justicereigns | [Video] / Action // Holiday Cheer?

[LOOK EVERYONE! It's Santa! OMG I KNOW THAT GUY!!!!]

[Wait. What is he doing in Luceti? And why is he smoking two cigars? Surely that is setting a very bad example for the kids! And dang, don't those scars look a little familiar? Along with the scowling face? Why yes! It's Smoker! Back from his kidnapping! He clears his throat gruffly and... wait for it.... wait for it....]

[Why yes! That is Smoker, dressed as Santa, caroling. It's a holiday miracle!]

Have a holly jolly Christmas....

[He sounds like someone just killed his pet. Dear god, that's about as far from "holly jolly as you can get!]

It's the best time of the year.
I don't care if there'll be snow.
I just want a rum and beer.

[... Um. We're experiencing some technical difficulties, as a green little elf hand stops the journal transmission. After a few seconds he comes back and TRIES to be a little more cheerful...ish.]

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street... [He twitches. Can he do it? Can he keep up this masquerade of holiday spirits and Santa Claus holly jolly warmth?!]
Say hello to --

No. That's it. I'm done. Keep your damn rum cookies you tyrant! I'm out of here.

[And he storms out, shutting off his journal to take it with him.

[Action:]

[If anyone wants to find him, he's skipping teaching lessons today and just bumming around the bar instead. Still stuck in his Santa costume. It doesn't come off. And thus his immense frustration. Besides Chun-Li already mentioned covering them so fuck it. Time for booze. Also, if no one stops him, he'll be lighting up his cigars with a cigar menorah. Yes. A cigar menorah. Too bad no matter how he tries he can't seem to pry the cigars out of there. Oh... and he does try. At least they keep smoking and smelling vaguely pine like! Awww how festive.]

God damn it! These cigars don't even taste like cigars! I might as well just be eating candy canes!! [Gives up and stubs them out, slumping his head into the bar. Being Smoker is suffering. Not to mention... what the hell is in that sack he's got anyway?]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

How sweet. Did any other kids ask you to do that?

[Maybe he could watch; it'd probably be pretty funny.]

My pleasure kid, don't forget to leave out milk and cookies.

[Salutes.]

It wasn't horrible. I've heard worse.

[ Lee probably had one off key moment in his life, as has Guy-sensei and probably the rest of the ninja cast. As if they sing for a living! ]

Are the elves done harassing you?

[Smoker, Perona would kick you so hard in the head/face/pants if she could pull her feet from the floor right now, but alas. Another day, perhaps. She's still struggling to free herself from where she's standing - way too close to the marine for comfort - and blinks only momentarily at his ridiculously censored way of speech. Pfft--

But her giggle isn't the one Perona hears. Oooh, no. It's her little elf's girlish giggle that she hears, and Perona follows the tiny creature's line of sight allll the way up to the mistletoe hanging over her and Smoker's heads.]

[Oh, mistletoe.]

[MISTLETOE.]

[With SMOKER.]

[HAJDHCVKDHFJFNNDKDLCS SCREEEEEEE--]

AAAAAIIIEEYYAAAH! No! No, I won't! There's no way you can make me do such a disgusting thing! I'd rather bite my tongue and bleed to death! I-I will! [STRUGGLING SO HARD, SOB. And looking at her elf like this is your fault, I will destroy you.] I'll bite my tongue! I'd rather die than kiss that pitiful excuse for a chimney! I don't want to, l-let me go! Let me go right now, I won't do it! I'll kill myself first! I'll kill myself!

[Aang salutes back, proudly.]

I won't, Mr. Santa! I promise! What's your favorite?

[If she did steal any... which she totally didn't... but if she did, she's guiltily putting them back now that Santa has given her a couple handfuls rather than just two.]

Th-thank you Mr. Claus!

Anything. [He can't say rum cookies to a kid jeez....] Chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin I guess. Go crazy.

Anytime. Besides I assume this is all part of the curse. Who the fantastic faerie lights knows what might happen next if I try to fight it.

[THINGS LIKE SAYING WEIRD STUFF LIKE THAT!]

Hm. Sounds like a good man.

Maybe I can see what you have in common with that dreidel-ing lot after all.

Probably getting a rounder belly for one.

I doubt it. I keep getting warnings about being on the naughty list. Like my name isn't permanently written on there anyway.

No. Thank the angels we have heard on high.

[Giant sweatdrop. Not being able to swear is taking a damage on his vocabulary.]

I'm sure with you around to keep them company they won't be sad over the holidays at all, Kotomi-chan.

Just call me Santa... I guess.

Merry Christmas.

Ho ho ho.

Good. I'm glad we're in agreement that dying is preferable to being free.

[Sarcasm, or serious? It actually doesn't matter, because Smoker just folds his arms. He will sit here until he dies if he has to.]

Tch... Not you too.

I'm not getting fat. Santa or not.

Well I hope not. You're already big enough as it is!

[Sorry Smoker he's teasing now.]

Hey! Snowman you!

[That would make more sense if he could swear, honestly.]

I just mean you're really tall and really bulky.

I will! Just for you, Santa, I'll go all the crazy with cookies! I won't disappoint you.

[Sadly for the two of them, such a thing as sitting in place and waiting out the effects isn't exactly an option. Well, it is, of course, but fighting off that horrific, insatiable urge is not going to be easy. At least not for very long, after the counteragent of pure disgust and terror wears off. Oh, and the two elves who're just watching the marine and pirate.

Expectantly.

Waiting.

Oh fuck my life, please, someone else, ANYONE ELSE BUT HIM.]

Edited (i think my < key is jammed. B| ) 2012-12-29 13:00 (UTC)

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