Captain's Log

Hello new feathers and old.

First off, I'm Captain Smoker. [Those who know otherwise can point out that he's a commodore, and that it doesn't even matter in this place.] I teach kickboxing, basic self defense, and jitte for anyone who would need it. I can also help spar against swordsmen if they're looking to expand their skills. Every so often a draft goes out taking people at random; kids and civilians alike, so even a little bit of practice can help. There are other self defense classes being taught so I'm sure we could work something out between teachers and create a formal schedule if need be.

Secondly, there's a lot of discussion about putting together a more permanent form of police or watch group to deal as first responders to threats to the village. Since that doesn't seem like something that will get worked out too easily, I'd like to suggest making a safe haven of the barracks. Anyone who can't or doesn't want to fight could safely put there in emergencies and defenders could keep watch.

On a different note; Jack Sparrow I'm confiscating your ship. Your previous acts of piracy here in Luceti have shown you're not to be trusted with one. Now let that be a lesson to other would-be pirates here.

[ooc: yeah, no, even Smoker doesn't expect that to work so feel free to tell him to fuck off. He just promised to give it a try, and he misses beating up pirates =\ Anyways, please do yell at him for overstepping bounds, though he really won't give a fuck.]

Age is just a number. 34. 35. Close enough, right?

[There's a drunk slur to his words followed by the clink of rocks being stacked and summarily falling over.]

Damn it! These rocks are defective. [As opposed to functional rocks?] Tashigi!

[....] Oh right. She's not here. Tch. Maybe a whole rum cake wasn't such a great idea after all.

[This has been a public service announcement. Don't drink and post folks. Anyone looking to find our drunk White Hunter might find him stomping around the dark, looking for non-defective... rocks. He's also carrying around a bottle of Rhum brand rum. And he's a prime target for messing with. Happy Birthday Smoker.]

[Apparently Luffy is running around like a madman, smoking two cigars and looking a little huskier than his usual self. Also, he doesn't seem to have his rubber devil fruit, instead every so often, there's a jump with smoke or a dodge to the side, but no stretching whatsoever.]

God damn it! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! [Oh yeah, and he's being chased by a pair of seastone handcuffs and a seastone-tipped jitte. Payback is a bitch, even when it's justice. Unfortunately even the near endurance master is going to run out of energy sometime, and after slowing down just a little, he trips, gets pounced by the jitte in his back and the handcuffs instantly latch around his wrists. After some wriggling, it's clear his journal is open so he just wriggles over to it.]

Can someone get me out of these fucking things? I have the key, I'm just not that flexible, ironically. [And that would be Smoker's voice, but apparently "Luffy's" head smacking into the ground.] Snow is a lot colder when you're completely human by the way. And now my smokes are running out. Joy.

[For the entire time, Smoker has been trying to control his outbursts. Because manly marines don't sing. Or at least Smoker doesn't. Not that he's exactly had much say in this. At least he'd escaped with no one seeing the skipping. Until now. Because there's just something about that fountain that makes everyone, even those who hate water thanks to devil fruit -- want to sing and dance. Internally Smoker would like to do anything to stop this unfortunate event. But that's not happening. And so it all climaxes to a full out chorus of Tarantaras, complete with "marching" around in a circle. Any psuedo-policeman types are encouraged to join in, because the more you say Tarantara, the more addicting it gets. Besides, the last time Smoker did a cartwheel was... never. And he would like to just crawl into a hole and die. And just when he's quite certain he's lost all respect forever, he growls into the journal.]

Shouldn't this god damn thing be over with by now?!

Tarantara.

Not that I mind having the kids around.

Tarantara Tarantara.

Ugh... maybe if I just never talk again...

[First person to say he sings like a (drunk) angel wins fifty points.]

Bend and stretch.

[Fog doesn't scare Smoker. What does get to him is trying to move in this teddy bear costume when he feels like he's going to fall over from being out of balance. He's just glad Hina can't see him and mock the pudgy tummy. Or that he's not too recognizable until he speaks.]

Damn this thing is hard to move in. [Still, there's Smoker, trying to exercise, because something might come up and he'll need to move fast. Who knows.]

At least there's free weights everywhere. [He picks up one of the cartoonish Tim Burton-style jack-o-lanterns, but then it flares, trying to breathe fire at him and there's a ghoulish laugh. Still, nonplussed Smoker is thoroughly unfazed.] Oh, knock it off.

[As he's already been running around again, Smoker's sounding a little run-down, but on top of things.]

Given all the posts looking for specific people; everyone who's safe and has friends they know are missing, we might as well start up a wanted post. If you've lost someone and can't find them and worry they might still be trapped, report in with where you think they might be and attempts to locate will be done immediately.

Was anyone besides John in the tunnels? [Yeah, it's clear he gives more a damn about certain lost kids than the malnosso. He's a bastard like that.]

And I suggest someone start collecting rebuilding supplies before some other entrepreneuring idiot makes the attempt.

In the meanwhile, has anyone set aside a refugee area for the people now homeless? If nothing else, anyone who appears to be lost can check in there.

Everyone's sure there's no new people showing up? Because I could swear I keep hearing her trip over things. And yeah, I know... everyone else is hearing things too. But her coffee. No one could duplicate that. So where did it come from?

Hn.

Ash, I got a bunch of different things to make various types of omelette. No luck on ketchup yet, but I'll keep looking.

And Kohaku, I have a plant I need you to look at.

Oh and Raph, thanks again for the jitte. It's even sturdier than I expected.

Hey Ash, if you're reading this (otherwise I'll just bring it up next session) I'm thinking of picking up the pace of your training. You're coming along pretty well, but I should talk it over with your other coach, if just to make sure we don't overdo it. What do you think?

To any and all blacksmiths here; it's a long shot since there's no marines, do any of you know how to work with seastone? Anyone at all. If not, I still need a jitte made, but it will take a lot since it goes through more abuse than a lance and needs a tailored weight.

[Smoker is wandering around the forest, still in just the pants, having not been able to find his jacket or remaining items yet. He's not completely sure where to go and has yet to find the actual town. He's grumpy, stomping on the forest floor and not too thrilled about the wings. Still, he'd probably appreciate a little bit of help. Or he might get mad at pirates. Whichever.]

Damn it! [Growls and kicks a fallen tree branch. Well, no one said he was polite, even alone.]

And we're out of here. I found the "leader" of the island in the midst of the men in suits. He rewards them with sand dollars and the chasing the bears and bulls is apparently some form of training for an extreme decathlon. Apparently it's spring training like for baseball. Every time this year the bears come down from the mountains and wrestle the bulls for dominance over the island. If you want to know why go send a freaking zoologist.

We're heading through the calm belt everyone, so absolutely no one, I mean no one, not Tashigi or any of you idiots, is to go swimming. I don't care how many daredevils think seaking baiting is great sport, on the Grand Line you might get one or two. Calm Belts will give you dozens. Understood? Tch. Idiots.

Everyone better be training because I'm not rescuing you from dying in the fight. I'm sure Tashigi will offer last minute sparring and darts sessions for all interested parties.

Promotions are being sent in at the end of this month. Start shaping up now.

Allen, get your ass back here before the next island. I'm not fooling around.

Karen, let's talk.
Oh, Happy and I also want to formally invite you and Charle to dinner before we reach the Calm Belts. If it's not too much trouble.