justicereigns | [Video] / Action // Holiday Cheer?

[LOOK EVERYONE! It's Santa! OMG I KNOW THAT GUY!!!!]

[Wait. What is he doing in Luceti? And why is he smoking two cigars? Surely that is setting a very bad example for the kids! And dang, don't those scars look a little familiar? Along with the scowling face? Why yes! It's Smoker! Back from his kidnapping! He clears his throat gruffly and... wait for it.... wait for it....]

[Why yes! That is Smoker, dressed as Santa, caroling. It's a holiday miracle!]

Have a holly jolly Christmas....

[He sounds like someone just killed his pet. Dear god, that's about as far from "holly jolly as you can get!]

It's the best time of the year.
I don't care if there'll be snow.
I just want a rum and beer.

[... Um. We're experiencing some technical difficulties, as a green little elf hand stops the journal transmission. After a few seconds he comes back and TRIES to be a little more cheerful...ish.]

Have a holly jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street... [He twitches. Can he do it? Can he keep up this masquerade of holiday spirits and Santa Claus holly jolly warmth?!]
Say hello to --

No. That's it. I'm done. Keep your damn rum cookies you tyrant! I'm out of here.

[And he storms out, shutting off his journal to take it with him.

[Action:]

[If anyone wants to find him, he's skipping teaching lessons today and just bumming around the bar instead. Still stuck in his Santa costume. It doesn't come off. And thus his immense frustration. Besides Chun-Li already mentioned covering them so fuck it. Time for booze. Also, if no one stops him, he'll be lighting up his cigars with a cigar menorah. Yes. A cigar menorah. Too bad no matter how he tries he can't seem to pry the cigars out of there. Oh... and he does try. At least they keep smoking and smelling vaguely pine like! Awww how festive.]

God damn it! These cigars don't even taste like cigars! I might as well just be eating candy canes!! [Gives up and stubs them out, slumping his head into the bar. Being Smoker is suffering. Not to mention... what the hell is in that sack he's got anyway?]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Is that so?

[Tilts his head.] Another pirate?

[Because you know. Bar. And everyone knows how much pirates drink.]

Err... not exactly.

A little girl asked for candy canes though so...

[DON'T JUDGE HIM. She passes out without food and his bag has a lot of candy canes for no reason he understands other than mocking him.]

Eeeh? Santa, you don't know?! And here I thought you saw all of what we did... [Her elf gives a quick and very exaggerated nod, muttering something like "so you better watch out and be good!" as she waggles her finger. Perona, of course, ignores her completely.] But yes, it's for another pirate.

...There's also a very rude and intolerable marine that you should take a very hard look at. [She pours a glass of wine for herself, to taste it for real this time, and preferably not spit it out all over her poor elf. Over the rim of her glass--] He's been very naughty...and mean to me. I don't think he deserves a single thing.

Whatever, Smoker. You do, you're just a big baby.

[Yep, she said it]

I'm not a killer. You know me better than that.

...You're gonna climb up on her roof and break into her house just to give her candy canes?

[He is most definitely judging.]

No, just books is fine. There's nothing I like more than books and my friends, after all, so as long as I have both of those.. then I'm happy.

[Does that make the smoking any better though?]

Oh. Well try and have a Merry Christmas regardless.

Tch. I'll manage.

You too. You want a candy cane?

[Yeah that never gets less weird to offer.]

That wasn't my concern. [Really, the thought hadn't crossed his mind.]

Hey, fuck you Princess. It's not my job to be nice to pirates. [Points his finger at her to lecture!]

Books and friends it is then. Make sure you visit your friends on Christmas so none of them will be alone, okay?

It's not breaking in if she asked for this route.

I don't want to disappoint her just before Christmas, jeez.

Then what was?

...That's not like a code word for cigar right?

[but he'll take it that's not the case.]

[You know what? The shrill little gasp from her elf at the swear word is right. Perona's had it up to here with you, Smoker, and how much of a giant cock you're being for no other reason than because she's a goddamn pirate. She's so sick and tired of that goddamn bias when she's done nothing wrong save for a bit of playful teasing.

Squaring her shoulders, Perona finally takes a stand, closing the distance between herself and Smoker.]

Well, you could certainly make an effort, you pompous marine bastard! I've done nothing to you the entire time I've lived here, yet you treat me poorly! I don't deserve your ire, and especially not on this holiday! So you'd best shut that big mouth of yours before I find a way to do it for you! [Jabbing you hard in the chest.] I may be a pirate, but I'm still a lady, and I expect to be treated like one!

[She jabs his chest with her finger, then makes a motion to turn away and leave - she's so done - but...strangely...can't move. Why...can't she move? Ngeeh--] E-Eeh?! What did you do?! Let me go! If this is your doing, White Hunter, I won't forgive you!

[ She looks absolutely horrified. ]

You'd think the elves would be the most likely to end up on the naughty list with this. [ Yeah. She's just going to blame it on them. She looks almost grossed out, Smoker. Better do some damage control! ]

I'm not doing anything. How arrogant do you have to be to think I'd want to stick around you for another second?

And ladies don't carouse around with pirates in bars. It's simple. You want respect from a marine? Don't be a pirate.

Tch. Since apparently I'm the bigger man [You know, physically and metaphorically.] I'll take the initiative to leave until you're done. [So he turns to storm off.... and he can't move either.]

What the sugar plum fairies dancing on a frozen lake?

[Yup, not only is he stuck, but he's used up the last of his swears before the curse doubled.]

No, it's a real candy cane.

Although my cigars currently taste like candy canes.

Corrupted in other ways.

But if you're following your justice maybe it'll be a good influence on them.

[Oops. Smoker is sipping a rum at the bar, still in his Santa suit.]

Tell me about it, I cannot sing well to save my life.

Thank you so much, Santa! That makes me really happy. [And after another moment he finally pulls back.]

I always do. You know me better than that.

Pure of heart, pure of mind, pure of body. That's what Papa taught me.

Sure than. Thanks, Smoker.

[ She nods. ]

I'll try my very best, Santa. After all, I would feel really, really sad if any of them were lonely, since they're all such kind people..

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