I'll get it in time, right? As long as I just go with it, and live, I'll be okay. [He sighs, life really is weird. And it got a lot weirder post-mortem.] Hey. Do you think... [He pauses to watch the dogs for a moment, they're a great distraction.] Do you think I really died? Because I still have my fire.
[Stuff like this is why Ace makes Smoker think too. In new ways. Different angles. And try things differently.]
[Maybe it's l-- that l word Namur used.]
[Maybe it's just that Portgas is a pain in the ass.]
[Either way, Smoker moves to actually give Ace a hug. In as much as Smoker hugs, which is not much, even for Adela -- though she HAS gotten hugs from him.]
Yeah, kid. I'm sorry. You died. [DOESN'T LET GO THE HUG THOUGH. But he hasn't lied to Ace yet, and he won't start now.] I don't know what this place is. There've been demons, gods, demigods, angels, whatever the fuck Frieza was -- I think someone told me and I forgot. A lot of dead revived. You can even die here and get revived. Adela lost her leg because an asshole thought it would be worse than just killing her here. Leave more impact. Even when it meant forgetting me, I'm pretty glad she forgot that. Hell, maybe just never lived it. There's some people here all one name, the Doctor, and they're all the same person just through different centuries. I don't know why I've been here so long. I don't know why people come or go. It doesn't make any sense to me.
But this is it. Here. Now. The future. Don't waste it.
And talk to Rip. She's died four times, and been to four worlds. And it took her a lot to get it right, she said.
Yeah, I remember taking a hit that no one could have survived. [It's still so surreal to him, though. He doesn't feel dead, even if the trauma is there, even if he remembers the pain so acutely that he wakes up in agony only to touch an unmarked chest, even if he knows it's so far away at the same time that it's messing with him.] It's just messed up, I shouldn't have my flames, and I shouldn't be alive, and this place is a pain. But I like it. I'm not gonna mess up this round, and I mean it. It's just messing with my mind that this is even happening.
[Laughs softly.] Yeah, fuck. I didn't even remember dying, but at first I thought I must have, everything was so crazy. Sometimes I still think this is purgatory or... something.
But it's too normal for that.
They say we're here to demonstrate life. Isn't that weird? I guess less weird for you. But why the fuck would anyone want me to demonstrate anything other than how to punch things and get in trouble?
You're handling it better than the rest of us did. Believe it or not.
[There's a quiet moment then, and Ace speaks in a surprisingly soft voice for him.] I dunno. You're pretty good at a lot more than punching things and getting into trouble. [He's good at making Ace feel safe and alive, and giving him a wild point of stability in a place of chaos.] I do my best. [He shrugs, and then winces as his hand gets licked. Didn't expect that.]
[Tugs him into a gruffer hug and gently noogies.] Now you're just telling yourself that.
And you are, brat.
If I was a hundredth as good with others as you, I'd actually be Guardian, for starters. And I wouldn't have shrugged off the world for a few months to let it all pass me by.
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[Maybe it's l-- that l word Namur used.]
[Maybe it's just that Portgas is a pain in the ass.]
[Either way, Smoker moves to actually give Ace a hug. In as much as Smoker hugs, which is not much, even for Adela -- though she HAS gotten hugs from him.]
Yeah, kid. I'm sorry. You died. [DOESN'T LET GO THE HUG THOUGH. But he hasn't lied to Ace yet, and he won't start now.] I don't know what this place is. There've been demons, gods, demigods, angels, whatever the fuck Frieza was -- I think someone told me and I forgot. A lot of dead revived. You can even die here and get revived. Adela lost her leg because an asshole thought it would be worse than just killing her here. Leave more impact. Even when it meant forgetting me, I'm pretty glad she forgot that. Hell, maybe just never lived it. There's some people here all one name, the Doctor, and they're all the same person just through different centuries. I don't know why I've been here so long. I don't know why people come or go. It doesn't make any sense to me.
But this is it. Here. Now. The future. Don't waste it.
And talk to Rip. She's died four times, and been to four worlds. And it took her a lot to get it right, she said.
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But it's too normal for that.
They say we're here to demonstrate life. Isn't that weird? I guess less weird for you. But why the fuck would anyone want me to demonstrate anything other than how to punch things and get in trouble?
You're handling it better than the rest of us did. Believe it or not.
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And you are, brat.
If I was a hundredth as good with others as you, I'd actually be Guardian, for starters. And I wouldn't have shrugged off the world for a few months to let it all pass me by.