God damn it! These cigars don't even taste like cigars! I might as well just be eating candy canes!! [Gives up and stubs them out, slumping his head into the bar. Being Smoker is suffering. Not to mention... what the hell is in that sack he's got anyway?]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

You definitely will.

Do you have a present in mind you're wishing for?

Don't worry! I've been good!

[Four still wasn't much, but at least it was twice as much as she was going to get.]

I... I even saved miss Chun-Li some food for dinner!

[Hey, this is a major accomplishment for her! Her elf has been quite nagging about it really.]

Guess that's good enough. Maybe you should work on lookin' a little less... sour, though. Don't wanna scare 'em away before they can even ask, right?

[He thinks about that for a little bit before reluctantly agreeing.]

Yeah, that'd be worse.

What shifts have you been through here again?

You normally don't? That seems... naughty.

[Blunt stare and a small growl.]

I don't look sour.

[He looks worse now... oops.]

No... No, Santa please... you must understand...

If I don't eat enough I... I start passing out and going into hunger induced comas!

Far worse I'd say.

No, because you cut off the end of the rolled paper. Here, roll up a piece of paper as tight as you can, cut it and then try to redo it and you'll see what I mean.

What, seriously?

That sounds dangerous. Have you seen a doctor?

Several actually...

They've all told me there's nothing medically wrong with me except... for malnutrition... Apparently I don't even eat enough.

[Only the stupid and ill-informed would actually believe someone like Smoker was actually Santa Claus, so no. Perona doesn't believe it for a second. She's just playing along because it's hilarious. And possibly to get a picture for some serious blackmail material. It's not counted as naughty if she takes a picture with "Santa", right? Of course not! She'll just show it off to all her "friends" to spread the holiday cheer!]

Oh? Is there a situation? My, how diligent of you, to come here personally. And here I thought that's what these bothersome little imps were for. [She nudges her own elf, who puffs up indignantly. That's a point for naughty, you know.]

The big one was the time people believed they were from another world.

Some other, less significant ones. But that's the biggest.

[That's a clear sign Firo should stop. So he doesn't.]

You looked in a mirror lately?

.. Ah, I was thinking of a book, but.. I wanted to make sure that my friends will get presents too. It'd be sad if they didn't, right? Since I'm sure a lot of them were really, really nice this year.

[ ... ] Like.. Ikki-kun, Smoker-kun, Rin-kun and Lee-kun were all fighting to protect everyone from bullies. That's being nice, right..?

I meant re roll it in another one of those paper things, not the same one. But fine, I get your point.

[At least he won't be able to smoke himself to death.]

There wouldn't be any point, I'm not hurting for tobacco filling that badly.

[He's still got cigars, they just all taste like candy canes right now :|]

Right, I remember that. Vaguely.

Hn. All right. No one ever said the Malnosso don't their kicks in bizarre and unfortunate ways.

[Smoker disagrees. That's beyond naughty!]

The elves are trying to get people to be nice. [Folds his arms, DEFINITELY Smoker, not Santa here.] Apparently there were so many naughty pirates around here, they had to call me in specially.

[Peers at her suspiciously.] Should I even ask how much mischief you've been up to, Ghost Pirate Perona?

That's... how much do you eat at a time?

Yes, I'm sure they'll get presents too.

[Head ruffle.] Anything other than books?

So I can get a better look at the Santa suit? I'll pass.

When I cook for myself? Usually... 7 helpings?

How long between meals?!

Umm... Not counting snacks? ... Or in between meals? ... a few hours?

That's some crazy metabolism.

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[Video] / Action // Holiday Cheer?

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