justicereigns | [Audio]

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[Audio]

Nice of them to leave my jacket. [AWKWARD PAUSE. The voice coming from Smoker's journal account is not his usual. Or from a male at all.]

What's with my voice?! [That just squeaks there in high-pitched worry.]

Ah hell... I have boobs.

Fuck you Malnosso.

[He... she rather, clears her voice.]

S-Smoker is back... [That's a bit hesitant.] Ikki, he... he might need help. Jitte and kickboxing lessons will return to normal, sorry everyone about the delay. Could I have a headcount of everyone still wishing to take them? I might need to reorganize his schedules.

[The last part is muffled as he starts to shut the journal.]

Damn it! These jeans are way too big! Now what?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Who knows. For me it's the reputation of a strong man with a strong sense of justice but that's not an asshole.

[He could go on but... Compliments aren't his thing.]

Anyway it's probably one you don't want to lose. Not to mention the reputation you may have with the pirates here.

I can be an asshole...

[Rubs the back of her neck. The pirates pretty much already consider him a joke, but he can see the point to what Ikki's saying. Unfortunately.]

One of them already caught me... Portgas. [Oh gosh. Red-faced again.] But I needed to ask him something anyway. [And he's dead, and an asshole, so Smoker's not worried about his reputation suffering too many hits there.] Hopefully the rest will just avoid me as much as they always do.

And I can be a maniacal murderer. Your point?

[You and Selphie have the strange habit of not making your points clear at times.]

If you think it's worth it, then just do whatever you want.

[It's not as if he's your mom or something to worry about you like that. You're older than him after all.]

Just saying. [Smoker can't take compliments anymore than Ikki can give them. Such a pair they are.]

[And he huffs.] No, it's good advice, and you're right. Just trying to figure out damage control.

[Perfect for each other.

Ikki hums a bit.]

Want more clothes then?

[Nods numbly.]

But I like my jacket.

[Seriously, it's a whine.]

Don't whine.

[That's all he's going to say about it.]

I never whine. You must have me confused with Hyoga. [GRITS TEETH AROUND THE CIGAR. He's now distracted in trying to figure out how to maintain his voice? Or go with the girl thing... or something.]

Once again, I don't know what girls wear and G-- the person I'd usually ask isn't here. [Drums fingers on something, but goes to look for a long jacket.]

You're right in something, you sounded just like Hyoga when you whined about your jacket. Seriously, don't do that.

[Ikki hums.]

Don't you know any other women? Selphie isn't here so we can't ask her either.

[As far as he knows. And it makes him sulk a bit.]

No way.

[Pauses.] My mermaid daughter wants to be a fashion designer, so I guess I'll go find her.

[Chew over that line in your head long enough to sink in; it doesn't make anymore sense I promise.] I could ask Ginia... but she's one of those people I wouldn't want to lose my standing with. [Assuming he has any, but he thinks they have some rapport at least.] Where's Selphie?

I still don't get how it was all logical that you would have a mermaid daughter.

[Malnosso logic.]

Anyway, you sure she will able to help with the lower part?

[Ikki shifts a bit in his position when Smoker asks about Selphie, then...]

I guess Ami is an option as well, she probably won't suggest anything too bad either.

[Yeaaaah, no talking about Selphie. Because he doesn't know.]

Actually for my world, it wouldn't be that weird. [Adoption runs rampant.] Her previous mentor was a talking starfish after all. [No seriously.]

[And he shrugs.]

She knows how to make pants, mermaids split their tails when they're 33 and can walk on land easier, but they still tend to disguise as humans.

[He meant biologically, he knows what adoption is.]

Her mentor was. But her biological father probably was a mermaid or however they are called when they are male.

[The only mermaids he knows are Smoker's daughter -barely-, and Thetis who... Doesn't really count.]

Oh, that's... Convenient. Also explains why mermaids always seem to be pictured as young and pretty.

[Chuckle.]

Well, her father could be a fishman. [See? SEE? His world is weird.]

Right. That and less people are into looking at ugly fish. [Less, because even Smoker allots that there are some out there who are into that :|]

... I guess that makes sense.

[He guesses.]

I suppose so. There are all types of tastes around.

Exactly. Same goes for everywhere. [Hands him some shirts.] Are these okay?

[He takes them and gives him a look. Are you really asking for his opinion?]

If they fit they should... Will you pick up bras as well?

[Smirk.]

[Folds his arms again.]

I hate bras.

[You know. On principle. Because they hide boobs from him and are annoying to remove from girls.]

Oh, I didn't know you had tried them already.

[Flips him off.]

Getting them off of other women. Why would I wear one now when I don't even like shirts!?

Who knows, why do women wear them?

I'm told for support and so they move around less. Seems stupid to me.

Suppose you'll know in a few days if you stay in this shape long enough.

[Annoyed face.]

By which point I'll have no reputation and pirates will have enough blackmail photos to last a decade. Great.

Sounds about right.

[Action] -- it won't load so I can do that

[Action] -- lol orz close enough

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