justicereigns | [Audio]

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Nice of them to leave my jacket. [AWKWARD PAUSE. The voice coming from Smoker's journal account is not his usual. Or from a male at all.]

What's with my voice?! [That just squeaks there in high-pitched worry.]

Ah hell... I have boobs.

Fuck you Malnosso.

[He... she rather, clears her voice.]

S-Smoker is back... [That's a bit hesitant.] Ikki, he... he might need help. Jitte and kickboxing lessons will return to normal, sorry everyone about the delay. Could I have a headcount of everyone still wishing to take them? I might need to reorganize his schedules.

[The last part is muffled as he starts to shut the journal.]

Damn it! These jeans are way too big! Now what?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He gives a half-hearted, stiff shrug in responce.] Your choice. I was just informing you of something recent that could effect you. There were...what, twenty of us? This includes people like Daisy and Firo--yeah people got hurt.

...And Ginia should know about what happened down there, Cap'. [Don't think he didn't catch that pause. Was something up? He'd only met Alice once, and even then it was more of a snowball fight with random flirting than actual conversation. Was something up?] Her new housemate, a New Feather called Adele Leblanc, was down there patching people up.

Twenty??

Well, it sounds supervised at least. [If the doctor you're complaining is too bossy was down there, it couldn't be too bad, could it?]

I guess people got cooped up here. No Shift to distract them?

No shifts; just snow. [Unfortunately, they're in the middle of one now--Lupin just doesn't realize it yet.] You could say that restlessness was the cause...but it might also just have been people wanting to punch Tonton. Which, unfortunately, only some Japanese guy did. I hear he won a dislocated shoulder from his own game.

Tonton? Which Japanese guy?

[The names have him lost.]

Tony Stark. Bastard called me 'loopy' and said it was a nickname; Tonton was my revenge.

...and I think the guy's name was Kaburagi Kotetsu. I think. [Japanese name order right there, Smoker. Sorry. The thief has spent considerable amount of time in that country, and old habits die hard.]

[That's okay. While Smoker has only one name, plenty of others in his world use the Japanese order; Monkey D. Luffy, Portgas D. Ace, Roronoa Zoro, and so forth.]

Tonton. [Stares at. THIS IS completely ineffectual as a female. Since he has giant eyes and not so much a piercing/withering glare of doom. It just looks kind of moe all told.] Sounds like he got the better of you.

Hm... Kaburagi. I'll have to keep that in mind then. People really despise Tony Stark that much then?

[He doesn't blame them, but fighting each other just to get a chance to punch the man seems ridiculous.]

[discreetly. looking. away. from. MOE.]

...He's a fratboy with a big gun. What's there to like?

[Awesome. Now Smoker thinks it totally worked. See? He IS still terrifying as a woman damn it! And he has to hide a grin at being able to make Lupin look away from his withering gaze of terror. If only he knew the real reason...]

Fratboy? [Unfamiliar with this term.]

He has the mentality of a cocky young guy who parties and carouses way too much, with the overinflated ego of a man who has everything and none of the tact.

[he hasn't thought that he's also describing himself once he gets really rolling.

He downs another swig of rum and returns his gaze to the undeniable moe that is the Marine.]

...you're not going to kill me if I tell you something honest but useful, will you?

Yeah, well too many people here are like that. [Waves a hand. But seriously, have you met Jack Sparrow? Because clearly that is who just described. Only nicer because you left out scurvy and fleas.]

What? Why would I kill you for that?

[He probably will Lupin, he probably will. Tread carefully.]

[He has met Jack. They got drunk on wassail and destroyed a pillory--all this, after bonding over hunting down Sith Turkeys.

Lupin cracks a smile, but braces himself all the same. The Marine who only thought she was big and scary wasn't going to take this lightly.]

You...kinda don't have the same oomph that you did back in December. It's your...uh, size and ...'assets' really. They...

[Pause.]

Dammit, Cap', you're pretty hot and you'll want to cover yourself better if you want every straight man in the vicinity to not oogle and take you seriously!

