justicereigns | [Audio]

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Nice of them to leave my jacket. [AWKWARD PAUSE. The voice coming from Smoker's journal account is not his usual. Or from a male at all.]

What's with my voice?! [That just squeaks there in high-pitched worry.]

Ah hell... I have boobs.

Fuck you Malnosso.

[He... she rather, clears her voice.]

S-Smoker is back... [That's a bit hesitant.] Ikki, he... he might need help. Jitte and kickboxing lessons will return to normal, sorry everyone about the delay. Could I have a headcount of everyone still wishing to take them? I might need to reorganize his schedules.

[The last part is muffled as he starts to shut the journal.]

Damn it! These jeans are way too big! Now what?!

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[Nods numbly.]

But I like my jacket.

[Seriously, it's a whine.]

Don't whine.

[That's all he's going to say about it.]

I never whine. You must have me confused with Hyoga. [GRITS TEETH AROUND THE CIGAR. He's now distracted in trying to figure out how to maintain his voice? Or go with the girl thing... or something.]

Once again, I don't know what girls wear and G-- the person I'd usually ask isn't here. [Drums fingers on something, but goes to look for a long jacket.]

You're right in something, you sounded just like Hyoga when you whined about your jacket. Seriously, don't do that.

[Ikki hums.]

Don't you know any other women? Selphie isn't here so we can't ask her either.

[As far as he knows. And it makes him sulk a bit.]

No way.

[Pauses.] My mermaid daughter wants to be a fashion designer, so I guess I'll go find her.

[Chew over that line in your head long enough to sink in; it doesn't make anymore sense I promise.] I could ask Ginia... but she's one of those people I wouldn't want to lose my standing with. [Assuming he has any, but he thinks they have some rapport at least.] Where's Selphie?

I still don't get how it was all logical that you would have a mermaid daughter.

[Malnosso logic.]

Anyway, you sure she will able to help with the lower part?

[Ikki shifts a bit in his position when Smoker asks about Selphie, then...]

I guess Ami is an option as well, she probably won't suggest anything too bad either.

[Yeaaaah, no talking about Selphie. Because he doesn't know.]

Actually for my world, it wouldn't be that weird. [Adoption runs rampant.] Her previous mentor was a talking starfish after all. [No seriously.]

[And he shrugs.]

She knows how to make pants, mermaids split their tails when they're 33 and can walk on land easier, but they still tend to disguise as humans.

[He meant biologically, he knows what adoption is.]

Her mentor was. But her biological father probably was a mermaid or however they are called when they are male.

[The only mermaids he knows are Smoker's daughter -barely-, and Thetis who... Doesn't really count.]

Oh, that's... Convenient. Also explains why mermaids always seem to be pictured as young and pretty.

[Chuckle.]

Well, her father could be a fishman. [See? SEE? His world is weird.]

Right. That and less people are into looking at ugly fish. [Less, because even Smoker allots that there are some out there who are into that :|]

... I guess that makes sense.

[He guesses.]

I suppose so. There are all types of tastes around.

Exactly. Same goes for everywhere. [Hands him some shirts.] Are these okay?

[He takes them and gives him a look. Are you really asking for his opinion?]

If they fit they should... Will you pick up bras as well?

[Smirk.]

[Folds his arms again.]

I hate bras.

[You know. On principle. Because they hide boobs from him and are annoying to remove from girls.]

Oh, I didn't know you had tried them already.

[Flips him off.]

Getting them off of other women. Why would I wear one now when I don't even like shirts!?

Who knows, why do women wear them?

I'm told for support and so they move around less. Seems stupid to me.

Suppose you'll know in a few days if you stay in this shape long enough.

[Annoyed face.]

By which point I'll have no reputation and pirates will have enough blackmail photos to last a decade. Great.

Sounds about right.

Fine, I'll just break their heads later. Problem solved.

Will you do that every week?

Yes. It's fun.

Let's hope no one thinks you're abusing power or something.

Abuse nothing, it's deserved.

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