justicereigns | [Video] / Action // Holiday Cheer?

[LOOK EVERYONE! It's Santa! OMG I KNOW THAT GUY!!!!]

[Wait. What is he doing in Luceti? And why is he smoking two cigars? Surely that is setting a very bad example for the kids! And dang, don't those scars look a little familiar? Along with the scowling face? Why yes! It's Smoker! Back from his kidnapping! He clears his throat gruffly and... wait for it.... wait for it....]

[Why yes! That is Smoker, dressed as Santa, caroling. It's a holiday miracle!]

Have a holly jolly Christmas....

[He sounds like someone just killed his pet. Dear god, that's about as far from "holly jolly as you can get!]

It's the best time of the year.
I don't care if there'll be snow.
I just want a rum and beer.

[... Um. We're experiencing some technical difficulties, as a green little elf hand stops the journal transmission. After a few seconds he comes back and TRIES to be a little more cheerful...ish.]

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street... [He twitches. Can he do it? Can he keep up this masquerade of holiday spirits and Santa Claus holly jolly warmth?!]
Say hello to --

No. That's it. I'm done. Keep your damn rum cookies you tyrant! I'm out of here.

[And he storms out, shutting off his journal to take it with him.

[Action:]

[If anyone wants to find him, he's skipping teaching lessons today and just bumming around the bar instead. Still stuck in his Santa costume. It doesn't come off. And thus his immense frustration. Besides Chun-Li already mentioned covering them so fuck it. Time for booze. Also, if no one stops him, he'll be lighting up his cigars with a cigar menorah. Yes. A cigar menorah. Too bad no matter how he tries he can't seem to pry the cigars out of there. Oh... and he does try. At least they keep smoking and smelling vaguely pine like! Awww how festive.]

God damn it! These cigars don't even taste like cigars! I might as well just be eating candy canes!! [Gives up and stubs them out, slumping his head into the bar. Being Smoker is suffering. Not to mention... what the hell is in that sack he's got anyway?]

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Yes... it's been that way as long as I can remember.

How do you even survive?

... With great difficulty.

Dancing sugar plum fairies....

[Yeah. His swears are being Holiday-ified.]

That's terrible. I'll see if I can sneak you some extra food for Christmas at least.

[Ilyana will just think he normally censors himself like that, and will get to be pleasantly surprised when she meets Smoker after all this is over.]

Thank you Santa Claus... I'm sorry if I had thought terrible things about you when I first heard of you. It was all just a bit of... miscommunication.

You thought terrible things when you heard of me?

[Whut.]

Well... I was told you watch people in their sleep... and you keep a list of naughty people... among... other things.

[Drags a palm down his face and goes up to the rooftop of the building.]

It's so that kids won't cause so much trouble on their parents. Are you sure you still want me to come through the chimney?

No, so you can see how creepy your face is right now.

The suit doesn't look all that bad actually. Just get a few reindeer and you'll be all set.

Oh... I see... As I said, it was a bit of miscommunication.

... That's part of the tradition isn't it?

Yes, but it's also traditional for it to be on Christmas Eve and for you to be asleep.

Oh...

[Now she just looks sad.]

... Just this once?

Also pass on that, I don't need flying reindeer to get on a rooftop anyway.

All right, all right. But close your eyes for a little bit.

[Let's see. Which chimney does this even go to? Hopefully he's got the right one. And down he goes in smoke, taking the candy canes with him.]

Ho ho ho. [Lands perfectly as Smoker \o/ Although he's still in the Santa suit, of course.]

Santa!

[You get hugs now Smoker... and maybe Ilyana secretly filching some of your candy canes. I mean what? No... she's trying to be good this year ;;]

Er, wait, you mean you're actually gonna try and deliver presents?

[Why else would he be on rooftops? He doesn't seem like a burglar.]

I still get some memories from it sometimes.

[She shrugs]

Yea, I guess I've been lucky. So far. [She knocks on a doorframe]

Knock on wood, I guess.

[Wow Ilyana, no, stealing is VERY naughty, but he'll pretend not to notice and reach into his bag to hand her a couple handfuls. It's not like he's going to eat them anyway.]

Ho ho ho... and merry Christmas....

[Trying for a voice here.]

Mostly it was like a dream to me. Faded too quickly to be useful, unfortunately. What world did you end up in?

Yea, it's kinda dreamy for me too, nothing too useful.

[Another shrug]

Yours, actually.

What really? With a pirate?

Marco. Yea.

[Holds up a hand and blocks both his ears childishly.]

I don't want to know.

[Very obviously definitely not Santa. Santa isn't quite so abrasive and irritating. Santa's supposedly a caring, good soul who's rather adorable in what picture-books and stories Perona's seen. Very much unlike this gruff savage of a man before her, accusing her, again.

~~Gettin' real tired of yo shit, Smoker.~~]

I haven't gotten into any mischief at all! [Today.] That's quite an accusation, Santa, and I think you need to check your so-called list again! Because for your information, I'm trying to find a very special gift for a--...someone I know.

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