justicereigns | [Video/Action]

[Apparently Luffy is running around like a madman, smoking two cigars and looking a little huskier than his usual self. Also, he doesn't seem to have his rubber devil fruit, instead every so often, there's a jump with smoke or a dodge to the side, but no stretching whatsoever.]

God damn it! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! [Oh yeah, and he's being chased by a pair of seastone handcuffs and a seastone-tipped jitte. Payback is a bitch, even when it's justice. Unfortunately even the near endurance master is going to run out of energy sometime, and after slowing down just a little, he trips, gets pounced by the jitte in his back and the handcuffs instantly latch around his wrists. After some wriggling, it's clear his journal is open so he just wriggles over to it.]

Can someone get me out of these fucking things? I have the key, I'm just not that flexible, ironically. [And that would be Smoker's voice, but apparently "Luffy's" head smacking into the ground.] Snow is a lot colder when you're completely human by the way. And now my smokes are running out. Joy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Why do ya look like Straw Hat?

Because the gods or Malnosso hate me, no doubt.

Zehahahahaha! This experiment's a weird one, all right!

Tch. And what are you? Pure evil?

Nope, unless pure evil looks exactly like pie!

Not if it's Justice Pie.

You're ... pie.

Right, the Malnosso are officially fucked in the head.

Well, it ain't so bad! At least I ain't bein' chased 'round by my own stuff!

Unless one of your crew accidentally eats you.

Nah, they don't like pie fer some reason.

Tch. Lucky you.

Lucky? Ta have a crew that don't like pie? I knew the Marines were idiots, but...

Tch. You're the stupid one. What would be good about having a crew that can't even stay physically fit?

It ain't 'bout fitness, it's taste that matters! I ain't gonna tell 'em they gotta eat pie mornin', noon, an' night, but ya can't not like pie! It's just weird!

Less weird than turning into one.

Ya ain't one ta talk, ya know.

What's this experiment 'bout, anyways? I can't make heads or tails o' it!

Tch. Whatever pirate.

Beats me. Someone said something about things you're obsessed with. Hell if I know.

Well, I guess me bein' pie makes some kinda sense. Why would ya be Straw Hat, though? [Mind slowly veering off in unfortunate directions. The handcuffs aren't really helping.]

I'm going to capture him, no matter what.

Zehahahahaha! Really? I thought that... Naw, never mind.

[Twitch.]

What?

I figured ya were gay or somethin'! But wantin' ta capture Straw Hat, that makes a bit more sense!

[Twitch... Twitch...]

[So. Much. Twitching.]

[Oh god. Words cannot describe how much he hates you right now.]

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH--?!?

EVEN IF I DIDN'T LIKE WOMEN -- THAT. I CAN DO A FUCKING LOT BETTER THAN STRAW-HAT!

UGH!

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[Voice] 4/5 I fail