justicereigns | [Audio]

[Orders a Going Merry. He's gotten a few favorites here. He chuckles again. He shrugs.] Taking everything so seriously, though... it's a bit dull. Not to mention, you took it seriously in the wrong way.

[Oh he/she did not just ask that. OOOOOOOOH HE'S GOT YOU NOW. He gives Smoker a shit-eating grin again, feeling accomplished.]

Oh, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

[Eyeroll at the name of the drink. This is why he prefers drinking at Ginia's... or would except a certain other stupid pirate takes some of the shifts and so Stalker McGee practically has to memorize Marco's schedule in order to avoid him.] What did I take the wrong way?

[Flushes a little at the last line and those damn grins ~~mostly the grin~~, but steadfastedly sips his drink and ignores it.] And here I thought you kept the Aces under your sleeves. [Gestures vaguely to the misspelled tattoo peeking out from under the T-Shirt.]

[He grins a little, and then shakes his head again.] You figure it out, Miss Marine.

[He looks down at the tattoo and then back to her, a playfully mischievous smile on his face. He's gonna go ahead and ~~do something he'll regret~~ be a bit forward. He brushes a few strands of hair out of her face, tucking them behind her ear. Oh god... that was kind of awkward.]

They like to come out every now and then.

[He's about to kick Ace's shins for the Miss comment but just widens his eyes, purely stunned by the hair brush.]

Don't do that. [Still debating kicking him and just flusters internally. What is he dooooing?]

Maybe you're just really bad at hiding things. Show-off. [Smoker would REALLY like if he didn't blush so much. Is it worse as a girl? He can't tell. It was admittedly, pretty bad to begin with. Even Kirimi called him on it and if a seven year old could spot it... He's going to try to bury his face in his drink now.]

[He has NEVER seen Smoker blush that much. Even on the girl Smoker. It's almost... cute. She's like a schoolgirl or something, and he kinda loves being the dominant one right now. But even so, she didn't like it, so he raised a hand in apology.] All right, sorry.

[He stares at his drink for a minute before taking a sip.] Hiding things, huh... you'd be surprised.

[Oh my god. The sorry just makes it worse. Why is Ace sorry? Why is a pirate apologizing to him? This has never happened before. Is this what a heart attack feels like? OKAY focusing on the cigars and drinking now. He's just... going to ignore that apology because that is even more awkward. Normally he'd realize the whole damn thing was weird and awkward, but between Valentine's Shift and being a girl + prolonged seclusion from people in general, he's not going to think too hard about it.]

Hm...

[Sip. He has several way too nosy questions, but as awkward as things are now, bringing up Gol D. Roger would make that a BILLION times worse.]

Maybe you just think you're good at it because you've always been forced to hide things. [This has a million layers to it. Forced to hide his parentage, even the name: Portgas, tributing his mother, hiding his father. Forced to hide a lot of things then. On top of which, it speaks to Smoker's own questions about all of it. And whether Ace tries to flaunt what he can, just because has to hide so much. No one is ever what they seem at first glance. But isn't that how it should be?] You show off everything else. [The things he doesn't have to hide. Whether that's because of hiding other things or not, Smoker just throws those quiet observations out there.]

[He freezes and just stares down at his drink, paling a bit. He really does not want to have this talk with a marine. Actually, he almost never wants to have this talk. But, everyone knows about it now. He can't keep acting this way. Excuse him while he just downs the rest of his drink in one go and becomes a huge mess of conflicting emotions.

Again.] ...mn. [Fuck this shit, he is getting up and leaving now.] Gotta go.

[Frowns. He didn't mean to do that. What was the point of meeting Ace here if he was just going to scare him off? How does he fix it though?]

Oi. Ace. [Looks up with big eyes. And uses his other name, it's a big thing, seriously.] Sit down. [Shakes her head.] We'll just talk about anything else.

[Why? Was he really that lonely after all the Malnosso? Still, Smoker could go look in on the turtles. Or practice jitte. Or something less masochistic. But he doesn't want Ace to go. Not like that. He wants information, but if the pirate wants to hold onto those secrets; they aren't the ones Smoker's chasing anyway. Like he told Ace before.]

[And Smoker's looking back down at the bar, not sure whether Ace will stay or go after that. And not sure if he should be hoping for one way or another.]

Sorry. [It's so mumbled, it'd take Ace being right there. And while he doesn't regret saying it... it's strange. Smoker isn't someone who apologizes. Especially not to pirates. Still, he hadn't meant to push the kid's buttons. He was trying not to, wasn't he? Hard to do. Ace was a wildfire with a lot of buttons easily pushed. And Smoker had a tendency to smash through things.]

[Stops dea because holy shit girl. You just said his first name. "Talk about anything else"... Smoker's just doing this to get some information, he knows that.But he's bored as hell and lonely.

Wow. So lonely he'll spend time with a Marine. He didn't hear the apology (but he heard something mumbled) and just sighed. He walked back over and took a seat, ordering a stronger drink. He'll just stay quiet for now.

You wanna talk, you start talkin', Smoker.]

[He's just going to sit here thinking on a safe topic. The problem is, even if he means one innocently, he can't see how it wouldn't get construed as something more malicious. Asking how long Ace has been narcoleptic is out. Asking about Garp is out. Talking about the Malnosso isn't a place either of them want to go. And this is so outside of Smoker's "comfort zone" they left it in the dust years ago. Assuming Smoker even has an actual comfort zone. Still, he prefers to get pirates to talk themselves into circles or traps... and that's precisely why Ace is on his guard. On the other hand, it's also why Smoker is wary about saying too much himself. Like hell he wants to make the same mistake so many pirates make.]

So what's the story with the hat?

[Gotta start somewhere.]