[Opens his mouth at not having the same "oomph" as he does as a man -- Ikki said the same thing, but didn't that just prove Lupin was sexist? Women are fucking dangerous too! There's no difference in terms of overall strength just because of size and -- wait. WAIT. WHAT? So Smoker promptly chomps down on the cigars and growls furiously.]

FOR YOUR INFORMATION--!

[AND THEN BLUSHES BRIGHT RED. He doesn't want to zip up just because Lupin's a pervert, BUT EW. So he attempts another withering glare and growling tone; which is just as damn ineffectual as before for all the reasons Lupin said and more.] You're not my type.

[AND THEN EVEN MORE RED BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL. He meant it to be insulting but that sort of implies he has a type and FUCK HIS LIFE. And so, despite the refusal to let the Malnosso "win," Smoker zips his jacket right up. And turns around with his arms folded across his chest.] Women are more than just their bodies. Prat. [You know what? He's going to back-kick Lupin's knees for that like a mule. Don't tell him it's only a third the strength of his usual rib-crushing kicks.] Keep your eyes on business!

Cap?! You--I--!

[he doesn't get words out before Smoker kicks his knees, the sudden jolt has him hissing as he exhales. He pushes the chair away, hoping that the distance and the Marine's shortened reach will keep him relatively safe from further mayhem.]

I didn't mean like that--I-- [pout] I know women are more than their bodies!

[case in point: Fujiko. Daisy.]

I was trying to let you know that you were distracting, is all.

THEN STOP BEING DISTRACTED!

What kind of a man are you?! You can't think as long as a woman is half naked in front of you?

[TO BE FAIR TO LUPIN, most men would have this problem. Especially with the Valentine's event going on. Smoker just prides himself on justice first, sex later. Even if it's more like smokes first, justice just barely under that then everything else... point is. He wasn't distracted by Boa Hancock's sex appeal, so surely Lupin should be able to avoid being distracted by Smoker's newfound... whateverness. Boobs. Clearly not sex appeal, because he's sure it can't be as bad as all that.] Just drink your drink.

How badly were you hurt anyway? By the brawl in the tunnels I mean. [Not that he cares.]

[he OBEYS. It's mostly to save some of his pride in the eyes of Smoker rather than genuine fear, but he downs the rest of his tumbler as a means of quelling his protest. It could have been worse for Smoker. Much worse.

They could have not even gotten very far in their conversation. Lupin could have broken out into reckless flirting.

He breathes, collects himself, and straightens his posture, eyes firmly on Smoker's face than any...assets.]

Broke a few ribs. It's not terrible, just annoying as hell. I've really had a lot worse, but it makes telling jokes and fun conversation a bitch and a half.

[more rum.] Gunshot wounds at least keep you down for a while from bloodloss, or they can be bandaged properly and slinged. This? It's just a pain in the ass.

Edited 2012-02-16 01:58 (UTC)

[It seriously could have been worse, and would have with most. And Smoker shouldn't have been walking around shirtless if he didn't want this kind of attention. Moron.]

[Although he appreciates the not flirting. Even if he doesn't know it yet. He turns back around, just sits crosslegged and grumpy-ish and drinks his own rhum. Mmmm rhum...]

I see. [Arches an eyebrow.] And Adele's your doctor? [Better than Law, in Smoker's pirate hating opinion.] She seems like a smart woman at least. [And nice. Not bossy. But then, Smoker's not the one with the cracked ribs, and she hasn't told him to stop smoking yet so...] Who broke them?

Yeah, she is. Has already threatened to sedate me too, and whacked me across the head a few times.. [But she was smart. Uncomfortably so.

He watches Smoker get comfortable again, lounging on the furniture in a way that would please Jigen to no end. Despite his misgivngs, he cracks a smile.]

Do you want the long version, or the short version?

[Smirks at Adele smacking him. He's sure Lupin deserved it. Obviously.]

Long. [He doesn't explain why, but again it's the whole solitude for a month and a half thing. Besides, the more information the better. He's already learning a lot from this discussion with Lupin; which after so long of not being able to himself, is rather nice.]

[That makes him lift his brows, though he doesn't voice his surprise at this. Explain he does though, with no guile or games. It wasn't giving up; it was regrouping.]

