Joy.

[justicereigns]

I'm aware you're all sick of the unicorns. Deal with it, it's not as though I asked for this to happen. To whatever idiot thought it would be cute to send my ensign a pie, come forward now if you want leniency. Apparently the stories about unicorns wanting to protect innocent maidens and virgins is true. So do me a favor and if you fall into the category, stay the fuck away from me or I'll take a leaf from the leopard's book and trample you. First person to make a crack about my horn being cleft like a jitte god damn it gets the honor of being choked, thrown in my brig and force-fed the remaining pie.

That is all.

Comments

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

What are you doing right now?

I'm on my skiff~ give me two hours.

[justicereigns]

Paperwork. I'm looking into pirates in the area that delve into slavery and making a list.

I think I can manage to wait that long.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

I guess this is the kind of paperwork you don't want me to burn.

I'm worth waiting for!

[justicereigns]

Mn. It's a side project. For a friend. Whether he wants it or not.

You're going to have to prove that when you get here punk.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Do I get to know who for?

I promise to try very hard~ <3

[justicereigns]

Fujiko and Jyabura. She asked, he refused, I'm doing it anyway since she'll just sneak onto my damn ship and do it herself if I don't get her a list. At least this will keep her out of trouble. Sort of.

That might help. Some.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

You're a nice guy after all~ and I'm talking to Fujiko again! Happy?

What else would help?

[justicereigns]

Hn. When did this happen?

Mm. Alcohol. If you promise not to burn it I'll get my good scotch.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Yesterday. She missed me :3

Promise! I prefer the taste of it when I've been licking it off your lips, though.

[justicereigns]

Idiot. You shouldn't have fought with her in the first place. You still mad at her about... whatever stupid reason you had?

That's even better, yes. I'll have to see how it tastes on you too, brat.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

No. I missed her too.

Maybe you can suck me off, and I can lick your lips after that, too.

[justicereigns]

Oh. That's good.

Hn. Brat. Maybe I will.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Don't tell her I said that.

On your ship~ avoiding your men~ <3 See you in a minute!

[justicereigns]

Maybe you should tell her numbskull.

Good. Try not to horse around too much Portgas.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Maybe.

I've never been a unicorn, so I'm less equine than you.

[justicereigns]

Why aren't you?

For now. Right.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Because I'm too stunningly manly to talk about my feelings. Unless it's my feelings for sex.

I'd sparkle at you.

[justicereigns]

Tsk. Idiot.

... Don't even threaten that.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Your idiot, though.

I'd nuzzle Tashigi. She'd appreciate the sparkles.

[justicereigns]

Mm. That might make it a little better.

Stay away from my ensign Portgas.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Only a little?

I swear, she came on to me first!

[justicereigns]

Yes.

... Portgas. Don't touch her or I'll lock you up so fast you won't even get to say, "But Taisa~!"

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

What can I do to make it a lot better?

Only a joke, Captain! I can explain 'jokes' to you in an hour, when I reach you. Warm the bed for me? <3

[justicereigns]

I'm sure you'll come up with something.

Mm. I leave the bed-warming to you brat.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

I've got a few ideas.

So that you can focus on, ah, 'other' things~?