Joy.

[justicereigns]

I'm aware you're all sick of the unicorns. Deal with it, it's not as though I asked for this to happen. To whatever idiot thought it would be cute to send my ensign a pie, come forward now if you want leniency. Apparently the stories about unicorns wanting to protect innocent maidens and virgins is true. So do me a favor and if you fall into the category, stay the fuck away from me or I'll take a leaf from the leopard's book and trample you. First person to make a crack about my horn being cleft like a jitte god damn it gets the honor of being choked, thrown in my brig and force-fed the remaining pie.

That is all.

Comments

[butwhenyousmile.livejournal.com]

That doesn't sound like too bad a punishment if the offender is already a unicorn.

[justicereigns]

Maybe it will do something worse.

[butwhenyousmile.livejournal.com]

It seems to be the opinion of quite a few of our number that there isn't much worse than being a unicorn in the first place, Cigar-san included.

[chocogun.livejournal.com]

My day coulnd't get any better.

You people sure know how to keep things interesting around here.

[justicereigns]

Tsk. Didn't one of your idiot crew members also eat some?

[tapdancinskelly.livejournal.com]

... it's a justice unicorn!

[justicereigns]

...

Yes.

[onewithwild.livejournal.com]

... wow, the pies reached that far?

[justicereigns]

So it would seem. I spent a good part of my morning nuzzling my now horrified Ensign.

[kineticjustice.livejournal.com]

...Justice unicorn. Like the skeleton man unicorn said.

[justicereigns]

Damn it. You're both virgins, aren't you?

[time-exorcist.livejournal.com]

Now we have... nine stallions.

[tapdancinskelly.livejournal.com]

Why is it that only the men seem to be turning into unicorns? ...Maybe it's because the females aren't stupid enough to eat random pie floating in the sea?

[isahusband.livejournal.com]

...

[justicereigns]

Hn.

[chameleongun.livejournal.com]

Are you coming along with the rest of them today?

[justicereigns]

... A unicorn picnic? Really?

[4chantroll.livejournal.com]

[justicereigns]

You must have missed this on your way in. I have a strict policy.

[agent-wolf.livejournal.com]

How are you gonna choke somebody if you don't have hands?

[justicereigns]

I still have my logia just like you and the idiot leopard have your zoan.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

At least you're... not pink?

[justicereigns]

THEN my urge to kill you would be twice as strong.

[daysintherain.livejournal.com]

That pie was really good though, wasn't it?

[justicereigns]

It was pretty damn good yes. I should get the recipe for the cook. One without red pears.