Well, like with Stark and his grand idea for a little fight club in the tunnels, I've been getting restless too. I've tried little projects here or there--journal stalking, costuming...

I tried to make smoke bombs too. I haven't found any of my tools aside from my gun here, so I figured I'd try to rig some together. Lockpicks...are easy. Just get to the right shops, find the right set of pliers...

But smoke bombs? Not so much. I--well. I kinda set my room on fire. Pissed off several people, including my neighbor above my room.

She is very tall, very strong, very beautiful, and was very angry. We had a little 'altercation', lets just say, and she kicked me pretty damn hard. Cracked a few ribs.

But the restlessness didn't go away, so when Tony made his announcement and we talked, he kinda pissed me off, so I wasn't really thinking when I jumped in. Then...[shrug] I was in. No fighting it, except obviously to fight.

If you're looking for names, the woman was Daisy, and my opponent was a kid called Spada. Seemed like a trained fighter--and I just wanted to blow steam.

It was stupid, in hind sight.

Edited 2012-02-16 03:06 (UTC)

Costuming? [That sounded weird. Why would you want to do that to yourself? But Smoker is thinking of a certain Halloween Shift where he was basically stuck in a Winnie-The-Pooh costume.] Oh. Like disguises. [Nods for Lupin to carry on. The lockpicks comment certainly gets a disapproving eyebrow arch though. Bad thief.]

So you see it as more your fault? [WELL so did Smoker, but he's surprised that Lupin has that wisdom or depth to him. There might be a slight shift in respect. It's fine to make mistakes as long as you get stronger from it and learn better, which can't be done by simply blaming others.] I am familiar with Daisy. [By reputation mostly.] Though not Spada. Has it really been that quiet? [This makes Smoker edgy. It should mean that the Malnosso are plotting something huge... but Ikki mentioned that everyone lost an entire weekend. Are they having problems themselves???]

I see it as me being stupid, not thinking. [He sighs at this.] The one thing I fear in this life is boredom. Not doing anything. I don't do well with it even normally, but its not like I can go woo college girls and promise them the world here. I can only just be here.

I don't like it. It's been waaaaay too quiet for my tastes.

Too quiet for mine as well. [It makes his ears itch. He likes the quiet, but this doesn't feel right.]

Have you ever thought of doing something productive with your time?

[Not that Smoker is one to talk. He reads, smokes, drinks, stacks rocks, and practices jitte. And that's between trying to stalk all the pirates. Which is basically all indulging addictions and bad habits. But he has tried a few things. And more jitte moves. Still, beats blowing up your bedroom and getting kicked in the ribs by a spartan. At least when you have to spend weeks on end doing even less just so you can repair.] I would send you to my friend to put you to work at his greenhouse... but I doubt the Malnosso were so kind as to return him after I left. [Frowns. He didn't even get to give Lab his Christmas present. And that was right after Grell left too. Tch.] Didn't you have any other hobbies before this world?

I had the Game. I didn't need hobbies, except for when jobs ran dry. [Rare was the day when that happened. So long as there were corrupt politicians, artifacts to be hidden, and puzzles to unravel he would always have work.] Back home I would sometimes race cars--but with no vehicles, or even a good road, what good is that here?

Motorcycles? [Ears perk. Smoker loves his Billower Bike. And misses it like the dickens.]

Tch, yeah, Donatello said they had a hard time getting anything for vehicles to work here, even if they had fuel. [Such as Smoker's devil fruit which is how he powers his ~~love of his life~~ motorcycle.]

You could try building and racing sailboats. [He totally says this with a straight face. Because he's serious.] Or build a ship in a bottle. Or find a hobby here.

Haaahh~~ Shoulda figured that Donatello would have worked on that at some point. No surprise, no surprise~.

[he drinks more rum, pondering all of this carefully. Here was some advice. It was unasked for. It was free.] You proposing a race there, Cap'? 'Cause that'd be cool if we can work it out sometime.

My problem though is that I don't want to get too comfy here. I want to find a way out, or at least a way to hit our handlers, remember? I don't want to get distracted--and I will get distracted if I go shipwright.

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