[Okay, he is a grown ass adult. He can fucking handle this.]
[Although he protectively cuddles the hell out of Ace.]
[And snorts quietly. And gives more kisses.] Portgas, I'm not going to stop fucking you, no matter what you do. I already tried a dozen times. I'm giving up that fight. You win. I'm yours.
Guidance and strength....
All right. Come here, Portgas.
[PICKS HIM UP IN A GIANT SMOKER CLOUD OF CUDDLES until he figures out a position to hold Ace, his lover, just right.]
Nothing you say, nothing you do, will ever make me stop wanting to fucking you. It might make me worry. About you. Got it? [Pets Ace's hair and kisses the top of his head.] I told you, half of your family worried you were only with me to punish yourself. Sometimes even I wondered.
[Pet.]
[CUDDLE HUG!!!]
[FIERCEST HUG.]
I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone. Not any other version of you, not Kuzan, not a damn soul.
I saw Roger's execution -- that's well known. What isn't... I became a marine, to try to best him too.
When I said you're my only equal, I mean it. [Serious eyes on Ace's. Waiting for a glimmer of understanding sinking in.] I figured it out. A while ago. Only here. But I knew you wanted to best him too. And part of why Straw Hat has to be King for you. [Ruffles Ace's hair and holds him close, his heart to Ace's head. Giant fluffy cuddly hug.] Your words influencing me to take up G5 and lead them... and letting them be so much like you personally... you did more than him. More than Roger.
[Ruffles Ace's hair.] People talk a lot about the things he did, but you didn't leave people behind. You moved them forward. Do you understand?
[Snuggles his Ace.]
I don't think of him as your father. You made it very clear Whitebeard is your only father. And you fought to make that clear. And the world sees you a lot more as a son of Whitebeard than anything else.
And Portgas?
[Kisses his forehead.] I'm glad you were born. And yeah, I'm pretty shit at showing it, but I'm grateful you barreled into my life even worse than your younger brother and fucked it all up for me. Okay? [Messes his full hand in Ace's hair.] You deserve better than you give yourself credit for.
I meant it though. You could call me almost anything and it'll turn me on. It's a problem. Damn good thing I don't have to pretend respectability. And good thing I'm not a Guardian. Getting a hard-on every time you text me would be a problem. [Half joking, half serious, 100% trying to cheer Ace up.]
You don't have to fight the past anymore. All right? [Kisses his forehead!] Or the world. Or me. Do what you want. Within reason. [Snort and leans his head on Ace.] You mean more to me than I thought anything ever could. I want to hate it... but I can't. If it's you... it's just part of my world getting a little bigger. And better. A lot better.
Ace trembles at that, swallowing hard as if he could push down all of that emotion, and then it's over. He can't hold back and he really does cry against Smoker. He believes him, he's so grateful and it's stupid to be losing his head over this like a dumb kid but he can't help it. It's one thing for family to love him, to feel like he was worth the trouble and pain, but this is Smoker. His lover. Who was once his enemy. And he's got even less reason to feel that way about him, and it makes him almost angry. He doesn't feel worthy. And his world is twisting and shaking up and everything is too much right now.]
[Just cuddles him and lays on his back with Ace on top like Ace is a giant cat and gently strokes his hair.]
[It's only understandable. All of it. He shouldn't have been banned from existence. It wasn't Ace's birth that was wrong, it was the world. And as frustrating as it is for Smoker to have to rethink and analyze and CHANGE HIS MIND and how he deals with life and always more and more complicated... it's still better.]
[His Ace.]
[Smoker gently kisses the top of Ace's head and lets him keep crying, still petting.]
[Also the VERY MOST MESSED UP part of Smoker kind of feels like this is only RIGHT. Ace turned Smoker's world on its head, Smoker was messing up Ace's. For once. Payback. Equals.]
[And Ace just cries it out, disgusting and unattractive and he doesn't care that he looks like a mess. Because he held this back from everyone, even Marco didn't get the full brunt of his pain. And Marco now functions as a father figure, somehow. And once it's all out, petted and held and kept close, he punches the bed a few times angrily, and grabs at his abandoned shorts to use to wipe his face on.] See, this is your fault. You make me think too much. [He sighs.] Any more stupid serious that needs to be covered, daddy?
