justicereigns | [Video] / Action // Holiday Cheer?

[LOOK EVERYONE! It's Santa! OMG I KNOW THAT GUY!!!!]

[Wait. What is he doing in Luceti? And why is he smoking two cigars? Surely that is setting a very bad example for the kids! And dang, don't those scars look a little familiar? Along with the scowling face? Why yes! It's Smoker! Back from his kidnapping! He clears his throat gruffly and... wait for it.... wait for it....]

[Why yes! That is Smoker, dressed as Santa, caroling. It's a holiday miracle!]

Have a holly jolly Christmas....

[He sounds like someone just killed his pet. Dear god, that's about as far from "holly jolly as you can get!]

It's the best time of the year.
I don't care if there'll be snow.
I just want a rum and beer.

[... Um. We're experiencing some technical difficulties, as a green little elf hand stops the journal transmission. After a few seconds he comes back and TRIES to be a little more cheerful...ish.]

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street... [He twitches. Can he do it? Can he keep up this masquerade of holiday spirits and Santa Claus holly jolly warmth?!]
Say hello to --

No. That's it. I'm done. Keep your damn rum cookies you tyrant! I'm out of here.

[And he storms out, shutting off his journal to take it with him.

[Action:]

[If anyone wants to find him, he's skipping teaching lessons today and just bumming around the bar instead. Still stuck in his Santa costume. It doesn't come off. And thus his immense frustration. Besides Chun-Li already mentioned covering them so fuck it. Time for booze. Also, if no one stops him, he'll be lighting up his cigars with a cigar menorah. Yes. A cigar menorah. Too bad no matter how he tries he can't seem to pry the cigars out of there. Oh... and he does try. At least they keep smoking and smelling vaguely pine like! Awww how festive.]

God damn it! These cigars don't even taste like cigars! I might as well just be eating candy canes!! [Gives up and stubs them out, slumping his head into the bar. Being Smoker is suffering. Not to mention... what the hell is in that sack he's got anyway?]

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[By now, Aang's learned enough to know what Santa looks like. So he runs towards him through the snow with childish glee, with a small elf struggling to keep up with him.]

Santa! Santa!

[Mentally keysmashes. Fuck his life, Fuck his life, Fuck his life.]

[Still, it's a kid! And Smoker does love kids. Even, or maybe especially? the kind that actually save the world instead of trying to, you know... accidentally destroy it. So Aang gets a little bit of a forced grin, and Smoker switches out the foul cigars for an actual candy cane. They taste the same anyway.]

Yeah? Aang right? Hope you're being good this year. [Small, actually genuine grin. Okay maybe a LITTLE bit of Christmas spirit isn't all bad. Even if he would prefer spirits as in booze, not spirit as in cheer.]

[He comes to a stop and beams. Wow, he really does know my name.]

Yeah! I have been! I've been really really good! Just ask Mordecai, I've been doing everything he says!

[He motions to the elf by his side, who gives a nod, but he's also giving Smoker an appraising stare. He just might know the real deal when he sees it.]

[O-oh. That beam. Ugh. Maybe he should have been nicer to his own elf, but seriously. He didn't exactly ask to be stuck in this role!]

[He pats Aang's head with a gloved hand, just like in the stories and gives a small grin "shh" to the elf.]

Good, that's great. [Grins and hands Aang a pair of candy canes. You eat them two at a time. Just like Santa is. Because it's cooler that way. :|] Here. Just to tie you over to Christmas Eve. And I'm sure you'll be seeing something from me then. Ho ho ho.

[Wait...what? Cross is just....staring. Unsure how to react to this. But there were kids right? So maybe just go along with Smoker's charade for now.]

Um...oh wow, Santa! You got a really...interesting song there!

[Horrible lying is horrid.]

[Dude, don't make him flip you off.]

[Okay. Deep breath for Smoker and he just huffs and waves.] Yeah, whatever. Let the elves finish it if they're so damn keen on it.

