Joy.

[justicereigns]

I'm aware you're all sick of the unicorns. Deal with it, it's not as though I asked for this to happen. To whatever idiot thought it would be cute to send my ensign a pie, come forward now if you want leniency. Apparently the stories about unicorns wanting to protect innocent maidens and virgins is true. So do me a favor and if you fall into the category, stay the fuck away from me or I'll take a leaf from the leopard's book and trample you. First person to make a crack about my horn being cleft like a jitte god damn it gets the honor of being choked, thrown in my brig and force-fed the remaining pie.

That is all.

Comments

[justicereigns]

Maybe you should tell her numbskull.

Good. Try not to horse around too much Portgas.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Maybe.

I've never been a unicorn, so I'm less equine than you.

[justicereigns]

Why aren't you?

For now. Right.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Because I'm too stunningly manly to talk about my feelings. Unless it's my feelings for sex.

I'd sparkle at you.

[justicereigns]

Tsk. Idiot.

... Don't even threaten that.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Your idiot, though.

I'd nuzzle Tashigi. She'd appreciate the sparkles.

[justicereigns]

Mm. That might make it a little better.

Stay away from my ensign Portgas.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Only a little?

I swear, she came on to me first!

[justicereigns]

Yes.

... Portgas. Don't touch her or I'll lock you up so fast you won't even get to say, "But Taisa~!"

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

What can I do to make it a lot better?

Only a joke, Captain! I can explain 'jokes' to you in an hour, when I reach you. Warm the bed for me? <3

[justicereigns]

I'm sure you'll come up with something.

Mm. I leave the bed-warming to you brat.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

I've got a few ideas.

So that you can focus on, ah, 'other' things~?

[justicereigns]

Oh? Anything actually worthwhile?

Correct.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

You'll have to wait to find out... impatient Marine.

Good. I want all your focus on me, then.

[justicereigns]

I hate waiting.

And here I was thinking paperwork.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Impaaaaatient~ Don't worry! It's worth waiting for.

... bastard Marine. For that, I wanna fuck you.

[justicereigns]

We'll see.

Never again Portgas. But I could use a good laugh at your attempts.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

We certainly will~

So you don't want me to bend you over your desk, lube you up and fuck you senseless?

[justicereigns]

That would require clearing my desk first.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Why bother? I kind of like the idea of having you pinned down and screaming into your paperwork while you ride me.

[justicereigns]

Portgas. I don't scream. I never scream.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

Is that a challenge~?

[justicereigns]

I don't scream.

But if you can even make me cum while you're topping I'll count it as your win.

[inyourf-ace.livejournal.com]

What's the prize?

[justicereigns]

Fantastic "sex-god" sex later. And getting to sleep on the bed.