[His eyes are closed though because, this is again, shit he's never told a god damn soul. Even any other Ace. But if Ace finds out later...]
I like Roger. I think he knew a lot more about the world than anyone gives him credit for. I've only ever done things with full conviction, and when I don't have that, is when I hesitate.
"Inherited Will, The Destiny of the Age, and The Dreams of the People. As long as people continue to pursue the meaning of Freedom, these things will never cease to be."
[Smoker just blushes HEAD TO TOE. And looks up at the ceiling.]
[Final thing. He can do this. Maybe.]
[His voice is SO QUIET though.]
Roger gave me conviction. You taught me how to live. [Shoves Ace's face with one hand. It's such an easy word. Come on. ONE VOWEL CHANGE BARELY DIFFERENT.] I wouldn't have Adela without you. Or the dogs. Or G-5. Or Faye. Or Augustine. And this you or not...
[Lets go of Ace's face and looks at him. Dying to figure out the right words.]
[Need. Want. Adore.]
[FUCK HE IS SO RED.]
[Don't look at him!]
I wouldn't be me if not for you. [Is that love? It's not... NOT love right? Even if it feels more ridiculous and expansive like he said before. Ace set Smoker's entire life on fire and wrote his name in the ashes.]
[At first as Ace listens, he's so uncomfortable. He's not happy with the idea that there might be some hero worship pushed onto him, that he might be a remnant of a fantasy that couldn't be fulfilled. Hell, maybe Smoker has some daddy issues. It's all unpleasant and stressful and he hates it. He hates that the man who fathered him is still fucking things up for him two deaths and a world away.]
[And then his heart is pounding again and he's pink cheeked and so happy, he's absolutely in love and he doesn't care if he's rushed all of this. This is what he wants and he knows that Smoker cares and that's good enough. He affected him so much, without even trying, and he leans in and kisses Smoker. A passionate, loving, sweet kiss with both hands on Smoker's face, keeping him close. Because he doesn't care what anyone says, he loves him, and he'll do almost anything to make him happy.
Even if it means not punching him for bringing up Gol D. Roger in bed.]
[He finally pulls away from the kiss, keeping his face close.] Okay. Got it. But you gotta fuck me again now. You kinda ruined things with all that dumb stuff, and I want tonight to end on a great note.
I-[This is hard, because he doesn't know how, and he was tempted to just slide Smoker inside of him after working him up a little when he was on top earlier. But he also likes the idea of being on all fours for him, there's something that just seems dirty about that.] Either I wanna ride you, or I want you to get me so I'm on my hands and knees. You pick one of those, because they both sound damn good.
[He's a brat, but he's Smoker's brat. And he's absolutely happy with that.]
[Closes his eyes and visualizes both. Shit. They're both REALLY good. Both. All. Cowboy. And literally like that, Smoker's hard again, which doesn't surprise him in the least, because if Ace wanted to get him hard, Smoker doubts he could control his body to prevent it even on penalty of death.]
Fuck.
[Growls, kisses, and bites, sucking on Ace's bottom lip with a tug, sitting up and squashing out cigars.]
Ride my lap. But you're going to face me this time. In the future, I want your back so I can kiss your tattoo and freckles to my heart's content, but this time, I need to see your face. And have you watch mine.
[That is a power trip all over again. Ace is addicted to being able to get Smoker to respond so quickly, so strongly to him. And he runs his hands down Smoker's chest while they kiss, nails scraping gently, heating up with the threat of igniting but not actually going there.] I'm gonna look so good for you. Come on, move me. Please? [Ace honestly gets a high off of how large Smoker is, that he can just haul him around like he weighs nothing at all, and he's willing to do all the work afterwards. But for now he wants that one last feeling of having a lack of control, before he has all of it.]
[Growls and sits them both up, forcibly moving Ace's legs as he wants them, rubbing Ace's inner thighs, and kisses him bruisingly hard again.]
You make a pretty picture already, Portgas.
[... you know that thing Smoker keeps doing? WHERE HE TAKES A GOOD MOMENT AND ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS IT BECAUSE HE HAS THE EMOTIONAL CAPACITY OF LEAD THIMBLE?]
