justicereigns | [Audio]

[Oh, look who decided to finally come back. Even evented and in love, he still hates you Smoker. Seeing you as a woman only pays back a little bit of what he had to endure with you gone.]

You get new jeans, obviously.

[Answering the last part.]

I'll go and help Smoker if he needs help. But if you, miss, know where he is maybe you could help him by yourself.

[And being a jerk, yes. Welcome back, he was worried.]

[Poor poor Ikki.]

Shut up. [It's a growl, sounding ALMOST like Smoker if 3 octaves too high. And then it just goes straight into squeaky whining.] I'm not even sure where I am yet! And I think the jacket is long enough to cover things, but...

[And now the tone is just pouty. He's going to hate himself when he's back to normal.] I don't want anyone to see me like this.

What date is it anyway?

[A rumbling laugh here. So scary Smoker.]

You just missed Valentine's day. But I'm sure some guy will be happy to accept your chocolates if you explain why you're late.

[Yeah, he feels sorry for you, man.]

Fine, I'll search for you... You sure they didn't change your mind as well?

[That whining and pouting, don't tell him it was always there, he's sure it wasn't.]

What seriously? I mean... good that I missed it, but I can't believe it's been that long!

Oi... shut the hell up. I'm not eating any guy's chocolate. And I think I'm normal. [GLARE.] How would I even know? No wait, I remember being male, so they can't have, right?

You're the girl now, you should be the one giving out chocolate.

[Still laughing, yes.]

I'm not sure. You sounded more pouting than what I remembered.

[Btw, totally going for you, don't worry.]

Fuck off. I'm late anyway. [NO WAIT. He wasn't considering it or anything, jeez.]

WHAT?

Pouting? Are you drunk again?! [Squeaky screechy. Aw yeah.]

I'm sure they would understand.

[Can you sound even more like a woman?]

No, but you're squeaking now.

Are you that desperate for chocolate?

I do not "squeak." [Excuse him and his denial.]

Sorry, even if you gave me any I won't be able to accept it. Search for someone else.

[He already got all the chocolate he needs.]

Sure you don't. And you don't have breasts either.

I wouldn't poison you. [Flatly, because he missed the point. Do explain. Maybe he'll squeal all giddy and fangirl ship the relationship.]

... Shut up. [Sulking now.]

[Except he doesn't mind if he misses the point or not.]

I know you wouldn't. If I was worried about that I wouldn't live with you.

[Chuckle.]

And now you're sulking... At least your Cosmo hasn't changed, I've found you.

[Not literally but now he knows where you are. In a moment you'll have a firebird landing near you.]

Cosmo? Oh right, the mantra-thing.

[Looks up with a sigh of relief. Don't worry Ikki, the jeans are too big, but the boxers have elastic so they're still on at least =\]

Oh, there you are. So why wouldn't you eat my chocolate? It's just food. [And he's cooked plenty of other things. He'll just fold his arms, all grumpy-like now.]

[Yeah, he's grateful for those boxers.]

If they were going to throw you out like this they could have done the job properly and have given you appropriate clothes.

[Like a dress, you know.]

I didn't say that. I said I wouldn't accept any Valentine's chocolate.

[Whatever.] You don't seem wounded.

[Smoker will fight kicking and screaming to avoid that dress. >:|]

I have breasts. [Points to them like they are the wound. Or leeches. Or something. And also like Ikki wouldn't have known until he said it.] And I was lost. And I don't have pants. [Huffs on his cigars and folds his arms.]

Why not anyone's? Hate the holiday on principle? [He doesn't remember you hating it too much last year, but then he does remember there was some sort of reason to... wasn't there?]

I would have never guessed. I would have brought pants but I don't think any of them will sit you now either.

[Well, not anyone's, Kotomi's chocolate was accepted happily.]

No. I just don't need to accept any of those.

[Anymore.]

Yeah... I need to get... girl jeans. I guess. [Excuse him as he estimates his height based on Ikki's size and how ridiculously bigger his jitte is now.] And gloves.

What does that mean? [Piercing slate grey-eyed look. Spill. Although this is even less effective than usual since his eyes are more "moe" and gigantic rather than piercing orbs of JUSTICE.]

[Ikki hums as he looks back at that piercing look.]

... You shouldn't try to do any of your usual work while you're like this. It's hard to take you seriously with those eyes.

[Said in all seriousness ever.]

Let's go and get you some clothes then.

[Mentally cries. Or mentally kills things. One of those. He feels like both. Female hormones are weird, okay?]

My eyes are different? [Well duh, they would be. But no, he hasn't seen a mirror yet so...]

Clothes would be good. You still have to tell me why. [How do women get information? Nagging??]

They are larger and rounder. Cuter as well, it's hard to know if you're glaring or giving a puppy look to rival Hyoga.

[Kind of. Anyway, moving on...]

Do you want to walk all the way back or should I teleport us both?

[Ignoring your questions, yes.]

[BLUSHES BRIGHT RED.] I -- I do not have puppy eyes. [Folds arms and hmphs.]

Teleport. Bad enough being a girl, I still need to get pants. [He refuses a skirt.]

What are you hiding anyway? [See his gratitude? It does substitute his curiosity though.]

Wait until you look at yourself in a mirror.

[Well, teleporting it is. It doesn't take long before they go from being surrounded by fire to be in front of the clothing store.]

I'm not hiding anything. I just don't have a particular reason to answer.

[And randomly Smoker is noting how tall Ikki is again. Damn she's short now.]

Really, because it sounded like something interesting happened. [Folds his arms again... trying to act normal but briefly hesitates since Ikki said not to try to do his normal things. How would a girl--? No... he can't. The only things that come to mind are the things Hina does. That would just be traumatic to try.]

[Screw it. If Ikki's not gonna tell him, he won't bug him. For now. So just looking around for jeans.]

We lost a weekend from the past month. I think that's about the most interesting thing that has happened.

[Waiting. No, he's not helping if you don't ask.]

Lost?? How?

[He wouldn't accept your help Ikki! >:| He is manly and independent and can pick out his own clothes. Badly if you've ever seen him in shorts; and later he wears two jackets, but still! He's going to be over here... looking at jeans and trying to remember what looks good on chicks. Maybe he should have asked Alice's help, since she'd dragged him clothes shopping before.]

No one remembers what happened in those two days. The memories are gone, wiped. I think last year something similar happened, but they like to play with our memories so much that it's hard to keep track of it.

[Audio]

[Audio] Guess what, you get the sexy icon first :D

[Audio] yay! but he's not impressed

[Audio] lmao clearly

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