Moving Out

[justicereigns]

All hands on deck. The rest of you get the hell on the ship.

I got a final lead on the pirates smuggling arms into this island and we're going hunting now. We'll be back to the Island by the 30th. Except a lot of fighting and rain.

Haru, thanks for the... thing... you did.

Oi Wolf. We gotta talk.

The rest of you stupid punks. Bounties are out. Russia has one, Mello, Matt, Straw-Hats well you know about the rest. Spain you better get your ass on fixing it if you're so insistent of your innocence. Elphaba apparently "excessive use of sparkles" doesn't count as a good enough reason. She'll just have to bug Sengoku personally.

And finally whoever sent the assortment of marine-related jokes to my emails is going to get my boot up their ass the minute I find out. Damn kids.

Comments

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

...it was an ok joke.

[justicereigns]

Most of them are worse. Although actually you might like this one I can't tell.

A letter from a marine to back home.

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad... there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

...I didn't really get that one. It seems more like social commentary than a joke to me.

[justicereigns]

Alright. There's also this one.

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A Rear-Admiral stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young recruit snapped to attention, made a perfect
salute, and snapped out, "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"

The Rear-Admiral, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the recruit wasn't going to disagree with the Rear-Admiral, so the he saluted again and replied, "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The Rear-Admiral continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"

The recruit didn't agree, but then the seaman was just a recruit, and responded, "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The Rear-Admiral, pointed at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."

The recruit glanced at the dog, saluted yet again, and said, "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The Rear-Admiral continued "I got this dog for my wife."

The recruit simply said, "Good trade, Sir!"

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, that one has half decent.

[justicereigns]

And then there's just the assorted idiocy.

"What does the word Marines stand for?"
"My Ass Rides In Naval Equipped Ships."

How do you tell a seagull apart from a marine?
One has a gun.

ooc: she doesn't want to laugh, but she is

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Those... are rather idiotic. I'm sorry you were spammed with such things.

ooc: <3 he's a little amused

[justicereigns]

Another one:

"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."

"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Pfffft.

[justicereigns]

A sergeant was addressing a squad of 20 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 19 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble, sarge."

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

That sounds so much like Lavi.

[justicereigns]

Heh. This one reminds me of Tashigi.

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind.

The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was a buzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a den den mushi message, and he was even more surprised when he heard, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules. Make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way!"

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Hahaha~! From what you described, it sounds just like her.

[justicereigns]

Heh this is one is just mildly amusing.

After turning in from a four to eight watch the seaman overslept and missed muster. When questioned he said: "Due to my metabolic inability to cope with change I did not respond to external stimuli and remained in a comatose condition."

The C.P.O., who didn't understand a word, listened to this report with awe and sent the sailor to the psychiatrist.

/is just laughing

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

/secretly pleased

[justicereigns]

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

They weren't all bad.

[justicereigns]

Some of them had good sides. Slightly.

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

They were amusing, nonetheless. Maybe someone sent them to you so you could take a break from work?

[justicereigns]

Perhaps. More likely it was some idiot with too much time on his hands avoiding work themselves.

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Well, either way, they thought of you.

[justicereigns]

I'm fairly certain that makes it worse.

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Come on, now. What if it was Rinali that sent them to you?

[justicereigns]

Then I'd need to stiffen her training.

You don't really think she did, do you?

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

No, but what if she did? She would have had good intentions.