[Yeah.]
[He's gonna do that again.]
[Ready?]
[I don't think you're ready.] Good enough to hang.
[Pretty picture... That makes Ace puff up a little with pride, pretty does something for him apparently. And he runs his hand down his chest, arching, pulling hard at one of his own nipples as a show, he'll drag out those noises that effect Smoker so much.]
[And all of that anger rushes into confusion, and then a rush of love. Smoker is stupid with feelings and words, and he's hurtful when he wants to be. But dammit, he loves Ace too. Smoker loves Ace, and nothing feels as good as that right now. He's been acknowledged as good enough in bed, in public, in affection, and now the words are the sweetest confirmation. So he presses into the kiss, tongue pressing into Smoker's mouth, and it's as fiery and hot as the flames coming off of his shoulders and back are.
He's hyped up on love, on lust, on anger and raw emotions. And he breaks from the kiss, breathing hard.] I'm yours. Don't break me to quick, huh?
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[Okay, he is a grown ass adult. He can fucking handle this.]
[Although he protectively cuddles the hell out of Ace.]
[And snorts quietly. And gives more kisses.] Portgas, I'm not going to stop fucking you, no matter what you do. I already tried a dozen times. I'm giving up that fight. You win. I'm yours.
Guidance and strength....
All right. Come here, Portgas.
[PICKS HIM UP IN A GIANT SMOKER CLOUD OF CUDDLES until he figures out a position to hold Ace, his lover, just right.]
Nothing you say, nothing you do, will ever make me stop wanting to fucking you. It might make me worry. About you. Got it? [Pets Ace's hair and kisses the top of his head.] I told you, half of your family worried you were only with me to punish yourself. Sometimes even I wondered.
[Pet.]
[CUDDLE HUG!!!]
[FIERCEST HUG.]
I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone. Not any other version of you, not Kuzan, not a damn soul.
I saw Roger's execution -- that's well known. What isn't... I became a marine, to try to best him too.
When I said you're my only equal, I mean it. [Serious eyes on Ace's. Waiting for a glimmer of understanding sinking in.] I figured it out. A while ago. Only here. But I knew you wanted to best him too. And part of why Straw Hat has to be King for you. [Ruffles Ace's hair and holds him close, his heart to Ace's head. Giant fluffy cuddly hug.] Your words influencing me to take up G5 and lead them... and letting them be so much like you personally... you did more than him. More than Roger.
[Ruffles Ace's hair.] People talk a lot about the things he did, but you didn't leave people behind. You moved them forward. Do you understand?
[Snuggles his Ace.]
I don't think of him as your father. You made it very clear Whitebeard is your only father. And you fought to make that clear. And the world sees you a lot more as a son of Whitebeard than anything else.
And Portgas?
[Kisses his forehead.] I'm glad you were born. And yeah, I'm pretty shit at showing it, but I'm grateful you barreled into my life even worse than your younger brother and fucked it all up for me. Okay? [Messes his full hand in Ace's hair.] You deserve better than you give yourself credit for.
I meant it though. You could call me almost anything and it'll turn me on. It's a problem. Damn good thing I don't have to pretend respectability. And good thing I'm not a Guardian. Getting a hard-on every time you text me would be a problem. [Half joking, half serious, 100% trying to cheer Ace up.]
You don't have to fight the past anymore. All right? [Kisses his forehead!] Or the world. Or me. Do what you want. Within reason. [Snort and leans his head on Ace.] You mean more to me than I thought anything ever could. I want to hate it... but I can't. If it's you... it's just part of my world getting a little bigger. And better. A lot better.
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Ace trembles at that, swallowing hard as if he could push down all of that emotion, and then it's over. He can't hold back and he really does cry against Smoker. He believes him, he's so grateful and it's stupid to be losing his head over this like a dumb kid but he can't help it. It's one thing for family to love him, to feel like he was worth the trouble and pain, but this is Smoker. His lover. Who was once his enemy. And he's got even less reason to feel that way about him, and it makes him almost angry. He doesn't feel worthy. And his world is twisting and shaking up and everything is too much right now.]
