justicereigns | [Audio]

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Nice of them to leave my jacket. [AWKWARD PAUSE. The voice coming from Smoker's journal account is not his usual. Or from a male at all.]

What's with my voice?! [That just squeaks there in high-pitched worry.]

Ah hell... I have boobs.

Fuck you Malnosso.

[He... she rather, clears her voice.]

S-Smoker is back... [That's a bit hesitant.] Ikki, he... he might need help. Jitte and kickboxing lessons will return to normal, sorry everyone about the delay. Could I have a headcount of everyone still wishing to take them? I might need to reorganize his schedules.

[The last part is muffled as he starts to shut the journal.]

Damn it! These jeans are way too big! Now what?!

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[Okay, forget it. He's laughing again. Are you really practicing that? Really, just laughing here.]

If you show yourself like that and try to do what you normally do, when you return to your normal self no one will take you seriously anymore. Even if you ever manage to impose on them they will just have to imagine you as a girl and there won't be any problem.

[Folds his arms and sulks all over again.]

That's not fair. I'm the same as I always am.

[Throws his hands up in exasperation.] I don't know how to be a girl. And Grell's not around to ask! [Nearly bites his cheek at that. He'd been trying not to admit he missed her.]

Except shorter, softer, with bigger eyes, smaller mouth, pouty lips, delicate looking, thinner, more prone to blushing...

[Does he need to go on?]

I'm telling you, stay at home for however long this lasts, it can't be that long anyway. Or dress up differently and claim to be someone else, even if you acted like a girl does, if you still go around as Smoker the damage will be the same.

[Frowns, and nods.] Understood.

What sort of reputation do I have now? [Another thing he's honestly not sure of, since he knows it's not the same as back home.]

Who knows. For me it's the reputation of a strong man with a strong sense of justice but that's not an asshole.

[He could go on but... Compliments aren't his thing.]

Anyway it's probably one you don't want to lose. Not to mention the reputation you may have with the pirates here.

I can be an asshole...

[Rubs the back of her neck. The pirates pretty much already consider him a joke, but he can see the point to what Ikki's saying. Unfortunately.]

One of them already caught me... Portgas. [Oh gosh. Red-faced again.] But I needed to ask him something anyway. [And he's dead, and an asshole, so Smoker's not worried about his reputation suffering too many hits there.] Hopefully the rest will just avoid me as much as they always do.

And I can be a maniacal murderer. Your point?

[You and Selphie have the strange habit of not making your points clear at times.]

If you think it's worth it, then just do whatever you want.

[It's not as if he's your mom or something to worry about you like that. You're older than him after all.]

Just saying. [Smoker can't take compliments anymore than Ikki can give them. Such a pair they are.]

[And he huffs.] No, it's good advice, and you're right. Just trying to figure out damage control.

[Perfect for each other.

Ikki hums a bit.]

Want more clothes then?

[Nods numbly.]

But I like my jacket.

[Seriously, it's a whine.]

Don't whine.

[That's all he's going to say about it.]

I never whine. You must have me confused with Hyoga. [GRITS TEETH AROUND THE CIGAR. He's now distracted in trying to figure out how to maintain his voice? Or go with the girl thing... or something.]

Once again, I don't know what girls wear and G-- the person I'd usually ask isn't here. [Drums fingers on something, but goes to look for a long jacket.]

You're right in something, you sounded just like Hyoga when you whined about your jacket. Seriously, don't do that.

[Ikki hums.]

Don't you know any other women? Selphie isn't here so we can't ask her either.

[As far as he knows. And it makes him sulk a bit.]

No way.

[Pauses.] My mermaid daughter wants to be a fashion designer, so I guess I'll go find her.

[Chew over that line in your head long enough to sink in; it doesn't make anymore sense I promise.] I could ask Ginia... but she's one of those people I wouldn't want to lose my standing with. [Assuming he has any, but he thinks they have some rapport at least.] Where's Selphie?

I still don't get how it was all logical that you would have a mermaid daughter.

[Malnosso logic.]

Anyway, you sure she will able to help with the lower part?

[Ikki shifts a bit in his position when Smoker asks about Selphie, then...]

I guess Ami is an option as well, she probably won't suggest anything too bad either.

[Yeaaaah, no talking about Selphie. Because he doesn't know.]

Actually for my world, it wouldn't be that weird. [Adoption runs rampant.] Her previous mentor was a talking starfish after all. [No seriously.]

[And he shrugs.]

She knows how to make pants, mermaids split their tails when they're 33 and can walk on land easier, but they still tend to disguise as humans.

[He meant biologically, he knows what adoption is.]

Her mentor was. But her biological father probably was a mermaid or however they are called when they are male.

[The only mermaids he knows are Smoker's daughter -barely-, and Thetis who... Doesn't really count.]

Oh, that's... Convenient. Also explains why mermaids always seem to be pictured as young and pretty.

[Chuckle.]

Well, her father could be a fishman. [See? SEE? His world is weird.]

Right. That and less people are into looking at ugly fish. [Less, because even Smoker allots that there are some out there who are into that :|]

... I guess that makes sense.

[He guesses.]

I suppose so. There are all types of tastes around.

Exactly. Same goes for everywhere. [Hands him some shirts.] Are these okay?

[He takes them and gives him a look. Are you really asking for his opinion?]

If they fit they should... Will you pick up bras as well?

[Smirk.]

[Folds his arms again.]

I hate bras.

[You know. On principle. Because they hide boobs from him and are annoying to remove from girls.]

Oh, I didn't know you had tried them already.

[Flips him off.]

Getting them off of other women. Why would I wear one now when I don't even like shirts!?

Who knows, why do women wear them?

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[Action] -- dododo pretend it's a female version of icon

[Action] -- it won't load so I can do that

[Action] -- lol orz close enough

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