Captain's Log

[As Smoker moves through the village of Luceti, checking old haunts, and getting his things, he catches himself up in his usual way of stalking the journal before heading to the barracks.]

( cut for Action, song, and introspection )

[Sometime when it's all over, he walks around at night, singing again and looking at houses.] [That's when he makes the journal post in voice.]

I'm back. Ikki, get your ass back to the village if you left. [An irritable huff.] And I need to see a doctor. [He can't bring himself to say please. Can't bring himself to mention Law by name either.] Whoever's available, it's important. [He probably shouldn't have been exercising in this condition, but whatever. He goes at his own pace.]

For New Feathers, I'm Smoker. [A marine. Vice Admiral of G-5, it means nothing to no one, except a few, and to G-5, he's their last savior. Traitors everywhere.] I intend to pick up teaching basic self-defense, kickboxing, and jitte outside the barracks, daily. If you haven't been told yet, there are Drafts rather frequently and the Malnosso have no qualms about taking noncombatants.

And to anyone a little more battle-hardened... [Where does he even begin? "Hey have you ever had one day where everything you ever knew about right and wrong were turned inside out, only that day then sort of became the story of your life? Oh and my best friend is currently a badass hobo who saved my life from a good guy traitor. Not really sure how to take that...."]

I just had a very long day that lasted about twenty years of my life. I need a drink. [And a friend. A pair of ears. Someone to talk to him and tell him he wasn't going nuts. Or maybe just tell him the truth... whatever that was at this point.] That's meant to be an invitation. Open to anyone. For one night only, that includes pirates.

For those who knew her, Grell Sutcliffe has been sent home. She will be missed. [At least by him. For those who were her victims... well.]

For New Feathers, I'm Captain Smoker. [Commodore. Whatever. He doesn't acknowledge that. Especially in Luceti.] And I train jitte outside the barracks. For those already learning, lessons are not disrupted. For group sessions, anyone can drop in and join, those are run through most of the afternoons. I also offer one on one lessons and kickboxing.

We're also still looking to assemble anyone with police enforcement experience, so don't be afraid to speak up.

On a more leisurely note, Ginia, what do you say to having a poker game once a week at the Cloud Nine? [Because he really needs another addiction on top of the others.]

[For the entire time, Smoker has been trying to control his outbursts. Because manly marines don't sing. Or at least Smoker doesn't. Not that he's exactly had much say in this. At least he'd escaped with no one seeing the skipping. Until now. Because there's just something about that fountain that makes everyone, even those who hate water thanks to devil fruit -- want to sing and dance. Internally Smoker would like to do anything to stop this unfortunate event. But that's not happening. And so it all climaxes to a full out chorus of Tarantaras, complete with "marching" around in a circle. Any psuedo-policeman types are encouraged to join in, because the more you say Tarantara, the more addicting it gets. Besides, the last time Smoker did a cartwheel was... never. And he would like to just crawl into a hole and die. And just when he's quite certain he's lost all respect forever, he growls into the journal.]

Shouldn't this god damn thing be over with by now?!

Tarantara.

Not that I mind having the kids around.

Tarantara Tarantara.

Ugh... maybe if I just never talk again...

[First person to say he sings like a (drunk) angel wins fifty points.]

[Here you see a happy Smoker. A really genuinely ridiculously happy Smoker. Drink it in, it's a rarity.]

This is the best island ever! [He's as lit up as a kid at Christmas.] I dub this COFFEE ISLAND!!! [And now he's showing off the rivers of coffee and grabbing another steaming cup. Really he's ecstatic.]

Smoker-Junsho! Smoker-Junsho! [A marine snapping a salute shows up on screen.]

Call me Captain. [Happy growl from Smoker as the marine brings him paperwork.]

Sir! Orders from the Brass! [He hands over the papers, but then they burst into flames.]

[Smoker is even MORE thrilled.] This is the greatest island in the world. Look look!! [Shows off his neatly stacked 10-high rocks.] I REACHED TEN!! Fuck yes! Screw it. I'm retiring here!

[And then a goat comes tumbling by and headbutts Smoker's rock stack.] Oi! What the hell goat!? Grrrrrrr. [Soon after that Sengoku shows up and stares at Smoker. Smoker stares back and then cuts off the feed.]

[[ooc: After Smoker cuts off the camera he's going to run away from Sengoku in denial so you'll mostly have to track him down via the post.]

Damn brass think they can tell me what to do. Tch. Finally got the orders clearing a ride over St. Poplar. Who here has been there before?

I can't take another minute in Water 7. If I don't find some pirates to hunt soon... Picking off Mello's attackers hardly counts as an appetizer.

I'm taking the sea train over and staying a couple days. No one but Tashigi has to come along but anyone who wants to should. Allen I know is coming. Karen? You still interested? Nataku too. Zenigata and Lady if you feel like it. And Lavi it's a good chance to see a new city. Did you get that information we talked about?

I think I need to get some breakfast. Anyone got recommendations or something? And some painkillers wouldn't go amiss.

Also. The ship should be fixed soon. Any last minute buying trips you'd better finish up now.

TROOPS! MOUNT UP!

Set the sails, all hands on deck if you're read this.

I found the idiot rear-admiral's ship. We're taking it back. We'll need everyone to sail both back. I sent in the forms informing the brass. To hell with their damn orders. They already failed the attempt to get it back.

Yachiru you ready for a fight with those idiots if necessary?

Allen, I want you still in that sling.

And the rest of you idiots; get a move on.

A marine ship. You stole a marine ship. And not any marine ship, a fucking rear admiral's ship.

Do you have NO common sense or just a death wish?!

Allow me to oblige the latter.

Arsene Lupin III, the minute I find you you're under arrest you bastard.

And Brooke! Don't think I don't know you were involved! AFRO BATS of all things were spotted at the scene! And there's a large cursive B in Lupin's calling card! Do not insult marine intelligence further you idiots!

Seeing as how my ship is playing host to a bunch of green-backed recruits, a few reminders for you all:

The Grand Line is a dangerous place. Goofing off will get you killed. Stay on alert at all times, we will always be after prey on my ship and sometimes idiot pirates will try stupid means to escape.

Daily Drills are not optional they're mandatory. I was very disappointed in the lack of organization in our last fight. Stupid mistakes like that will get you killed and as such I'm increasing the level of the drills until you learn better. Azula you're to continue the spars against me, Rinali and Lady there will be special focus on sailing skills right now.

Yachiru will be instructing Tashigi and all others in swords. Also mandatory, not optional until you can defeat her. Don't question it or I'll let her play pony with you.

Anyone looking to join the marines should talk to their local recruitment officer. Barring that, you CAN come to me if you feel it's necessary. We are hiring. Any pirate scum will prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Anyone arriving here from another world is expected to take up a legal occupation or be chased as pirates. Once again; the marines are always hiring, piracy should be a last resort, not first and fuck that shit, piracy is not an option.

That is all.

Great. I'm covered in seagulls. Anyone know a good way to get rid of several THOUSAND seagulls?!! Every time I get rid of a hundred or so, a dozen more appear.

God damn it. I told Portgas those birds were dirty.

Now who the fuck sent him a whistle that summons every fucking seagull in 100 mile radius?! Do you have ANY idea how many of those there are on this ocean? 'Fess up now and I'll go easier on you than if you make me hunt you down. And rest assured moron, I will find you.