[Audio]

[justicereigns]

Nice of them to leave my jacket. [AWKWARD PAUSE. The voice coming from Smoker's journal account is not his usual. Or from a male at all.]

What's with my voice?! [That just squeaks there in high-pitched worry.]

Ah hell... I have boobs.

Fuck you Malnosso.

[He... she rather, clears her voice.]

S-Smoker is back... [That's a bit hesitant.] Ikki, he... he might need help. Jitte and kickboxing lessons will return to normal, sorry everyone about the delay. Could I have a headcount of everyone still wishing to take them? I might need to reorganize his schedules.

[The last part is muffled as he starts to shut the journal.]

Damn it! These jeans are way too big! Now what?!

Comments

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[Eyes widen as he gets flipped. Definitely didn't remember Ace being this good, but then it could just be the girl thing.]

Spar.

[Disgruntled growl.] But I'm not zipping up! [Stubborn.] So deal with it. [Folds arms over his chest. Isn't it funny how he thinks this is somehow a punishment to Ace?]

Re: [Action]

[hiken_ace]

[He shrugs calmly.] Okay.

[He just raises his eyebrows. Whoa, did really just say that?] If you're sure, then...

[Action]

[justicereigns]

What?

[Confused marine get. Shouldn't there be more of an explosive reaction? Like "Don't order me around" or something like that? Of course, that's just how Smoker would be.]

Do kisses make you brain dead? More than usual that is.

[Don't you love how 30 seconds ago he pretended it never happened? Anyways getting close and peering up Ace mockingly as though trying to find out if Ace has a concussion of some sort.]

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

[...facepalm. Oh god, Smoker, you really don't get it. He thought you were stupid, but not this stupid.]

You really don't get it, do you...

[Action]

[justicereigns]

What's to get?

[Growl growl, folds arms.] It distracts you, right? You're probably the type who'd get distracted by Boa Hancock in the middle of battle.

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

It doesn't distract me. It's just most girls wouldn't want to flash their boobs at guys.

[And then he gets a little pissed.] I was a bit busy at the time. I didn't really care for Hancock then.

[Action]

[justicereigns]

Well, I'm not really a girl, so how does it matter?

[Big eyes keep looking up at Ace. So this time the time period update was really hitting him hard, huh?] She's basically dating your little brother anyway. [Rolls her eyes. To explain there was a time when Hancock was in Luceti and that is how Smoker got that impression.]

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

You have a point, b--

[REWIND THERE. He will just. Stare for a while. And not at the boobs.]

She's WHAT?!

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[KIND OF SMUG NOW. Ahahaha. :3 He knew something Ace didn't. About his own brother. Aw yeah.]

It's probably not current anymore, seeing as she got sent home from Luceti ages ago, but still. They were being disgusting on the journal and everything. [It was gross! Actually she was trying on clothes and it sounded dirty, but throw in Smoker's keen hearing and loathing of them both and it wasn't a good combination.]

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

[He stops. And really thinks about this. Luffy. Taking the Pirate Empress. Excuse him if he finds this utter bullshit.]

Okay, yeah, no. Luffy's just not like that. Hell, it takes a Shift to make him think he's dating someone. Nice try, but I don't buy it.

[Action]

[justicereigns]

Ask him yourself.

[Nope, still smug. He knows what he heard. And it was gross. Though not as gross as kissing a pirate, but he's not going to acknowledge that. Again.]

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

Okay, I will. [He's a bit defiant at the fact that Smoker thinks he knows shit about Luffy that Ace doesn't.

Bastard.]

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[Your hate just makes him smugger. So much more smug.]

You shouldn't get distracted thinking about your brother in battle. [Headbutts Ace's jaw with the top of his skull. If he was his normal height, he'd have remembered butting heads with a D is like bashing one's skull in a rock, but oh well. Boobs makes us do crazy things. I mean no.]

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

[Just gonna stop your head with his hand.] Having an idiot younger brother makes the older one worry.

[And shoves her back hard.]

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[Glares and tries to kick Ace's legs.]

How did you become brothers anyway? You have the same grandfather right? [Adopted or not, sounds a legit way to Smoker.]

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

[Jumps up and over Smoker to land behind him.]

Why do you care again? [Sorry, he's not disclosing anything like that. :| And now he's aiming a kick for her back.]

[Action]

[justicereigns]

Trying to figure out why you do. [Spins on a dime and aims his legs in a sweeping kick, which is considerably less effective given the short range, but since Ace is aiming in close, it should block and tangle him.]

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

He's my brother, that's all that matters. So butt out. [He blocks the kick with his leg, and the grabs it to throw her down to the ground.]

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[Well fuck that. He's switching to smoke to try to do a White Snake whipping attack.]

Don't be so touchy or it'll be your downfall.

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

[And you just hit far too close to home for that one. His anger takes over, and he sends up a wall of fire around himself and keep his smoke back. Sorry if he burns anything down, Luceti. >>]

That was really unnecessary to say.

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[Flares his smoke around the edges to prevent any major damage and pulls back into a woman except for her arms.]

So then why did it work?

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

[He glares at her, letting his flames subside a bit.]

If all you're going to do is push my buttons, I'm leaving.

[Action]

[justicereigns]

That's not my intention Portgas. I just don't want you flying off the handle over everything I say.

If you're all buttons, it's hard to push you without brushing one.

[Action]

[hiken_ace]

You weren't doing anything when you talked about Luffy. It was when you started talking about my downfall.

[Because honestly? You sounded like you were rubbing it in my face.]

[Action]

[justicereigns]

[Leans up close and peers at him, finally sighing and looking away.]

The only one here worried about that is you. [Sits down on the ground crosslegged and arms folded. Yeah, Ikki told him not to do things like that, but he doesn't know how to act like a girl. He's certainly not going to flirt. Even if he could.]

I fought Blackbeard here. Before he got stronger. Do you think anyone could have taken him down?

[Lays on his back looking up at the sky. Blame the Malnosso, blame being alone with his own thoughts for a month and a half on end, blame Valentine's Day and all of it, the end result was still that Smoker was sitting here trying to make sense to a pirate. And it was grating.] Don't confuse me for Akainu, pirate. I hate him, and I'm nothing like him. [Still a marine though. Could Ace really get over that? Could Smoker?] From here on out -- and before -- I'm not talking about your past. Because I don't give a damn about it. Just this world, this place, this future. Got it?

[Furrows her brow cutely, trying to figure out whether to even explain herself. Would it smooth things over and just sound as stupid as he thought? What did have to lose at this point? He'd already made a fool of himself twenty times today.] I asked about your brother because it's important to you. And when I said downfall I meant here. Fighting me. Don't read volumes into what I say. If I want to mock you, it won't be underhanded, and it'll be obvious. [So they both assumed the other would mock each other. Did that mean Ace wasn't mocking him before? No, that was impossible.]