Captain's Log

[Smoker might have gone a bit on a bender. One of those "everything is wrong, let's just drink into oblivion" kinds. Justice isn't what it ought to be, pirates are turning into heroes and even Smoker isn't as good at hunting through people's hearts as he thought. Vergo was adjusting his newspapers and Smoker didn't even catch on. That was why he needed Tashigi, and she wasn't here. So here in Luceti, Smoker couldn't tell enemy from from friend anymore. At least not on a grand scale. Malnosso? Third Party? Too many factions, too many wildcards. He thought he could just ignore those factions and focus on what was directly at hand, but that's becoming less and less of an option. Option? What options?]

[So he's drinking.]

[And you know what Smoker does when he drinks? He stacks rocks.]

[Sure, that sounds benign enough, but that would be a serious underestimation of Smoker's love for going overboard.]

( ooc cut for giant picture )

Now this is what you can do with non-defective rocks! [He is just so proud.]

[This is a man who sounds pretty angry. Of course if you know Smoker well, then you might know he often sounds like that. Still, even for Smoker, clearly something's set him off.]

Welcome to New Feathers, if you haven't heard about the Shifts or Drafts yet, I suggest you look into it. If you want to learn basic self defense I could teach you, or Chun-Li could, or any of other teachers who offer it. Normally I'd offer to teach jitte as well, but I'm using flimsy knock-offs right now because some idiot seems to have borrowed it without permission.

[And here he gives a lethal glare to the camera.] I know a pirate took it before, and I've spent all this month hunting you down. I don't know who took it, but step forward now and I'll be far more lenient than if you continue to make me wait!

[His tone suggests that "lenient" means he'll only beat the thief half to death instead of two-thirds.]

I'll be by the barracks stacking rocks. [And making a snowman. Not that he's going to admit to that to anyone. Except kids maybe.]

[Here you see a happy Smoker. A really genuinely ridiculously happy Smoker. Drink it in, it's a rarity.]

This is the best island ever! [He's as lit up as a kid at Christmas.] I dub this COFFEE ISLAND!!! [And now he's showing off the rivers of coffee and grabbing another steaming cup. Really he's ecstatic.]

Smoker-Junsho! Smoker-Junsho! [A marine snapping a salute shows up on screen.]

Call me Captain. [Happy growl from Smoker as the marine brings him paperwork.]

Sir! Orders from the Brass! [He hands over the papers, but then they burst into flames.]

[Smoker is even MORE thrilled.] This is the greatest island in the world. Look look!! [Shows off his neatly stacked 10-high rocks.] I REACHED TEN!! Fuck yes! Screw it. I'm retiring here!

[And then a goat comes tumbling by and headbutts Smoker's rock stack.] Oi! What the hell goat!? Grrrrrrr. [Soon after that Sengoku shows up and stares at Smoker. Smoker stares back and then cuts off the feed.]

[[ooc: After Smoker cuts off the camera he's going to run away from Sengoku in denial so you'll mostly have to track him down via the post.]