justicereigns | (no subject)

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New bounties will be out soon. That means more paperwork to deal with.

Great.

On the brighter side, I'm sure there'll be a lot of disappointed pirates out there, which warms my shrivelled heart.

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That's what makes me curious. I've always thought so but it's hard being the only one as I'm sure you know.

Oh? Who else?

I'm just special like that. Or 'weird', apparently.

They don't usually say it in front of me. But my crew supposedly regard it as 'widely-accepted fact'.

You've been spending too much time with Ace if you're calling yourself weird now. I'd like to remind you that not only is he a bit of an idiot, the man talks to fireflies. How is that not weird?

I can see why. But from what I saw awhile back they seem very loyal to you so it must be a relatively good thing.

Only repeating him - I don't think I'm weird.
I'd call it 'interestingly stupid'.

They're reasonably intelligent.

Uh-huh. Still spending too much time with him but whatevermakes you happy. And I believe the Princess Vivi had the right assessment when she said he must be able to talk to them because his brain was on their level.

That's officially the highest compliment I've ever heard you give anyone.

It doesn't make me happy. And he can talk to them because he's an insect himself.

You have tolerable hygiene.

Then you should almost definitely take a break. You don't have to make yourself miserable. Have a drink or something jeez. And I wouldn't say he's an insect. Just an idiot.

....

Yeah. Things like that are why. :|

I didn't say he made me miserable, either.
He is that.

Sarcasm, woman. Sarcasm.

Just something to do?

I'm aware Captain. That's why. :P

I suppose he's mildly entertaining.

Your hair isn't entirely similar to a rats nest.

Because of his idiocies?

... Gosh you just must get so much action from the ladies.

However did you guess?

Should I commend your self-preservation on developing a chest that can double as a flotation device?

...

I was going to ask if you wanted drinks to drown out the horror that is Iva but I'm thinking you're a few ahead of me. Neverthless, on my way.

Is THAT why you called him Emil? Fuck Smoker, did you even notice it yet?

Pretty much.

Yes. A minute ago. Also, fuck.

Jeez. Are you celebrating, trying to get Ace out of your head, Litter Box out of your head, Iva the psycho out or all of the above?

...

Okay that leads me to the next question. Because you're drunk, or are you drinking because of him and... did you do it with a specific purpose in mind? Because Ace is an idiot. I think we established that. He won't pick up on it. He'll just sulk and not tell you.

All except for the Portgas one.

... Actually, it's going... better. A lot better.

Huh. Really?

So things are actually going well with him??? I think the universe must be unbalanced, even though I'm glad to hear it.

Still. Explain the Crocodile thing. You're worrying me.

Mm.

Surprisingly well, actually. And possibly so, yes.

I'll explain to you when I've figure it out myself. I hate that bastard. I just don't understand him.

Good then. ^_^ Let's just hope it doesn't come back to bite us in the ass.

Oh my god. Same here. I don't. Get him. At all. I get almost everyone but not him. It's scary.

Why 'us'? And I'm starting to think it might not.

Of course it is. It's Crocodile.

I mean in a grand sense. You. Me. The world in general. The people I don't hate. That. Oh? Why not?

.... Tch.
He just... Fucking hell. I don't think I have to explain it, you pretty much get it, right? Just how do I DEAL with him?

... Because I think we just agreed to go on a date. Or something.

I get it. I just don't get him. How the hell should I know?

Is that good? It IS what you want. A little. Right? It's not punching him through a wall but I think we both know if you do that he's not going to go in the direction you want.

Tch. I was hoping since you've had to deal with him for years now you might have tricks up your sleeve.

He just... he gets into my head, you know? He finds spots I'd think were invulnerable. Ugh.

It is what I want. It's just... sudden. Not that that's a bad thing.

In case you hadn't worked it out, he was a little less fucked in the head when I was with him. And then I cut off contact for a long time.

He's a cunning bastard. Just try not to let him see that it hurts. The trick is to keep your cool and pretend you're not bothered, so that he'll change tactics.

You could always slow it down. When is the date?

Yeah I got that. Did he shoot you? ~~Or something to that effect?~~

Thanks. ^_^ I'll do that then. I guess it'll be practice for other scary fucks if nothing else.

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