Edited 2012-12-21 00:23 (UTC)

Oh you mean those little guys asking people to do stuff? I dunno. I think that's against the rules.

[Cross when were there rules to this?]

I don't really give a fu-- [Twitches and is forced to censor that.] Furry reindeer's antler about the rules.

[SCOWLS FOREVER.]

Than why are you dressing up like that? I'm pretty sure this is all optional.

Edited 2012-12-21 00:49 (UTC)

You'd be wrong.

I just got back from a kidnapping. Stuffed in this thing. And it doesn't come off.

[He tugs at the hat in demonstration, and it appears as stuck on him as his very real scruff.]

At least the buttons come undone. I can't breathe in shirt.

They...kidnapped you?! And they thought it'd be a fun idea to stick you in clothes that don't come off. Creepy.

Are you sure you can't like...cut it off?

I tried that with the bear costume they did one year.

If I can't get out using my da-- [Grinds teeth on cigars] dreidel [Seriously this curse is killing him.] devil fruit, I can't get out with anything.

And I think the effect is getting worse. [Drags a palm down his face.] At this rate I'm going to wake up tomorrow covered in little blinking colored lights.

Hey...Santa.

[snerk.]

Good to see you're back.

Bear costume?

[Probably a story for another time.]

Hoh boy, that sounds rough.

Um well, I guess there's nothing I can do to help. If there is though, let me know.

Yeah, that was for Halloween. But another time I got stuck dressed as... someone else. [He's not going to say Luffy, and you can't make him.] And my jitte and cuffs kept chasing me. [Twitch.]

Hn. Thanks. For now, I think I'll settle for getting drunk and trying to get the candy cane taste out of my mouth.

I wonder if that standing chandelier's cigars come off... [Eyes them.]

[Grunts.]

Lessons are still cancelled until after Christmas apparently. Thanks for covering for me.

Well, I've had a few people come to the dome for work. But if you're not feeling up to it that's fine, Santa.

I'd rather not have my students seeing me like this.

While I don't think Ikki and Sabo would mind, I'm not sure that's much better.

[Not to mention he might crush them with what a terrible Santa he is!! He doesn't want that on his conscience!]

For you, or them, big guy?

[Perona's been more or less frequenting the bar as of late, though she's always been keeping to herself and out of sight. She's well-aware the bar's one of Mihawk's hangouts and she's not really...ready to face him just yet. Not when he's a.) sober, or b.) without a really good brand of wine to gift him in apology. This time, however, as she travels, Perona's followed around by her own little elf of the female variety, who's muttering gift ideas and at the same time preaching that "alcohol really isn't a very good gift at all! Can't you think of anything else he'll like? ...Eggnog! Everyone likes eggnog!"

Rolling her eyes in aggravation, Perona continues to browse the wall at the bar and ask the bartender on duty for a list of what they have for wines available - something classy, expensive...a damn good year, too. Something that'd probably range into the thousands if you're talking berri...maybe more.

But then she sees Smoker and practically spits the wine she was sampling all over her little elf. WHAT. WHAT?!]

HOROHOROHOROHOROHORO!!

[Shrugs and spreads his hands.]

I'm more worried about them. Maybe I'm getting desensitized to the shifts... unless I just cursed myself into making it worse now. [Twitch.]

[Glances up.... rolls his eyes.]

Oh. It's you.

[Could be worse; his attitude suggests. If not by much. His own elf is trying to get him to switch from rum to peppermint schnapps. Guess how well that's going over.]

Maybe you are. This...happen before?

Not a Santa suit, no.

But once for Halloween I was stuck in a bear costume I couldn't escape... and another time... as someone else. And my jitte and handcuffs chased me back then.

[Rubs his chin.] Though at this rate I wouldn't be surprised to wake up wrapped in tinsel and little colored blinking lights.

Sounds...like a good time.

[Now THERE is an awesome mental image]

I want to see that, Smoker. I'm sure it'd make quite a show.

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