Joy.

[justicereigns]

I'm aware you're all sick of the unicorns. Deal with it, it's not as though I asked for this to happen. To whatever idiot thought it would be cute to send my ensign a pie, come forward now if you want leniency. Apparently the stories about unicorns wanting to protect innocent maidens and virgins is true. So do me a favor and if you fall into the category, stay the fuck away from me or I'll take a leaf from the leopard's book and trample you. First person to make a crack about my horn being cleft like a jitte god damn it gets the honor of being choked, thrown in my brig and force-fed the remaining pie.

That is all.

Comments

[justicereigns]

Ha. I'd rather have this problem that that at least.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

Wikipedia says it's when ruminant animals regurgitate food and chew it again. For some reason.

...Yeah, I kinda think I'd rather have your problem.

[justicereigns]

Yes. It's most common in bovines.

Except as you said there aren't a lot of virgins around you so it wouldn't make much of a difference.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

Goats aren't bovine, are they? Although actually I figured out I might be closer to a deer.

Well, yeah. That's why I'd rather have that.

[justicereigns]

They're in the bovidae family. Bovinae (cows) are a separate subfamily. Goats and sheep are both in caprinae subfamily and deer aren't even in the bovidae family, they're in cervidae.

Right. You're funnier as a goat.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

...You lost me.

What? Hey!

[justicereigns]

No. Goats are not closer to deer than cows. They're closer to sheep.

Case in point.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

Well, I know they're like sheep. Anyway, what I meant is I'm not a goat anyway. I'm like a deer...thing.

Shut up.

[justicereigns]

You're a little small for a deer.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

So!? I'm a-- what'd that guy say-- a kirin. They're small!

[justicereigns]

... Aren't kirin supposed to be related to giraffes?

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

NO.

[justicereigns]

... I'm pretty sure they are. That's why the Japanese word for giraffe is kirin. So wouldn't that make kirin pretty big?

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

No! Giraffes are named after kirin!

[justicereigns]

Right. So then shouldn't kirin the mythical unicorn kind be bigger?

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

...No, why would they be? That doesn't even make sense. Giraffes are just named after kirin 'cause the first time people saw them, they didn't know what to compare them to.

[justicereigns]

I'm not sure that makes a lot of sense either. People don't call horses unicorns. Or lizards dragons. So giraffes and kirin would have to look a lot more similar.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

Take it up with Google, then, jackass. Ain't my fault.

[justicereigns]

Cheh. Are you always this sociable or only when people call you a shrimp?

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

Pretty much all the time.

[justicereigns]

What the hell does she see in you?

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

Got no fucking clue. I never look a gift horse in the mouth.

[justicereigns]

Hn. Don't mess it up, idiot. You break her, I'll break you.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

I'm doing the best I can.

[justicereigns]

And you think that's good enough?