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justicereigns) wrote2009-09-26 12:13 am
justicereigns) wrote2009-09-26 12:13 am
Entry tags:
Moving Out
All hands on deck. The rest of you get the hell on the ship.
I got a final lead on the pirates smuggling arms into this island and we're going hunting now. We'll be back to the Island by the 30th. Except a lot of fighting and rain.
Haru, thanks for the... thing... you did.
Oi Wolf. We gotta talk.
The rest of you stupid punks. Bounties are out. Russia has one, Mello, Matt, Straw-Hats well you know about the rest. Spain you better get your ass on fixing it if you're so insistent of your innocence. Elphaba apparently "excessive use of sparkles" doesn't count as a good enough reason. She'll just have to bug Sengoku personally.
And finally whoever sent the assortment of marine-related jokes to my emails is going to get my boot up their ass the minute I find out. Damn kids.
I got a final lead on the pirates smuggling arms into this island and we're going hunting now. We'll be back to the Island by the 30th. Except a lot of fighting and rain.
Haru, thanks for the... thing... you did.
Oi Wolf. We gotta talk.
The rest of you stupid punks. Bounties are out. Russia has one, Mello, Matt, Straw-Hats well you know about the rest. Spain you better get your ass on fixing it if you're so insistent of your innocence. Elphaba apparently "excessive use of sparkles" doesn't count as a good enough reason. She'll just have to bug Sengoku personally.
And finally whoever sent the assortment of marine-related jokes to my emails is going to get my boot up their ass the minute I find out. Damn kids.
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Were the marine-jokes that boring?
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They're abysmal. Here's one. Don't expect it to get it.
The old Navy Chief finally retired and got that chicken ranch he always wanted. He took with him his life-long pet parrot.
First morning at 0430, the parrot squawked loudly and said, “Reveille, Reveille. Up all hands. Heave out and trice up. The smoking lamp is lighted, now Reveille.”
The old chief told the parrot, “We are no longer in the Navy. Go back to sleep.”
The next morning, the parrot did the same thing. Chief told the parrot, “If you keep this up, I'll put you out in the chicken pen.”
Again the parrot did it, and true to his word, the Chief put the parrot in the chicken pen.
About 0630 the next morning, the Chief was awakened by one heck of a ruckus in the chicken pen. He went out to see what was the matter. The parrot had about 40 white chickens at attention in formation, and on the ground laid 3 bruised and beaten brown chickens. The parrot was saying, “By God, when I say fall out in dress whites, I don't mean Khakis!”
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Did you send these to me? I didn't even you know you had a sense of humor beyond delighting in other people's pain and fears. Here. Another one.
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A Petty Officer Second Class, a First Class, and a Captain are off the ship together for lunch. While crossing a park they come upon an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I can only grant three wishes, so I can give each of you just one."
"Me first!" says the Petty Officer Second Class. "I want to be in the East Blue, driving a speedboat, a beautiful woman at my side and not a care in the world." Poof! He's gone.
"Me next!" says the First Class. "I want to be in Jaya, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas, and a beautiful woman." Poof! He's gone too.
"You're next," the Genie says to the Captain. The Captain cracks a nasty smile and says, "I want those two idiots back on the ship and turning-to, right after lunch."
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That one is funnier, though.
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... Damn. I actually like that one. Fine how about this one:
Five cannibals were employed by the Marines as translators during one of the island campaigns. When the Commanding Admiral of the task force welcomed the cannibals he said, "You're all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of the rations that the Sailors are eating. So please do not indulge yourselves by eating a Sailor."
The cannibals promised.
Four weeks later, the Admiral returned and said, "You're all working hard, and I'm very satisfied with every one of you. However, one of our Chief Petty Officers has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"
The cannibals all shook their heads. After the Admiral left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, "Which of you idiots ate the CPO?" A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, "You idiot! For four weeks we've been eating Ensigns, Lieutenants, Lieutenant Commanders, and even one Captain, and no one noticed a thing. And then YOU had to go and eat a CPO!"
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Fine let's see... Also in this stupid email.
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Shichi Red's first marine assignment was to a marine induction center, and, because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the marine life insurance to which they were entitled.
Before long the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Shichi was getting a 99 percent sign-up for the top insurance.
This was odd, because it would cost these poor inductees nearly 3,000 berri per month more for their higher coverage than what the government was already granting. The Captain decided that he would sit in the back of the room and observe Shichi's sales pitch.
Shichi Red stood up before his latest group of academy recruits and stated:
"If you have the normal life insurance and go to Grand Line and get killed, the government pays your beneficiary 600,000 berri."
"If you take out the supplemental insurance which will cost you an additional 3,000 berri per month, the government pays your beneficiary 2,000,000 berri."
"Now... Which bunch do you think they're gonna send into combat first?"
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