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[It's only understandable. All of it. He shouldn't have been banned from existence. It wasn't Ace's birth that was wrong, it was the world. And as frustrating as it is for Smoker to have to rethink and analyze and CHANGE HIS MIND and how he deals with life and always more and more complicated... it's still better.]
[His Ace.]
[Smoker gently kisses the top of Ace's head and lets him keep crying, still petting.]
[Also the VERY MOST MESSED UP part of Smoker kind of feels like this is only RIGHT. Ace turned Smoker's world on its head, Smoker was messing up Ace's. For once. Payback. Equals.]
[All the pets.]
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You'll punch me, but it might be worth it.
How are you feeling, Ace? [Twice! See? Twice. He's getting better at this. Maybe.]
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I didn't punch you for what you said earlier, so what could you bring up that'd make me do it now?
[He shakes his head.] I'm okay. Messed up a little, but my head's clearing. [Might be a little pink in the cheeks at hearing his name said.]
1/4
[READY?]
[His eyes are closed though because, this is again, shit he's never told a god damn soul. Even any other Ace. But if Ace finds out later...]
I like Roger. I think he knew a lot more about the world than anyone gives him credit for. I've only ever done things with full conviction, and when I don't have that, is when I hesitate.
2/4
I live by that, Portgas.
3/4
[He'll figure it out. Fuck you, he will.]
You're your own man, Portgas.
And a son of Whitebeard more than anything else.
done
[Guidance. Strength. Whitebeard. Roger. Daddy. Adela. Portgas. Love.]
[Fuck.]
[Smoker just blushes HEAD TO TOE. And looks up at the ceiling.]
[Final thing. He can do this. Maybe.]
[His voice is SO QUIET though.]
Roger gave me conviction. You taught me how to live. [Shoves Ace's face with one hand. It's such an easy word. Come on. ONE VOWEL CHANGE BARELY DIFFERENT.] I wouldn't have Adela without you. Or the dogs. Or G-5. Or Faye. Or Augustine. And this you or not...
[Lets go of Ace's face and looks at him. Dying to figure out the right words.]
[Need. Want. Adore.]
[FUCK HE IS SO RED.]
[Don't look at him!]
I wouldn't be me if not for you. [Is that love? It's not... NOT love right? Even if it feels more ridiculous and expansive like he said before. Ace set Smoker's entire life on fire and wrote his name in the ashes.]
1/3
2/3
Even if it means not punching him for bringing up Gol D. Roger in bed.]
Done
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[He's surprised, but HARDLY complaining!]
[And then at the last part...]
[Just laughs.]
Okay. How do you want it?
Brat.
[He meant Ace. >:T He needs to try harder.]
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[He's a brat, but he's Smoker's brat. And he's absolutely happy with that.]
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Fuck.
[Growls, kisses, and bites, sucking on Ace's bottom lip with a tug, sitting up and squashing out cigars.]
Ride my lap. But you're going to face me this time. In the future, I want your back so I can kiss your tattoo and freckles to my heart's content, but this time, I need to see your face. And have you watch mine.
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You make a pretty picture already, Portgas.
[... you know that thing Smoker keeps doing? WHERE HE TAKES A GOOD MOMENT AND ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS IT BECAUSE HE HAS THE EMOTIONAL CAPACITY OF LEAD THIMBLE?]
[Yeah.]
[He's gonna do that again.]
[Ready?]
[I don't think you're ready.] Good enough to hang.
[HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PUT UP WITH HIM?]
1/?????????? Smoker pls
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Done
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[He DID mean to let Ace end things on a good note since Ace really needed it.]
[It was kind of fucking hilarious though. And this is Smoker's fucked up payback for his own emotional shortcomings.]
[THIS RIGHT HERE is why Hina does not put up with Smoker very long.]
[A billion asshole retorts, "What are you gonna do about it?" leap to mind.]
[But he actually gives a fuck about Ace and...]
[Pulls Ace forward by the beaded necklace despite, or maybe because of the temper.]
[And whispers in his ear.]
I love you, idiot.
[And kisses, no matter how fucking furious Ace is.]
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He's hyped up on love, on lust, on anger and raw emotions. And he breaks from the kiss, breathing hard.] I'm yours. Don't break me to quick, huh?
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