[He just raises an eyebrow, confused. REALLY? THAT IS THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH? ~~Headcanon time aw yeah.~~ He tips his hat up a little with a finger.]

I got it at my home island. I added the beads, faces and design to it, though.

[He shrugs.] I just like it.

[YES IT WAS THE BEST HE HAD. Smoker is horribly socially awkward. His idea of being friends is stealing their private ships and when they complain, flipping a coin to prove he always gets his own damn way.]

It's orange. [:|]

I'm surprised there's no spades on there. Or are the smiley faces supposed to represent Whitebeard?

Well, the faces were used on my old jolly roger. [He takes his hat off and looks at it, a bit distant.]

Nah. I just like 'em.

It suits you.

[Doesn't explain that, just orders another drink.... and then suddenly chokes. Oh. Oh. Bright red. YEAH THAT WAS DELAYED. And no don't ask the thought process, but he just figured out what Ace meant when he was talking about chasing. Damn you Fire-fist. And he fidgets and tries to see if he can get his zipper up. :|]

[He sees Smoker choke and turn bright red. The zip up his jacket.]

Aw, come on! You're not gonna hide your rack, are you? Geez, you're such a virgin.

[Just when he didn't think he could get more red.... worse than a cooked lobster here. Ears and everything. And that smoke might be twice as thick now.]

THAT--!

[Drops the hand on the zipper and punches Ace in the chest instead. Only, he's half of his height and didn't figure the distance between their stools so well, and falls over.]

Fuck. [Gee, no, he's pretty sure this could not in fact get worse. A girl, and making an idiot of himself in front of his sworn prey's big brother.]

Do all criminals think with their penis?! [Yelling that in public. Fuck his life. So much. And just even more bright red. Can he die here now? He'd like that.]

[At first he just cracks up, but then catches her when she falls.] Oi, you okay?

[And then... she yelled. Something very vulgar. He just kinda stares and blinks. Then gets kind of annoyed.] Oi, I resent that! What's wrong with wanting to look at a hot girl!?

[...] Unless you don't like looking at them. [Yes. He just called you a hot girl.]

[Flusters more because he got caught.]

I'm not a hot girl! That's what! [Folds arms, trying to be manly and gruff and oh fuck it. Ikki already told him it didn't work and Lupin told him it was just distracting.]

How would you feel if it was reversed? [Would Smoker hit on girl!Ace? You know what. That is not a place he wants to go. Shoving that thought out of his head now.] It's not like you like shirts anymore than I do-- [Oh. Ace is wearing a shirt :| Damn it Ace. You ruined his argument. So he just huffs, forgetting that this only emphasizes his chest more.]

[Flattest look ever.] Please tell me you're joking. I'm gonna deny this until the day I-- [...] I'll deny this forever, but you are hot. [That left a weird taste in his mouth. He quirks an eyebrow a little. If it were reversed... he smirks to himself.]

I like to think I'd make a hot girl.

You're making it very difficult to have a real conversation with.

[Still blushing red, but starting to cool down a little.] I'm sure you would too. Idiot. If the Malnosso see fit to turn you into one, I'll be sure to return the favor--

[Climbs back on his stool and chomps on a cigar. YEAH there is no way that that isn't awkward again. Did he just say he would hit on Ace? :| Let's just pretend it's intentional even if the blushing is getting worse again.] Then we'll see how much you like being chased.

[Arms still folded, but he might be inching that zipper discreetly down a little. Damn you shirts for being annoying.]

[STOPS. AND. STARES. Did Smoker almost say what he thought he almost said.

Y E P. Shit-eating grin.] Oh, I'll definitely hold you to that. Hopefully I won't embarrass myself as much as you, though. [Pokes her cheek.] I've never seen anyone blush this much.

[And he is going to side eye that shirt being unzipped. ~~Just yank it down, god.~~]

[Blushes forever. FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. Oh god he can't look at that grin. He seriously doesn't remember those grins getting to him this much before.]

I didn't mean it. [Mumbled and debates pulling the zipper back up... yeah he's going to just... nudge it up... a little...]

And I don't blush! [...] That much. [Making it worse... And he just gulps.] Are they really that--? [Glances down at his boobs trying to appraise them for hotness levels and failing... then realizing what the fuck he just did in front of Ace. WELL this day can't get worse.]

Oi. [Tries for a flat stare at Ace.] Eyes up here. [Oh... but the blushing. AND YUP BEET RED. You know what? He's just going to give up on life.] No wait. That's bad too.

Stupid pirates... Why couldn't you be a marine?

[.... This was a train wreck of epic proportions. Did he basically just say all of this attention would have been welcome if Ace wasn't a pirate? YUP. And technically, how much is Ace even a pirate now? And did he just try to mentally justify Portgas D. Ace again? Fuck his life.] Not... that that would make it better...

[He is not going to laugh, he's not going to laugh, he's not going t-- shit, he's chuckling. He's going to hide those behind his hand and try not to burst into laughter and make Smoker feels worse.

Even though that would be hilarious.] I never thought I would see you this flustered. Now I've seen everything. Shit, I wish I had a vision dial.

[He attempts a growl, which even to Smoker, sounds cuter than it should be.]

Keep it up and I'll make you flustered, brat.

Oh yeah? [He gets his face quite close to hers, leaning over her a bit to add for... idk suspense or intensity. Yeah. He tilts her chin up a little.]

I'd like to see you try.

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[Action] female version of this pretendy

[Action] manry lady Smoker

[Action] The manriest XD

[Action] Of course.

[Action] Of course.

[Action] >:3

[Action] lkajsdlaksjd

[Action] this is hideiously beautiful

[Action] SO MUCH

[Action] RIGHT